


Under the Stars

by bearpantaloons



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Romantic Comedy, and some angst, because why not, just kidding there's a lot of angst, who doesn't love a little fake dating?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-07-28 18:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 47,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16247750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearpantaloons/pseuds/bearpantaloons
Summary: Cosima is a few months away from graduating when her teacher's aide, Delphine, throws a wrench into her plans: a surprise [fake] engagement.Based loosely off of The Proposal.





	1. Columba

**Author's Note:**

> So. I know I keep churning these out mediocre fics, but, I can't help it. I got it bad.
> 
> This time I'm definitely, definitely posting 1-2 updates a week, mainly because this fic isn't complete yet and if I have people reading it and interested, it may motivate me to finish. And even if no one reads it, it's giving me something to do whenever work is slow.
> 
> Anywho. YEEHAW, hope you enjoy this intro chapter. I'm hoping to post Mondays and Thursdays (when I remember). Eternally grateful for those of you who leave comments and kudos.

_"Well, I'll put you in pride of place / I'm gonna set my sights / I'm gonna set your soul alight / Under the stars" –_ Morning Parade, "Under the Stars"

 

…

 

 

Cosima Niehaus pushes through the large door that opens into the lecture hall and finds a seat in the front half of the room, but not too close to the front, and off to the right side in the aisle seat. She wants the professor to be able to see her, but not close enough that she can feel his breath. She’s a fourth year undergrad at the University of California in Berkeley, majoring in Genetics, Genomics, & Development. She figured the major was something that would make her parents proud and it was a subject she was interested in enough to tolerate. The class she’s in is Molecular Immunology and one of her prerequisites for the program she’s in.

She watches other students filter in and fill up seats around her. Then, the teacher’s aide walks in and sits in the front row. Cosima is sitting at the perfect angle, so that she can see both the professor and the TA clearly. The TA is the real reason why she sits where she does, if she's being perfectly honest. She takes out a notebook out of bag and slaps it onto the tiny desk that folds up from underneath the chair. Her eyes dart between the blank page and the TA and she feels her palms get clammy. She’s learned that the TA’s name is Delphine Cormier and she’s studying abroad, originally from France. She’s a grad student whose dissertation is on something about immunology and all of this information was gathered from eavesdropping or Internet stalking.

Delphine turns around to look at the rest of the class and catches Cosima staring. Cosima averts her gaze immediately and pretends to write something in her blank notebook. Luckily, the professor walks in and takes the attention of the room. He writes his name, “Professor Leekie,” on the blackboard. The lights are dimmed and he begins his lecture. Cosima only half listens and watches Delphine sit back in her chair and play with her pen.

About ten minutes into the lecture, someone rushes down the stairs and stops at the end of Cosima’s row and asks if anyone is sitting next to her. She shakes her head and the man slides in and sits down next to her. He has messy brown hair and circular-framed glasses. He grins goofily at Cosima and she gives him a polite smile back. He rips a notebook out of his backpack loudly and when he tries to lift his desk up, it won’t stay up, so he just takes notes on his lap.

“I hear the TA is banging the professor,” the man whispers to Cosima. She purses her lips and ignores him. He continues talking, “I guess that’s cool if you like having sex with an actual skeleton.”

Cosima snorts and covers her mouth; people look at her with annoyed looks on their faces, including the professor and Delphine.

“Sorry, I uh, had to sneeze.”

The rest of the lecture goes on without incident. When they’re excused, Cosima packs up her bag and walks back up the stairs. The man picks up his things and follows her.

“Hey, sorry if I embarrassed you earlier. I’m Scott. Uh, Smith.”

“Hi, Scott. I’m Cosima Niehaus,” she replies. They stop right outside of the hall, and stand off to the side.

“I doubt you’ll need it, but we have a study group that meets every Thursday. You’re welcome to join us, if you want.”

Waves of people walk past them and Cosima catches a glimpse of a familiar head of golden curls pass by. Scott watches Cosima closely and raises an eyebrow.

“You like her,” he says.

“What? No I don’t.”

“I’ve been rejected and I’ve pined after enough people to know what a crush looks like. And I know we’ve only met and it’s none of my business, but I know that look.”

Cosima sighs, admitting defeat. Ever since she and her ex-girlfriend Shay broke up, she’s felt unsure of herself and she hated it. She was usually confident when it came to women, but planting one little seed of doubt can uproot your entire perspective.

Scott puts a hand on her shoulder. “Look, come to study group on Thursday. Sometimes the TAs show up to answer questions. Delphine’s been there a few times.”

Cosima concedes and tells Scott that she’ll be there. They exchange phone numbers and take their leave. Cosima has a break between classes, so she decides to go get a coffee down the street. If someone she just met that day could tell she was madly in love with her TA, who else could tell? She sits down at a corner table and takes her laptop out, plugging it into the outlet in the wall. She checks her social media and sees that Scott has already sent her a friend request. She laughs to herself and accepts it.

When she hears her name called to pick up her order, she stands and her breath hitches when she sees Delphine sitting at a table across the room. She quickly picks up her drink and sits back down, trying to hide her face behind the screen of her computer. The woman is going to think she’s stalking her. As Cosima tries to keep herself occupied, she can’t help but look up at Delphine every once in a while. She’s been on the phone with someone for a while, possibly on hold. The look on her face is one of distress and she rubs her forehead.

Someone must have answered on the other end, because Delphine perks up and holds the phone closer to her ear. She listens intently and her forehead wrinkles and she starts to shake her head. She’s speaking to someone in French and it looks like she’s arguing. Cosima doesn’t speak a word of French, but she can tell it’s not a good conversation by the way Delphine moves her arms and contorts her face. After a few minutes, their conversation is over and Delphine tosses the phone onto the table.

“Merde,” she mutters.

She gathers her things and throws them haphazardly into her bag and walks toward the door. Cosima ducks her head down and doesn’t make eye contact.

Cosima finishes her coffee and leaves the café, heading back to campus. She goes to the rest of her classes and catches the bus to ride back to her apartment. When she opens the door, she’s greeted by her cat, Snoop. She bends down to pat him on the head and goes to the kitchen to feed him his dinner.

She hears her phone buzz from the coffee table and she walks over to check it. It’s Scott, he messaged her to let her know that he and some friends are getting together at his place to play some tabletop games and she’s invited. If she’s not into tabletop games, there will be alcohol.

It was strange having people to hang out with. She was by no means a loner; she had plenty of friends, but most of them wanted to go out all every night. Since she was so close to graduating, she would rather stay in and study or relax. She looked over at Snoop, who meows at her pathetically.

“You’re right, Snoop. I should go.”

Cosima leaves her apartment and catches another bus to Scott’s apartment. When she arrives, she knocks on the door and Scott opens it with a giant grin on his face.

“Hey, you made it!”

He moves out of the way, so she can walk in. She sees that she’s the only female there, but it doesn’t bother her. One of the guys offers her a beer, which she gracefully accepts. They all exchange pleasantries and introduce themselves and what their majors are. One is an engineer, another is a biochem major, and the third is a liberal arts major.

“You’re the one who has the crush on the TA, right?” the liberal arts major, Calwyn, asks. Scott shoots him a look and the other guy shrugs.

“Seriously, Scott?”

“I’m sorry! If it’s any consolation, we all think it’s adorable.” The guys nod.

“I heard she’s banging th—“

Scott elbows the biochem major, Allen, in the ribs and he cuts himself off. Cosima shakes her head and takes a big swig from her bottle.

“So, we going to play some games, or what?” Cosima asks, trying to change the subject. They spend the next few hours talking and playing, getting to know each other better. Cosima feels comfortable around them fairly quickly. They all seem like a good group of people.

After a few hours, the engineer, Isaiah, takes his leave, saying he has an early class in the morning. Soon after, Calwyn and Allen head home, as well, leaving Scott and Cosima alone in the apartment.

“Hey, Cosima, I’m sorry I told the guys about Delphine. I didn’t mean to betray your trust, or anything like that.”

Cosima shakes her head. “It’s all good, dude. No harm done. Besides, if you could tell I was into her after knowing me for an hour, I’m sure anyone else would be able to figure it out. Hell, Delphine probably already knows.”

“Well, it probably doesn’t help that sees you wherever she goes.”

Cosima throws her hands up in the air. “The café was _totally_ a coincidence.”

Cosima stands up to leave. Scott confirms that she’ll be at the next study group and Cosima assures him that she’ll be there. When she gets back to her apartment, Snoop is there, waiting by the door to greet her. He rubs himself up against her legs and she does her best not to trip over him.

She heads to her bathroom and washes her face and puts on her pajamas. When she climbs into bed, Snoop hops up to join her. Cosima takes off her glasses and rolls onto her side, imagining what it would be like to have the other half of her bed occupied. It’s been over a year since she and Shay broke up, but she misses having the warmth there. She misses having someone kiss her forehead before they both drift off to sleep. Most of all, she misses having someone to share her secrets with – someone who isn’t Snoop, anyway.

Cosima lets out a long sigh and tries to push those feelings back deep inside of her. She thinks about Delphine, who probably doesn’t even know who she is outside of a name on a graded paper. She thinks about her failed relationships. She thinks about how she will likely never be good enough for her parents, for herself, or for someone like Delphine Cormier.


	2. Corvus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been getting so much positive feedback on this fic that I decided to post an update early. Enjoy, and thanks to everyone who's commented or left kudos! You're the real MVPs.
> 
> P.S. I may be projecting some of myself onto this version of Cosima, so... yeah. Oops?

The next day, Cosima has a full day of classes and labs up until study group later that evening. She barely has time to eat lunch and only realizes she’s only eaten a banana all day when her stomach starts to rumble on her way to the room where the group is meeting. It’s too late to order anything, so she finds a vending machine and buys a bag of candy.

When she gets to the classroom, she’s the first one there and she’s worried she got the wrong room. She double and triple checks the text Scott sent and it’s the right one. Finally, someone else enters the room and Cosima is both elated and petrified to see that it’s none other than Delphine Cormier with her stupidly gorgeous hair and ridiculously pretty face.

“Oh, hey. I was told there was a study group for Professor Leekie’s MCB150 class and Scott Smith invited me. I hope that’s okay.”

Delphine looks her up and down and shrugs. “Why would it not be okay?”

Cosima swallows hard. “Uh, I don’t know. Just making sure, I guess. Anyway, I’m Cosima. You’ve probably graded my homework, or something.”

“Delphine. And, yes, your name does sound familiar. I think you’re at the top of the class.” She puts her bag down on the teacher’s desk and sits on top of it.

“Really?” Cosima grins widely.

“Yes, but I wouldn’t get too big of a head. The grading curve is fairly steep.”

Cosima immediately deflates. “Oh, right. Of course.” Delphine hates her. She doesn’t have any proof, but she _knows_. She can totally tell.

The door opens and Scott and Allen walk in, saving Cosima from her own thoughts. The boys both smile politely at Delphine and walk over to Cosima. They push a few desks together to face each other and take out their notes and homework. Delphine sits at the desk and silently grades some paperwork.

The three of them are just out of earshot and start whispering to each other.

“Now’s your chance to ask her out,” Scott says.

Cosima scoffs. “Don’t be ridiculous. She’s not at all interested.”

“How do you know?” Allen asks.

“You guys have no idea how women work, do you?” Cosima challenges. “I just know.”

The boys sneak glances at the blonde, who is none the wiser and continues working.

“All right, I got this,” Allen says as he stands up and walks toward Delphine.

“What are you doing?” Cosima whispers harshly.

She groans and buries her head in her work. Allen leans across the desk and shoots a look over at Cosima, who is doing her best to ignore him. A couple minutes later, Allen sits back down and he looks straight ahead, looking like he just saw his parents naked.

“You’re right, she’s a tough nut to crack. She told me that I have the face of a gerbil and I don’t know if that was a compliment or not.”

“Did you tell her that Cosima wants to ask her out?” Scott inquires.

“Heck no, I didn’t even get that far. I went over to ask some arbitrary question about the homework and then I tried to tell her that she has nice hair, but that’s when she told me that I have the face of a gerbil.”

Cosima laughs. “Something tells me that wasn’t meant as a compliment. Anyway, thanks for trying, but now you know why I’m not even going to bother. I’d rather save what little face I have left and not get rejected.”

They continue working and talking. After a short while, Delphine stands up and walks over to the trio. Everyone freezes whatever they’re doing and look at her, but not into her eyes.

“If you guys don’t have any questions for me, there are some things I need to go take care of.”

The three look at each other and wait for the others to say something. Cosima looks up at Delphine and smiles.

“I think we’re good here, thanks.”

Delphine gives a small nod and takes her leave. They all release the breaths they were holding in.

“Geez, women generally intimidate me anyway, but Delphine is on a whole different intimidation level,” Scott admits.

Cosima nods in agreement. “Tell me about it. Like, there are straight girls and then there are _straight girls._ She’s definitely the latter. Just my luck, too. I seem to fall for either emotionally unavailable women or straight ones.”

“Luckily for you, Delphine seems to be both,” Allen jokes halfheartedly.

When they decide that they’ve had enough studying, they pack up their things and head out to have a late dinner.

* * *

 “So, when I rolled strike damage, guess what I rolled,” Scott asked. Cosima shrugs her shoulders, not really understanding the rules of D&D.

“I rolled a one! Critical failure! I ended up stabbing myself in the foot and throwing a fireball right into Calwyn’s face. He was not happy.”

“You should join us for a session sometime, Cosima,” Allen offers. “Isaiah is a pretty good DM.”

Cosima nods noncommittally. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Delphine standing at the entrance of the restaurant they were at. “Are you freaking kidding me?” She blurts out as she tries to cover her face with a hand.

The boys look over and see the blonde waiting to be seated.

“Maybe she’s the one stalking you,” Scott says jokingly. They watch her walk over to at a small table against the wall. She sits and runs a hand through her hair; she picks up the menu, not really looking at it.

“Should we invite her over?” Cosima asks, fully knowing that it’s a terrible idea.

“After getting my gerbil ass handed to me at study group? I don’t think what little pride I have left can take it,” Allen says.

They finish up their meal and pay. Cosima hangs back a little and whispers something to one of the waiters and points over to Delphine’s table, handing him something. She jogs over to catch up with the other two.

“What was that all about?” Allen asks, raising an eyebrow.

Cosima shakes her head. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit,” Scott challenges. “What did you just tell that waiter?”

Cosima sighs. There was no use trying to hide it. “I told him I’d pay for Delphine’s meal.” The boys groan and Allen rubs his temples.

“Jesus, Cosima, you’ve got it bad. Let’s get out of here before you pay for her tuition,” Scott teases.

“Do you think I’d be able to do that?”

* * *

They head back to Scott’s apartment and hang out for a little while longer until Allen says he has to leave, because, according to him, getting a full eight hours of sleep makes him more beautiful. He flips his non-existent long hair and leaves the apartment. Cosima sits a little while longer, avoiding the inevitable: that she would eventually have to leave and then she’d be left with her pre-sleep thoughts. Scott yawns involuntarily and stretches his arms out to his sides. Cosima takes that as a hint and gets ready to leave.

Scott stands up and opens the door for his friend. “Hey Cosima, I know you really like Delphine, but I just want you to be careful not to let it impair your judgement. And I know we just met, but you’re a cool person and you seem like you deserve some happiness.”

Cosima smiles warmly, but her eyes hold a sadness that Scott doesn’t quite know how to address. She puts a hand on his shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “Thanks, Scott. I appreciate it. I’ll be okay.”

She heads to the bus stop and waits for hers to arrive. Something that Scott said really struck a chord. _She deserves some happiness._ It’s a hard idea to believe when she’s spent most of her adult life wanting to please everyone and never taking the time to please herself. When she and Shay were together, the relationship started out normal enough. They had dinner together, went to movies, walked each other to class; Cosima got introduced to Shay’s friends, most of whom were musicians and she was welcomed into the group.

However, it didn’t take long for their routine to become _too_ routine for Shay’s taste. Cosima would want to stay in more often to study for upcoming exams, because she was so close to graduating. She didn’t want to mess anything up, but it started taking a toll. Slowly, gradually, the two of them spent less and less time together. Cosima would be in labs until late at night and Shay would be out at one of her friend’s shows or a bar. When they did spend time together, it was usually at someone’s apartment and they both had their faces buried in their laptops.

Cosima realized that she was mostly to blame for it; she didn’t try hard enough. She could have done more. When Shay asked to meet her at their usual bench in the quad, Cosima wanted to tell her that she was too busy, but Shay insisted. The look on her girlfriend’s face said it all. Shay’s eyes were sunken, she wasn’t smiling, and she didn’t kiss Cosima when she greeted her. Something was wrong.

Cosima sat down with a healthy amount of space between her and Shay. She watched as her girlfriend looked everywhere but at her, watched her fidget, watched her open and close her mouth each time she lost the nerve to speak.

“What is it, babe?”

The words that came out of Shay’s mouth next broke Cosima. She heard ‘I’m not happy’ and every other word melted before it reached her ears. She shook her head in disbelief. For the past few months, she was foolishly under the impression that their relationship was fine. Maybe they were a little more domestic than others, but she thought it was going well. They were talking about moving in with each other, talking about their future together after Cosima graduated.

_I still love you, but you I can’t do this anymore._

_I can’t do this anymore._

_I still love you._


	3. Delphinus

Cosima lies awake in her bed, an hour before her alarm is supposed to go off. She stares at the ceiling until Snoop walks over her face, meowing to inform her that it’s time for breakfast.

“All right, I’m up,” Cosima grunts. She slides out of bed, grabbing her glasses off of the table and feeds her cat, then heads to the bathroom for a shower. After she gets out and puts clothes on, she shoots a text to Scott, saying she’s heading to class early and asks if he wants her to bring him a coffee. He replies and says he’d love one.

Cosima rides the bus to campus and walks to the nearby café that she went to the day before; she orders a couple of coffees and walks back to class and waits outside while the class before hers finishes up. She drinks her hot beverage and nearly spits it out when she sees Delphine walk up and stand a few feet away from her. Without thinking, she holds out the other cup of coffee.

Delphine gives her an odd look, but takes the cup from her. “Merci _.”_

They sip their coffees together in silence until Cosima nervously breaks the silence. “I know it’s probably none of my business, but I’ve been noticing you’ve seemed kind of upset the last couple times I’ve seen you. If you need help with something, I totally will. And, like I said, it’s totally none of my business, so if you just want me to stop talking, just tell me.”

Delphine blinks a couple of times and continues to sip her coffee. Just as she’s about to say something, the doors to the lecture hall swing wide open and students pour out, causing a river of people to separate the two women. Scott and Allen walk up to Cosima and she has to explain what happened to his coffee. He gives her _that look_ – the one that basically says she’s already so, very, whipped. Cosima looks back to where Delphine was standing and she’s gone.

Cosima, Scott, and Allen walk into the hall and find their seats, Cosima sits on the aisle again. When Professor Leekie walks in, he asks everyone to hand their homework in and pass it to the end of the aisle. He walks up one side and Delphine walks up the other – Cosima’s side. Everyone passes their papers over to Cosima and she holds it up for Delphine to take, while looking down at her notebook and avoiding eye contact. She sees a small folded piece of paper get dropped on top of it. She looks back at Delphine, who is still walking up the stairs, gathering homework, not giving any indication that she left the note. Scott and Allen are talking to each other about something, so Cosima unfolds it and reads through it. The handwriting is very nice, written in cursive. It tells Cosima to meet at an address after class and there’s a phone number at the bottom. Normally, it would worry Cosima to go to a random address in an area she doesn’t recognize, out of fear of being abducted or murdered, but she looks up the address on her phone and it’s an immigration office in Oakland. 

Scott looks over Cosima’s shoulder and ask her what she’s doing. She covers the note and tells him that she’s looking up something for her mom. Cosima can’t pay attention to the lecture at all, but she’ll just get Scott’s notes later. After the lecture is over, Cosima races up the stairs, forcing Scott and Allen to chase after her.

“Hey, Cosima, wait up,” Scott yells after her. Cosima slows her pace slightly, so they can catch up. “We were going to head over to get some food if you want to come with,” he continues.

“Oh, I can’t. I have something I need to do, but I’ll catch you guys later,” Cosima replies, lying through her teeth. She waves goodbye to them and heads over to the BART station. She purchases a ticket to Oakland and waits for it to arrive. She contemplates sending Scott a text, in the event she does get kidnapped, but decides it’ll be fine.

A few minutes later, she starts second guessing herself. She has no idea what she’s doing or why. If this is for Delphine, they hardly even know each other. Why did women hold so much power over her?

She remembers when she and Shay started dating; Cosima would bend over backwards for her, always making sure Shay’s needs were met. Shay mentioned something random in passing? Cosima bought her a gift related to it. Shay said she liked a song? Cosima would make sure it was on her playlist, so she could learn the lyrics and they could sing it together next time it was on the radio.   

As far back as she can remember, Cosima had always wanted to please everyone she knew. She wanted people to like her, so she would crack jokes and go out of her way to make them happy. Her parents would always be off at some seminar or hosting a party and she would be left with family friends or other relatives while they were busy. A psychiatrist might say that her desire to please has to do with low self-esteem, which is rooted in her lack of parental attention, but really, she just really liked making people laugh. Seeing people smile and throw their heads black in laughter over something she said was the best feeling.

She missed that. Shay would always laugh at her jokes, no matter how stupid or nerdy they were. And now, she was following a woman to who knows where to do who knows what, because, why? Because she’s pretty? Cosima sighs and steps into the train that arrives. She finds an empty seat and squeezes into it.

The automated conductor announces the next stop and Cosima knows she has at least a half hour ride to the immigration office, so she spends the time doing what she does best and wonders what the heck she’s doing with her life.

Sure, Delphine was really attractive. _Really_ attractive. But she gave off no vibes, no inkling of being anything other than straight, no remote interest in her whatsoever. In fact, she always had an aura of disdain whenever Cosima was around. Besides, why would someone like Delphine ever want her? Cosima knew what this was about; she thought that if she somehow got Delphine to like her, or at least be friends with her, she wouldn’t be a complete loser. She would have something to show for her efforts.

But… what was she doing? Why did she feel the need to prove herself? And why did she need to go to an immigration office? Nothing she was doing made any sense.

In any case, Cosima decides she’ll do this one thing, whatever it is, and that’s it. She doesn’t owe Delphine anything. After today, she can go back to being an anonymous student, just a name on a completed test, a student number. She’ll complete the course and finish out the semester and graduate later that spring. Then, she’ll think about getting her PhD, or maybe she’ll get lucky and find a job right after graduation. A girl can dream.

When the conductor announces Cosima’s stop, she lets those dreams evaporate from her mind. She grabs her bag and slides across the bench, climbing over the person who sat next to her. Exiting the train, Cosima steps onto the escalator and ascends to above ground. She looks around to get her bearings. Using her phone’s GPS, she starts walking in the direction of the immigration office.

After walking for a good while, she arrives at the immigration office. She sees Delphine there already, leaning on a post and smoking a cigarette. When she sees Cosima, she flicks it to the ground and stomps it out with the tip of her boot and walks over to meet her.

“Thank you for coming,” she says with her arms crossed in front of her, as if she’s trying to make herself smaller. “I have an appointment in a half hour and I’m a little nervous.”

Cosima nods sympathetically. “It’s no problem. What’s the appointment for?”

“It is for my annual renewal, like a check-up.”

“Oh, well, then it should be a piece of cake,” Cosima assures her. Delphine gives a tiny smile and they walk into the building’s waiting room and sit down. When Delphine’s name is called, she and Cosima both stand up. They’re led into a small room by a man who introduces himself as Art Bell and sits at a desk across from them.

The room has posters littered across the walls, most of them promoting the United States or informing immigrants of their rights. There’s half full coffee cup on the desk in front of them, along with a photo of what Cosima assumes are Art’s daughter and wife. The air is filled with uncertainty and nervousness. Cosima wonders how many people have sat in that very chair and were told that they couldn’t stay.

Art looks through a file and keeps the women waiting in suspense before he finally speaks.

“So, Delphine, you’re in the States under a student visa. I don’t see a renewal application here.”

Delphine shakes her head. “Well, I’m almost done with my post-grad studies, so I was actually going to try and apply for permanent residency.”

“I see, and do you have a sponsorship lined up?”

Delphine shakes her head. “Not exactly.” She then grabs Cosima’s hand and brings it into her lap. “This is my fiancée, Cosima Niehaus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but it should start picking up from here. Frick yeah, fake engagement!


	4. Chamaeleon

“I’m your… “ Cosima trails off and looks over to her side. Delphine gives her a pointed look and Cosima clears her throat. “Yep. I’m her fiancée.” She smiles nervously.

_What is happening?_

Art looks at the both of them suspiciously and continues his line of questioning. “How long have you two known each other?”

Delphine answers, “I’m a teacher’s aide in one of her classes, but I’d seen her around campus before that - at rallies and the local coffee shop, or other places, for the past couple of years.”

Art nods, noting everything down. “And how long have you two been engaged?”

Cosima opens her mouth to speak, but Delphine cuts in, “We’ve been engaged for about six months, but we aren’t planning to have the wedding until after Cosima’s finished with her degree later this spring. We didn’t want the extra stress.”

“Uh-huh. Being a teacher’s aide and having a relationship with a student isn’t some kind of breach or conflict of interest?”

Cosima finally speaks, “Well, technically it is, but the two of us are very professional and don’t let our relationship affect our work at all. In fact, Delphine gave me a lower mark than I thought I deserved, so I had to go in and ask Professor Leekie about it. I work hard for my grades; I don’t need special treatment and I’m not getting any.” She clenches her jaw after remembering the whole stressful ordeal she had to go through to fix her grade. 

“Well, I’m not here to pick apart your grades, Ms. Niehaus,” Art replies. He continues writing notes down on his notepad. “Okay, here’s what’s going to happen: we’ll wait until you’ve completed your schooling before we have the actual interview. We’re going to need you both to submit Forms I-130 and I-485 along with all the necessary fees and documents before we proceed. Once we receive that, we’ll continue with the interview process.”

Cosima slaps her hands on her thighs. “Cool, is that it?”

Art nods and as Cosima stands up to leave, he says, “Make sure you get everything in as soon as possible, so the application process isn’t delayed.”

“Yep, sure thing. Let’s go,  _honey_. I have class.” Cosima rushes out the door and heads straight for the lobby door to exit the building. Delphine keeps up with her and Cosima whips around to face her as soon as they’re outside.

“What. The hell. Was that?” Cosima says, fuming.

Delphine lights a cigarette and her hands are shaking. “You said you wanted to help.”

Cosima scoffs. “Yeah, like, scaring off an ex-boyfriend or helping grade papers, or something, not lying to immigration officers about getting  _married_.”

Delphine shushes her and pulls her further from the entrance of the building. “I was desperate and you offered. I was supposed to have a sponsorship through Professor Leekie, but things fell through and I was going to lose my visa.”

Cosima shakes her head. “You realize this is ridiculous, right? How do you expect this to even work? We know nothing about each other. Do you even like me?”

Delphine takes another drag. “Liking you is irrelevant. This is strictly a ruse, so I can get residency.”

“Wow. So, you’re using me for a green card. Are you serious?”

“You know,” Delphine says, flicking the ash from the tip of her cigarette, “all I have to do is say you’ve cheated on a test and your entire grade gets thrown out. You may even get put on academic probation and have to take the entire class over, maybe not even be able to graduate.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re blackmailing me?”

Cosima couldn’t believe what was happening. Of course she would be fake engaged to a woman who just wanted to use her as a means to an end.  _Of course_  she would allow this to happen to herself. Normally, she only let it happen if a woman bought her a drink or smiled at her, but Delphine hadn’t done any of that. All she had to do was look sad and Cosima was ready to lie for her and risk getting thrown in jail.

It didn’t take long for Cosima to realize that she could spin this in her favor. Delphine needed her. Her parents were having their annual family gathering during spring break and she knew she would get bombarded with questions about her love life from relatives. If she had a fiancée this year, she would just have questions about how they met and about the wedding, which was far less embarrassing.

“All right, if I’m doing this, I need you to do something for me in return.”

Delphine listens intently while Cosima explains her plan to take her to visit her parents in Atherton, which was about an hour ride by BART to Millbrae and then one of her parents would pick them up and drive them the rest of the way. Delphine would pose as Cosima’s fiancée as normal; she would make nice with her family and make a good impression, answer the barrage of questions that she was bound to get. And, lastly…

“Hand me your cigarettes,” Cosima says, holding out her hand. Delphine hesitantly takes the pack out of her pocket and sets them in Cosima’s hand. “No more smoking; my parents will make it their life’s mission to tell you all of the negative effects of cigarettes.” Delphine starts to protest, but Cosima interrupts her, “If you absolutely have to smoke, I have other methods. You really need to loosen up, anyway.”

Delphine huffs and accepts her fate. Cosima was her best chance – her only chance – at staying in the United States. They take BART back to campus, so they can start packing and getting ready for their trek to Cosima’s parents’ house. While sitting in the train, Cosima checks her phone for the first time since she arrived in Oakland. She had eight texts – two from her parents asking when she would be arriving and the rest were from Scott, asking where she was and what happened to her. She quickly texts her mom back and said she would be there the next afternoon and would be bringing someone. After sending the text, she checks in with Scott and says she’s with Delphine and would explain everything later. She puts her phone away and looks ahead, watching a young couple embrace each other and feeling a sense of jealousy and bitterness boiling inside of her.

“I guess we should get to know each other, so we don’t seem like complete strangers, even though we basically are,” Cosima suggests dryly. She asks Delphine the usual questions you ask on a first date or when you’re trying to get to know your future fake wife. Through their mutual interrogation, Cosima finds out that Delphine lived just outside of Paris and her parents are still there. She moved to Canada when she was nineteen and studied in Toronto and moved to California for her postgraduate studies. She ended up at Berkeley after visiting the campus and falling in love with it and with the Bay Area, in general. Professor Leekie had taken her under his wing and been a mentor to her while she worked on her PhD.

Cosima wants to ask about Leekie, but she’s not sure she should. Delphine’s relationship with him is none of her business, but at the same time, she doesn’t want it to bite them in the ass later on.

“So, about Leekie, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there are rumors…” Cosima begins saying and allows Delphine to cut in.

“You want to know if we have a sexual relationship,” she answers matter-of-factly.

Cosima stammers, “Well, I mean, I wasn’t saying you did. I was just asking if you two were just colleagues, or, you know. It doesn’t matter to me either way. I just want to make sure he’s not going to expose you, or anything.”

Delphine looks at Cosima, mildly amused. “We have never had sex. He’s my mentor and that’s all he has ever been.”

Cosima nods. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. I didn’t believe the rumors.”

“What about you and Scott?” Delphine inquires.

Cosima looks at Delphine quizzically. “What about me and Scott?”

“You know he’s in love with you, right?”

Cosima scoffs. “No way! Wait, really?” Cosima supposes it could make sense. They had gotten very close in a short amount of time, and he always made her text when she got home safely. The realization dawns on her and her eyes widen. “Oh, my god.”

 Delphine laughs heartily. “Told you so.”

Cosima rubs the back of her neck. “Well, that’s awkward. In any case, we’re just friends and I am one hundred and ten percent gay.”

Delphine hums and shrugs her shoulders. “I see. Well, I’m not. I realize that sexuality is a spectrum and I’m perfectly fine if you are, but I’ve never been attracted to another woman before.”

After hearing that, Cosima laughs humorlessly. Now that it’s settled that Delphine is definitely just using Cosima for her citizenship, she lets the silence between them thicken into a fog of discomfort. It was foolish to think that there might be something more between them. Still, Cosima had a fraction of hope, which was a dangerous thing for her, and now that it was gone, she could just treat this as a business transaction. Delphine needed something from her and Cosima needed something from her. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement – at least, that’s what she kept telling herself the rest of the ride home.

When they arrive at the BART station near campus, they exit the train and walk out to the street. There’s still an awkward silence that follows them from inside the train. Delphine confirms that they’re going to meet the next day and head to her parents’ house together and Cosima nods. Delphine then makes sure Cosima still has her phone number and Cosima nods again.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” Delphine says, unsure where this rigid Cosima came from. Cosima answers affirmatively and they each go their separate ways. Letting out a big sigh, Cosima shakes her head and kicks herself for being such an idiot. She texts Scott to let him know she’s back on campus. He replies almost instantly and tells her to meet him at the student union. When she arrives, she sees Scott sitting at a table and joins him. She slinks into the seat and Scott looks at her with a furrowed brow.

“Hey, you okay?”

Cosima shakes her head and rests her head on her arms. “I really need a drink.”

“Well, I’m done with classes if you want to go somewhere.”

Cosima still had one more class to go to that day, but she really didn’t feel like sitting through an hour of biostatistics, because she knows all she’ll think about is how Delphine doesn’t give a rat’s ass about her. “Screw it, let’s go.”

They head over to a local pizza and brewery nearby and sit at the bar. They order a slice each and a tall glass of a local ale. When they get their pizza, Scott prods Cosima for more information about where she went and why she was with Delphine. She tells him the bare minimum: that Delphine is in trouble and may lose her visa, so Cosima was there for moral support. When Scott asks why Delphine asked her to go and not someone else, Cosima shrugs and said Delphine didn’t know very many people on campus, only other grad students and they mostly kept to themselves.

Scott doesn’t have any reason to distrust what Cosima is saying, so he accepts it as truth. They finish their pizza and as they’re about to pay, the door to the restaurant opens and Delphine walks in. When Cosima sees her, she angles her body away from the door.

“You’ve got to be shitting me. Is she following me, or something?”

Scott smirks. “I thought you two were besties now.”

Cosima playfully punches him in the shoulder. “First, never say ‘besties’ ever again, and second, we’re not friends. She needed help and I can’t say no to pretty women, so I went.”

A familiar French accent rings in Cosima’s ears. “Is this seat taken?”

Cosima slowly rotates her stool to face the blonde and puts on the best fake smile that she can muster. “No, not at all. Please.”

Delphine sits down and waves down the bartender. She’s about to order a glass of wine and Cosima interrupts her.

“Dude, no, what are you doing?” She orders the same thing that she and Scott had and watches Delphine sputter and look at her incredulously. “You’ll thank me later.”

When Delphine’s pizza and beer is placed in front of her, both Scott and Cosima stare at her with anticipation. She takes a bite and sips the beer; a smile appears across her face and nods in approval of their choice of food and beverage. When she’s done eating, they leave the restaurant and when they say goodbye to Delphine, the blonde says she’ll see Cosima when they go to see her parents the next day.

Scott looks at both of them, but waits until Delphine is far enough away.

“You’re taking her to see your parents?”

Cosima sighs and lowers her head. Delphine was ruining her life.

“It’s nothing, Scott.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.”

Cosima grabs him by the arm and they start walking back to campus. She explains the real reason why she went to Oakland with Delphine and that she agreed in exchange for being her date to her parents’ house, but didn’t mention that Delphine threatened her and her college career.

“This feels, I don’t know, highly illegal,” Scott says.

“Listen, Scott, you can’t tell  _anyone_  about this – not Allen, not anyone. I just have to keep this up for the next few months and then I’ll graduate and be on my merry way.”

“Uh, yeah, except you’ll also have a wife that you can’t stand.”

Cosima shrugs and waves her hand in the air. “Details.”

Scott shakes his head in disbelief and tells Cosima that there must be some kind of lesbian code of ethics that he just doesn’t understand, but he’ll support her and her decision. They arrive back on campus at the bus stop and they tell each other to have a nice spring break. Scott tells her to text him if she needs to vent about how Delphine hogs the covers. She laughs and says she will. She catches the bus back to her apartment and starts packing. She tells Snoop that they’re going on a trip and that he gets to come with her this time. After she’s all packed, she sends Delphine a short text, telling her when their train leaves and she’ll take care of the tickets.

Cosima climbs into bed and Snoop lazily circles the area around her feet before he curls up next to them. She finds herself staring at her ceiling yet again, wondering what the hell she was doing. It made sense in her head. She was helping someone in need, ignoring the fact that she was being forced into it against her will. Cosima had always wanted to get married, but when she and Shay broke up, she questioned her perception of relationships altogether. Did they get complacent too quickly? Isn’t that what a stable relationship was? Maybe they just weren’t meant to be together. Maybe fate, or whatever cruel entity, had bigger plans for her.  Maybe she was supposed to marry her TA and lie to immigration. In any case, it was too late to turn back.

Now, all she had to do was convince her parents that she and Delphine were in love. Easy.


	5. Andromeda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone. Thanks again for all of the support with this fic. I'm really glad you're all enjoying it. I've pretty much got this story completed - 17 chapters, plus an epilogue. Whew. I'll keep editing and posting 3 updates a week, so it shouldn't take too long to get the finished product to you.
> 
> I'm in the process of starting another multi-chapter story (if I can figure out where I want it to go) and a one-shot, so I'll keep churning stuff out after this one's over, or maybe at the same time, who knows?
> 
> If you have any suggestions/requests, let me know. I appreciate you all. :)

The next morning, Cosima showers and gets Snoop in his cat carrier. She wheels her small suitcase down the stairs and hops on the bus to the BART station. When she gets there, Delphine is already there with her two giant suitcases and a large shoulder bag. The bus parks and lets the passengers off. Cosima walks up to the blonde who is also incredibly overdressed.

“You know we’re only going to be there for five days, right?” Cosima says, pointing to all of the luggage.

Delphine shifts uncomfortably. “I didn’t want to forget anything.”

Cosima lets out a dry laugh and shakes her head. Their bus arrives and the driver helps them with their luggage. Delphine's takes over half the rack. It doesn't take them long to get to the BART station and once they retrieve their luggage, they head toward the train platform and wait for theirs to arrive. When the train pulls up, people shuffle off and the two women wait until it’s clear to board. Delphine has some trouble wheeling both suitcases on, so Cosima helps push one of them, while pulling her own and carrying Snoop in his carrier. They find a couple of seats with enough room to put their luggage and Cosima puts Snoop on her lap.

“Oh, who’s this?” Delphine asks while peering into the carrier.

“This is Snoop, short for Snoop Dogg.”

“Snoop… Dogg?” Delphine questions. Cosima nods and explains the pop culture reference. She then tells Delphine that she’s going to get her _so baked_ one day.

Delphine snorts and pokes at the mesh flap. “I have never had a pet.”

Cosima looks surprised. “Really? Never?” Delphine shakes her head. “How can you have a proper childhood without a pet?”

“My parents were always working and travelling, so we didn’t have time to take care of one. And when I was older, I was always busy with school.”

“That sounds like a terrible childhood,” Cosima jokes.

“I guess it was a little unconventional.”

A few minutes pass, and as Cosima begins having a conversation with Snoop, Delphine asks a question.

“Do your parents know about me?”

Cosima glanced over at the other woman. “Of course they do. They’re going to be thrilled that I’m bringing someone home, but they’ll probably put you through a thorough interrogation. My dad may even give you the ‘what are your intentions with my daughter’ spiel.

“And do they know...”

“They don’t know everything, Delphine. I’m not stupid.”        

Delphine nods slowly. The rest of the ride is fairly quiet. Cosima watches a young couple in the seats in front of them hold each other and whisper in each other’s ears. She felt sad - sad that she didn’t have that, but also sad that she wouldn’t have a chance to have that until after this whole Delphine debacle was over. There’s no way she can date someone and be legally married at the same time without being scandalized or trying to come up with a cover about being polyamorous.

Instead, she was stuck in a situation with a person who was threatening to ruin her college career all so she could continue living and studying in the United States. Cosima wonders why Delphine chose her; she could have chosen any desperate person, but Delphine chose her. Did she seem that desperate? Was she that much of a pushover? Did she have ‘sucker’ written on her student record?

The train pulls up to the Millbrae station and the two women stand up and gather their luggage and cat. The doors slide open and they step onto the platform. They wait for the elevator and shove their suitcases to the back and step in. Cosima feels her heartrate increase. She wasn’t nervous about seeing her family, but nervous about how they’ll receive Delphine. Her dad was always pretty perceptive, so she had to be really convincing about her fake love for her fake fiancée. 

They walk out to the parking lot and Cosima sees a familiar black BMW in the distance. She walks toward it and a tall man steps out. He has a large grin on his face and opens his arms wide open. Cosima steps right into the embrace and sets Snoop down on the floor, so she can wrap her arms around the man.

“Welcome home, Pea,” the man says. He looks up and smiles at Delphine warmly. “This must be the new fiancée. I don’t know how you were able to convince her to tie the knot, but I'm glad you did. I’m Gene, nice to meet you.”

Delphine steps up and smiles at the gentle man, introducing herself. She offers a hand and he swipes it away and gives her a big hug. Delphine allows herself to melt into the embrace; it had been a while since she was able to hug someone.

“Is Mom at home?” Cosima asks.

“She’s getting the house all ready. You know how she is.”

Cosima nods and laughs to herself. “Is she cooking enough food for a small army?”

Gene looks at her daughter and winks. “Of course. Hope you’re hungry, Delphine.”

Delphine nods an affirmation and they all climb into the car, Cosima taking shotgun and Delphine sitting in the seat behind her.

“So, Delphine, how long have you two known each other? We didn’t even know Cosima was engaged until she decided to call and let us know we would need to cook for one more.”

Delphine could feel a lump in her throat as she had to think of a lie quickly.

“Well, we have the same class this semester and I’ve seen her around campus a lot, since we are in the same field of study. So, I guess I’ve known of her for the past couple of years, at least.”

Cosima was impressed by the way Delphine was able to gracefully weave the elaborate lie. Was it true, though? Did Delphine know about her before Leekie’s class?

“We’d better not tell the engagement story without Mom here. She’ll have a coronary if she misses it,” Cosima jokes. Her dad chuckles and agrees.

The rest of the ride is spent with Gene hounding Delphine with questions, asking her about her studies and where she’s from, what her parents are like, if they’ve met his daughter, what she plans on doing after getting her PhD, things that Cosima should already know. With every answer, Cosima makes mental notes to remember things about Delphine’s life that she never bothered to ask about. While her father does a better job at conversing with Delphine, Cosima looks out the window as they drive by familiar shops and landmarks. It had been a while since she’s been home, usually too busy studying, but she always made a point to come back for spring break, since it was a big deal to her parents.

They drive down a long driveway and a large, two-story house appears in the distance. Delphine’s jaw drops when she sees the building; it was almost the size of an entire dorm building on campus.

“This is where you grew up, Cosima?” She asks in awe.

“Yep, only child with only the workers and a pet tortoise to keep me company while my parents were out gallivanting on the Galapagos Islands, or wherever.”

“Now, come on, Pea. We did all of that for you,” Gene replies.

Cosima rolls her eyes. “How is Darwin, anyway? He still kicking?”

“You bet. I built him a pen outside, so he has all of the grass he could ever want.”

Gene parks in one of the sections of the three-car garage and the engine cuts off. Delphine looks at the other cars parked next to them, all very expensive. Delphine steps out of the backseat and walks over to the trunk of the car, waiting for Gene to open it.

“Oh, Delphine, don’t worry about the luggage. Mark will grab it. Come, I want you to meet Cosima’s mother.”

As soon as Gene says that, a thin man with short, curly brown hair walks out to the car and starts unloading their luggage.

“Go ahead and take those to the guest house, Mark.”

The man nods and starts wheeling the suitcases around the back of the house. Cosima tells Mark to be careful with Snoop and he gives her a nod and pats the top of the carrier.

“The guest house? What’s wrong with my room?”

“Pea, your room only has a twin bed. Your mother has the guest house ready for the both of you – even changed the sheets, and everything,” Gene says with a wink and nudges Cosima’s arm. Cosima groans and rolls her eyes.

“Gross, Dad.”

They walk through the door in the garage that leads into the kitchen inside the house. It’s enormous and looks almost bigger than Delphine’s whole apartment. The marble countertops are covered with prepared food, or partially prepared food. A woman stands in front of the island in the center and she’s chopping something. The smell that wafts through the room reminds Delphine that she hasn’t had anything to eat all day.

“Oh!” the woman exclaims and drops what she’s doing to walk over to them. She wraps Cosima up in a very tight hug and peppers kisses all over her face.

“Hi, Mom,” Cosima mumbles and smiles.

Cosima’s mom takes one look at Delphine and rushes over to give her a big hug, as well. She only comes up to the blonde’s chest and she can barely move her arms, but she tries anyway and gently pats the woman on the back.

“This is my mom, Sally,” Cosima interjects. “Mom, you’re going to break her ribs if you squeeze any tighter.”

Sally releases Delphine and looks a little embarrassed. “Oh, apologies, it’s just been a while since Cosima has brought someone home.”

“Since Shay, right?” Gene confirms.

“Wow, okay, we are not talking about Shay,” Cosima interrupts and quickly changes the subject. “When are we eating? I’m starving.”

Sally walks back to the island and continues chopping. “In a little while, dear. You can have some salad now, if you’re hungry.”

Cosima wrinkles her nose and grabs a bowl from the cupboard. She hands Delphine one, as well. The blonde silently accepts the bowl and follows Cosima, feeling a little out of sorts being in the strange house with people she didn’t know, including her fiancée.

Cosima serves Delphine some salad and adds some to her own bowl. She grabs a couple of forks and motions toward the long kitchen table in the next room. They sit in seats adjacent to each other and leave Cosima’s parents to talk amongst themselves in the kitchen, most likely comparing notes about Delphine.

Cosima hunches over her bowl greedily eats the salad inside it. Delphine picks at the lettuce in her own bowl and daintily puts the fork in her mouth. The dressing Cosima’s mom used was a little sour, but also had a hint of sweetness, like a vinaigrette.

“So,” Delphine drawls, “who’s Shay?”

Cosima drops her fork in her bowl and it clangs against the side. She wipes her mouth with a napkin and swallows her salad. “She’s my ex.”

Delphine nods, moving the leaves of lettuce around with her fork, but not picking any up. “How long were you two together?”

Cosima pushes the bowl away from herself. “Look, Delphine, I’m not going to talk to you about Shay, all right? She’s off-limits. Let’s just convince my family how in love we are with each other and get through this week.” Cosima picks up her bowl and walks back to the kitchen to wash it, leaving Delphine by herself at the table. She hears a door open and close in the distance and she looks into the kitchen and sees that Cosima is gone. Sally looks over at Delphine with a concerned look and walks over to the table. She sits down and asks what happened.

Delphine shrugs. “I asked about Shay and she got upset.”

Sally nods. “Yeah, that was a tough break-up. Cos hasn’t really been the same since, but she seems happier with you here. Did you two not talk about her?”

Delphine shakes her head and lies, “No, she never really wanted to talk about it, so I just let it be.”

Sally places her hand on top of Delphine’s and pats it. “She’ll come around. Why don’t you come in the kitchen and help me finish up?”

Delphine gives her a grateful smile and stands up. She walks over to the sink to wash her dish and stands next to Sally, who hands her a knife and some carrots to chop. Gene says he’ll leave the girls to it and heads to his study.

The pair finish up their preparation and put everything into the oven. Sally dismisses Delphine and tells her to go see how Cosima’s doing; she’ll likely be out in the backyard with Darwin. Delphine opens the door that leads to the massive backyard. She sees the guest house in the distance with a small path that leads to it and there’s also trees that line the border of the property, as well as grass and other foliage. Cosima is sitting on the ground inside of a large wire pen, feeding a large tortoise some vegetables she swiped from the kitchen. Delphine slowly walks up to the edge of the pen and clears her throat. Cosima doesn’t turn around and sniffs, wiping her face with her sleeve and showing that she’s obviously been crying.

Delphine reaches to open the pen and waits to see if Cosima says anything. When she doesn’t, Delphine opens it all the way and walks in. She kneels down next to Cosima and the tortoise, but doesn’t say anything. The brunette wordlessly passes her a carrot and Delphine holds it up to the tortoise, who jerks its head forward to chomp on the tip of the vegetable.

“He’s kind of cute,” Delphine says, finally.

“He reminds me of Leekie,” Cosima replies. Delphine laughs heartily and sees Cosima crack a smile. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. I guess I wasn’t prepared for that talk yet.”

Delphine shakes her head. “You don’t need to apologize. I overstepped.” She figures that Cosima would talk about it when she was ready, _if_ she was ever ready. Still, it wasn’t any of her business; they weren’t actually engaged. Cosima didn’t owe her any answers, yet, she couldn’t help but want to know more about the brunette and her family. She’d never had a very close relationship with her parents and watching Cosima interact with hers made Delphine realize what she had missed out on.

“Why does your father call you Pea?”

“Gregor Mendel.”

Delphine wrinkles her forehead and then grins in excitement. “Ah! His pea experiments.”

Cosima nods and smiles back. “We’re a bunch of science geeks.”

Sally opens the door and yells out to the women that dinner is ready. They stand up and say goodbye to Darwin. When they get back to the house, there are a few more people there. Cosima’s shoulders slump; she completely forgot that her parents would most likely invite her relatives over.

She turns to face Delphine and introduces her to everyone. Cosima’s cousins Sarah, Helena, and Felix are sitting on one side, and her aunt, Siobhan, sits on the other side with two empty seats next to her. Cosima sits next to her aunt and Delphine sits next to Cosima. Sally and Gene begin bringing dishes out and lay them all across the table. Everything smells delicious and everyone talks amongst themselves about how hungry they all are. Gene hands Delphine the carving knife and tells her that the newest member of the family does the honors.

Delphine takes the knife from Gene, nervously, and begins cutting the roast. All eyes are on her and she makes the first cut, cutting fairly straight. The entire table applauds and Gene takes over from there.

“Your girl is a pro, Cos,” Sarah says gleefully.

Cosima looks over at Delphine and gives her a nod of approval. The rest of dinner is spent by everyone asking questions and Delphine answering them gracefully, completely keeping up with their lie.

“Who proposed to whom?” Siobhan asked.

Cosima and Delphine look at each other with vague horror in their eyes. They never actually decided on a story.

“I’ll, uh, let Delphine tell that story,” Cosima says, smirking. “Go ahead, _babe_.”

Delphine smiles tight-lipped and wipes the corners of her mouth with her napkin before placing it back on her lap. “Well, as you all probably know, Cosima isn’t the best at communication. We’d been discussing marriage off and on for a couple months, never really committing. I never knew if Cosima was ever serious about it. So, I started leaving little clues for her. I’d leave websites open with bridal shows that were nearby and would always look into windows of jewelry stores, but she never got the hint. She is not the most perceptive.”

Cosima cuts in, “Actually, that’s not exactly how that went. I totally knew what you were doing and was just acting like I had no clue. Remember the box I left you?”

“Oh, yes, the box that you glued little pictures from science magazines all over? It was so cute. It was tied shut with a little bow and when I opened it, I found a big, beautiful—“

“… fat nothing. Nothing was in it.”

“It actually had an address written on it to a hotel, the same hotel we stayed at the first time we had se—“

“… sectional couches - the first time we had seen them in a hotel.”

Delphine smiles endearingly. “Yes, and there were rose petals all over the bed and the floor, and Cosima was lying on the bed, completely nak—“

“… and then I proposed and she said ‘yep,’ the end. Who’s ready for dessert?”

After everyone finishes eating, they all move to the living room. Glen pulls Cosima to the side and whispers to her. “You okay, honey? Things feel a little tense.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Dad. I just forgot you were inviting everyone to dinner.”

Glen clears his throat. “So, uh, Delphine seems pretty great.”

Cosima nods. “Yeah, she is.”

“She mentioned the two of you have the same class?”

Cosima never could lie to her dad. “She’s… my TA.”

Glen processes what his daughter just said. “Hold on, is this the TA who graded that one test that you had to go complain about? I thought you hated her. Your mother almost drove all the way to Berkeley to yell at the Dean about it.”

Cosima shrugs. “I got over it.”

“Was this around the time you and Shay broke up?”

Cosima shuts her eyes. “Dad, please, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m just making sure you’re okay, Pea. You were really broken up about it; I just don’t want you to make the same mistake.”

“I’m fine, Dad. Delphine’s amazing, she’s nothing like Shay. This is different.”

Before Gene can continue scolding his daughter on romance, Delphine walks over to see what they’re discussing. She puts an arm around Cosima affectionately and the brunette feels her body stiffen.

“Hey, how about a big ol’ smooch, you two,” Felix announces as he taps his glass.

Cosima glares straight into Felix’s soul and nervously smiles at Delphine, who shrugs her shoulders. Cosima stands on her toes and pecks Delphine on the lips. Her family groans and tells them to show them a ‘real kiss.’ Cosima rolls her eyes and stands on her toes again, but this time, she leans in slower and tilts her head, gently brushing her lips against Delphine’s until they lock together. She hears Delphine suck in a breath and she doesn’t let it out until they separate. A look on Delphine’s face appears and Cosima isn’t sure if it’s surprise or horror, but figures out which one it is quickly after Delphine excuses herself to the restroom.

The rest of her family cheers and congratulates Cosima. They continue talking and when a while has passed and Delphine still hasn’t returned, Cosima makes her way out to the guest house. She opens the door and sees Delphine packing up all of the clothes that Mark put away in the dressers.

“What are you doing?” Cosima asks.

“This was a mistake, I shouldn’t be here. I’m going to go back to Berkeley tomorrow morning.”

“Wait, what? Why? We had a deal.”

Delphine continues throwing clothes haphazardly into her suitcase. “Well, the deal is off. I will figure something else out. You’re free.”

Cosima steps closer to Delphine, who walks right past her, back to the dresser full of clothes. Snoop sits on the bed and lazily watches them.

“Can you just stop and talk to me? If this is about the kiss, I’m sorry. Felix is an idiot. But also, you’re fake engaged to a woman, so you kind of should have seen that coming.”

Delphine pauses. “It wasn’t... I don’t like lying to your family. They don’t deserve it.”

Cosima scoffs. “Well, what did you expect? This was all your idea. You came to _me_ , threatened to fail me if I didn’t do what you wanted, and now that I need something from you, you bail? Typical.”

Delphine, facing the bed and away from Cosima, sighs and throws the article of clothing she holds in her hands into the suitcase. She turns to face Cosima. “I told you I was desperate. I didn’t know what else to do and you seemed...” She trails off.

“I seemed what? Lonely? Gullible? Look, I was doing perfectly fine before you came around. I didn’t ask for any of this. But now that we’re in it, and my family believes that we’re happy and in love, you’d better damn well keep your end of the deal. I’m not going through this again.”

Delphine furrows her brow. “Not going through what again?”

Cosima realizes what she’s said and shakes her head. “Nothing, nevermind. You’re not going anywhere.” She leaves the room in a hurry, feeling anger and sadness welling up in her chest and she didn’t want it to pour out in front of Delphine.

Cosima walks outside and leans against Darwin’s pen, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She hears footsteps behind her and cleans herself up.

“Sestra Cosima, we are missing you.” It’s Helena. The two of them were very close when they were growing up. She was like the sister Cosima never had and would spend summers at her house. Helena didn’t speak much, but it didn’t bother Cosima. She liked the silence, sometimes.

As Helena walks up, she sees that Cosima is upset and leans her head on the brunette’s shoulder. “Did pretty blonde make you sad?”

Cosima sniffles and shakes her head. “No, it’s my fault. I think this is all just too overwhelming for the both of us. I should have introduced her to the family slowly.”

“I will beat up pretty blonde,” Helena begins to leave. Cosima laughs and holds onto Helena’s arm.

“No, no, it’s really okay. Thank you, though. We’ll work through it.”

Helena stops and turns back around. “Then I will hunt down evil ex-girlfriend if Sestra Cosima wishes.”

Cosima laughs and shakes her head at Helena’s ridiculousness. She wraps an arm around the other woman’s shoulder and pulls her close. They eventually walk back into the house and Cosima comes up with some excuse for Delphine, saying she was tired from the trip and needed to lie down. People gradually start heading to bed. First, it’s Siobhan, and then Sarah and Felix, then Helena.

When Cosima is left with her parents, they all start cleaning up, clearing off the tables, washing the dishes, putting food away. Sally says she’ll wake up early to make breakfast. She says that she likes Delphine and as long as Cosima’s happy, that’s what’s important. Gene looks a little more concerned, but he also just wants what’s best for his daughter and if she thinks Delphine is the one, he’s happy for her.

Cosima hugs her parents goodnight and makes her way back to the guest house. When she opens the door, Delphine is lying on the bed, off to one side, and Snoop is curled up by her feet. Cosima tries to be as quiet as possible and takes out her pajamas and toiletries. She tiptoes to the bathroom and shuts the door.

She looks at herself in the mirror and almost doesn’t recognize the reflection she sees. How did she get here? How did this become her life? She changes her clothes, washes her face, and brushes her teeth. When she exits the bathroom, she grabs some blankets and a pillow from the closet and lays it on the floor, next to the bed. She climbs under the covers and clicks her tongue, calling Snoop down to her.

“Traitor,” she whispers when he doesn’t budge. Cosima takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, trying to relax enough to fall asleep. When it finally takes her, there’s movement on the bed. Delphine’s eyes open and she lets out a deep sigh. The emptiness on the other half of the bed feels endless and even though Cosima is only a couple of feet away, it feels like miles.

After Cosima stormed out of the room, Delphine knew that she was wrong for wanting to leave, for wanting to escape. She wasn’t used to having a family who cared as much as Cosima’s family did and it scared her. It scared her knowing that she would eventually have to come clean about their sham of an engagement and break all of their hearts.

Yet, being around people who cared felt good. She decides to make the most of this week and whatever happens afterwards happens. After she has her citizenship, they could end their marriage, or maybe...

No, Delphine pushes the thought out of her head. Cosima despises her and Delphine doesn’t blame her. She didn’t go about the whole plan in the best way by starting with a threat. Delphine just hoped that Cosima could forgive her eventually. Until then, she would go along with the original plan, keep her end of the deal - one day at a time. Delphine feels sleep overtaking her once more and she closes her eyes. She listens to Cosima breathing in and out and before she falls asleep completely, she whispers, “Bonne nuit, Cosima.” She hopes for a reply, but it never comes.


	6. Pavo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, but I'll post again on Monday. :)

When Delphine wakes up the next morning, the blinds are open and the sun shines through, illuminating the whole room. She blinks a couple times and looks at the area on the floor where Cosima was sleeping. The blankets and pillow are gone and Cosima is nowhere to be found.

Delphine gets out of bed and changes out of her pajamas. She leaves the guest house and starts walking toward the main house, where she hears a lot of commotion coming from inside and slowly opens the door. She’s surprised to see that everyone else is already awake and interacting with one another.

When Sally sees Delphine in the doorway, she greets her warmly and tells her to come in and sit. Cosima is at the stove, flipping pancakes and everyone else is either sitting around the table or standing near it. Delphine walks over and kisses Cosima on the top of the head. The brunette doesn’t acknowledge the sign of affection at all and continues cooking.

“Would you like some orange juice, dear?” Sally asks Delphine.

“Oh, do you have any tea?” she responds.

“Cos, turn on the kettle, would you?”

Cosima turns on the burner where the kettle sits and adds another cooked pancake onto the platter next to her. She picks it up and carries it to the table where everyone is sitting and they all cheer.

“All right, dig in,” Gene says. A flurry of hands reach for the bacon and sausage and eggs. Forks stab into the freshly cooked pancakes. Cosima walks back into the kitchen and Delphine wonders why she’s being so quiet. Surely, she can’t still be upset from the night before. After all, she did decide to stay.

The tea kettle starts to whistle and Cosima turns it off, grabbing a mug from the cupboard, along with all of the different types of tea that her parents keep. She pours the hot water into the mug and sets it on the counter in front of Delphine. The blonde whispers her thanks and chooses an herbal tea. When Cosima is about to walk past Delphine into the dining room, Delphine grabs her hand and holds her there.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. Let’s go eat,” Cosima answers dismissively. Delphine releases her hand and follows Cosima to the table. They sit down and Cosima grabs a plate and starts adding food to it. She hands it to Delphine, who smiles and thanks her, and gets another plate for herself.

“How’d you two sleep?” Sarah asks.

“Well, Cos looks like a zombie, so I’m guessing they had a late night,” Felix says with a chuckle. Siobhan gives him a smack on the back of the head.

“You look beautful, kitten,” Siobhan says.

Cosima smiles back at her. “You guys know I’m not a morning person.” She looks down at her plate of food, but doesn’t have much of an appetite.

Helena hovers above her plate, like she’s afraid someone might take her food. She has a slice of bacon in one hand and a sausage link in the other. “Breakfast is most important meal of the day. Eat.” She points at Cosima’s plate of untouched food with the sausage.

Cosima picks up her fork and starts to nibble on a soy sausage link while Delphine shoots her a concerned smile. Cosima returns the smile briefly before her father interrupts by saying he needs to go out and fix one of the fences and asks Cosima to help him. Sally offers to take Delphine into town to look around while the two of them work. Siobhan says she and the kids will head into town later.

Gene and Cosima leave the house to get working and Sally and Delphine head into town. Sally parks and they exit the car and start walking. Antique shops and local restaurants adorn the street and it’s quite a bit different from Berkeley. Things in the college town feel a lot more squished together and gets a little claustrophobic.

Sally takes Delphine to a bookstore and the jingle of the bell on the door rings as they walk in. The elderly lady behind the counter gives Sally a big wave. Delphine smiles politely and looks around while Sally greets the employee. There are rows and rows of books, some that look very old. She slides her fingers down the spines of the books and stops at one that catches her eye,  _Charlotte’s Web_.

“That was Cosima’s favorite book growing up,” Sally says as she walks up behind Delphine. “She was obsessed with animals and wanted to live on a farm, like Charlotte.”

Delphine flips through the pages and holds onto it while the two of them browse the rest of the store. When they’re ready to leave, Delphine purchases the book and they leave the bookstore. Sally asks Delphine about her studies and about her life, because Cosima never mentioned her, presumably because she didn’t want to jinx it.

As they walk down the street a little further, Delphine tries to ask about Cosima and Shay again, now that the two of them are alone. Luckily for Delphine, Sally loves to gossip and thinks that Delphine really should know.

“They were engaged, Shay and Cosima. I remember when Cos called Gene and I to tell us, she was so excited. I had never heard her that excited before in her life. She was talking about the proposal and how Shay reacted and wanted me to go with her to pick out a dress. And when Shay broke it off, it completely dismantled Cosima. She stopped calling us, rarely came home. She just dove headfirst into her schoolwork and didn’t do anything else.”

Delphine frowns after hearing the story. She didn’t realize that Cosima and Shay had been that serious, but it wasn’t like she could have known. A wave of guilt filled her, because she felt that this fake engagement was doing almost the same thing to Cosima. It wasn’t real. She didn’t even think to consider the impact it would have on Cosima.

The ride back to the Niehaus residence is quiet; Sally checks in with Delphine to make sure she slept comfortably and Delphine tells her that the guest house is very nice, omitting the fact that Cosima slept on the floor. When they get back to the house, Delphine excuses herself and says she’s going to take a quick shower.

Meanwhile, Cosima and Gene are finishing up the repairs to the fence. They take one last look at their handiwork and head back toward the house. Cosima spends a few minute talking with her mom and asks about her excursion with Delphine. Sally says they had a nice time getting to know each other and laying on the guilt that Cosima never brought her around before now.

Cosima ignores her mother’s scolding and then remembers she left some tools out by the fence, so she puts her earbuds back in and goes to get them. After fetching the abandoned tools, she heads straight for the guest house and with the music blasting in her ears and doesn’t hear the shower running. She starts taking her clothes off to get herself ready for her own shower and bobs her head to the beat of the music.

As Cosima reaches for the handle to the door that leads to the bathroom, it swings wide open and she’s faced with a very wet, very naked woman.

“Holy shit!” Cosima turns away immediately, but not fast enough to avoid seeing more skin on Delphine’s body than she’d ever planned on. Delphine screams and slams the door shut. Cosima rips her earbuds out and throws a towel from the closet around herself.

“Uh, Delphine?”

Silence.

“I’m sorry, I had my headphones in and didn’t hear the shower.”

More silence. Cosima presses her ear up to the bathroom door and a quiet voice comes through.

“I left my towel on the bed.”

Cosima turns around and sees the aforementioned towel and picks it up. She gives a couple warning knocks and cracks the door open just enough to squeeze her arm through. Delphine grabs the towel and Cosima shuts the door.

“I’m gonna give you some privacy,” Cosima says as she dresses herself again and shuts the door behind her, loudly enough, so Delphine can hear it. Her heart is racing and the embarrassment she feels makes her want to jump into the San Francisco Bay. Though, she had to admit that Delphine has a really nice body. She shakes the inappropriate thoughts from her head and rushes back to her parents’ house.

About ten minutes later, Delphine walks into the house, fully clothed, and hair still damp from the shower. She walks over to Cosima and her parents, doing her best to avoid eye contact with the smaller brunette.

“You must feel much better,” Sally says joyfully. “Are you hungry? We made some sandwiches for lunch.”

Delphine looks at the array of sandwiches and smiles at them. They used croissants and wondered if they did that on her behalf. She grabs a turkey and cheese croissant and takes a small bite out of it. The flaky and buttery croissant tastes delicious. She thanks Gene and Sally and takes her sandwich to the dining room table. Cosima picks up her own sandwich and follows.

The two of them sit down across from each other and silently eat. Cosima swallows down her food and looks at Delphine, who is only paying attention to her lunch.

“I’m really sorry about before,” Cosima says.

Delphine shrugs. “Do not worry about it.”

They finish eating without a single word and Delphine stands to take her plate to the sink. She offers her hand, so Cosima can hand her plate over, as well.

“Oh, you don’t have to wash them. I can do it.”

Delphine shakes her head, “I can manage.”

Cosima silently watches Delphine walk to the kitchen and shakes her head, chastising herself for not paying attention while in the guest house, because now Delphine wouldn’t even look at her. Cosima’s phone buzzes and she takes it out of her pocket. Scott texted her and asked how things were going. Cosima answers, telling him that her parents seem to love Delphine, but she’s not sure how long she can keep up with the lie. Scott tells her she’s got this and it’s only for a few days. Just as Cosima is about to reply back, Delphine walks back in. She has her arms crossed in front of her and she’s looking at the floor.

“Is everything okay?” Cosima asks.

“Yes, I’m a little tired. I think I’ll go take a nap.”

Cosima nods. “Okay, do you want me to wake you up for dinner?”

Delphine looks up, but doesn’t meet her eyes, and gives a small nod. She takes her leave and, not a minute later, the front door of the house bursts open as Siobhan, Sarah, Felix, and Helena stroll in. They were off running their own errands and had arms full of shopping bags.

“Hey, Cos!” Felix yells out, dropping his bags to the floor. “Where’s Delphine?”

“She was tired, so she went to take a nap.”

Felix pouts. “Sarah and I were going to take her out for some drinks.”

Cosima laughs. “Why? So you can interrogate her more?”

Sarah cuts in, “Well, we need to make sure this one is good enough for you.”

Cosima rolls her eyes. She knows they mean well, but their meddling is what got her in trouble with Shay. She wasn’t even thinking about proposing until she had a conversation with Sarah and Felix about never committing to anyone long enough to even consider marriage. When she went out to pick the ring, she found a blue diamond that matched Shay’s eyes perfectly. Then, seeing the tears flow out of those very eyes when Cosima asked Shay to marry her made Cosima realize that she was ready.

But, apparently, Shay wasn’t.

And that hurt. To be so sure of something, to want something so badly, only for it to be taken away with three words, was devastating.

_I’m not happy._

So, here she was again, lying to herself, lying to her parents. She and Delphine were engaged, so the Frenchwoman could continue living in the United States. Then what? After they get married, which may not happen for months, if not years, what happens afterwards? What happens until then? Cosima wonders if they’ll have an open relationship. They never really discussed the finer details of their arrangement.

Cosima tells Sarah and Felix that maybe Delphine would be up for going out after dinner and that she would ask. They cheer and leave Cosima alone with her thoughts. She’s about to stand up when her phone starts to ring. The phone number that shows up is one she thinks she recognizes, but not one of Cosima’s existing contacts. She answers the call and hears a familiar voice on the other end - a voice she didn’t think she would ever hear again, a voice she didn’t think she would ever  _want_ to hear again.

“Shay?”


	7. Crater

“Shay? Why are you calling me?”

“Well, hi to you, too, stranger.”

Cosima’s frustration and annoyance comes through in her voice. “What do you want, Shay?” She looks around and realizes that her family is still around the house, so she sneaks outside and walks out to the backyard.

Shay sighs through the phone. “I miss you.”

“No,” Cosima snaps. “You don’t get to do that. You left  _me_ , remember? I was ready to spend my life with you and you left. I haven’t heard from you in almost a year and you think you can just call me out of nowhere and everything will be fine again?”

“No, I didn’t think everything would be fine immediately, but I wanted to apologize for everything that happened between us.”

Cosima laughs incredulously. “Now you want to apologize, almost a year later. Okay, I forgive you. You’re absolved. Now you can leave me alone forever.”

“Come on, Cos, don’t be like that.”

Cosima winces at the sound of her nickname rolling off of her ex’s lips. She wants so much to be able to just hang up the phone, but something is stopping her. She isn’t sure if it’s her curiosity or her masochism preventing her.

“Can we meet up? I know you’re at your parents’ house for spring break, but maybe after you get back? Please.”

Cosima hated how Shay knew how to play her. Shay knew exactly which buttons to push and also knew that Cosima couldn’t say no to people.

Cosima takes a deep breath. “Fine. I’ll let you know when I’m back.”

She hangs up and when she’s about to head back to the house, she spots Delphine, leaning on the side of the guest house.

“Hey, sorry if I woke you,” she says, unsure of how much of her conversation Delphine actually heard.

“That was Shay?”

Cosima clears her throat. “Yeah. She, uh, wants to meet up when I get back.”

Delphine nods, pensively. “And are you going to meet up with her?”

Cosima shrugs her shoulders. “I guess, just to see what she wants.”

Now Delphine has her arms crossed and she’s standing up straight. Her forehead is wrinkled and her lips form a frown. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Why, are you jealous?”

Delphine scoffs. “No, of course not. What you do is none of my business, but if you plan on going out with your ex-fiancée, just remember our deal.”

Cosima pauses and narrows her eyes. “Who told you we were engaged? I never told you that.”

Delphine was caught. She mentally kicked herself for being so careless. “Your mother, when we went out earlier.”

Cosima grinds her teeth. “That’s just great. She had  _no_  right.”

Delphine looks down at the ground. “It... it was my fault. I asked her to tell me about the two of you.”

Cosima opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. She storms past Delphine into the guest house and slams the door behind her. She falls onto the bed face down and lies there. Snoop meows and joins her.

Delphine sighs and wonders if she should follow, but decides against it and gives Cosima some space. She walks into the main house, where Sarah and Felix are having a fashion show of all the new outfits they purchased earlier that day.

“Oh, Delphine! Come look,” Felix says while motioning her over. They pull her over to the living room and have her sit on the couch. Felix twirls around and shows off his ensemble.

“Well, what do you think?”

Delphine smiles. “I think you look very handsome.”

Felix beams. “Hey, did Cosima tell you that Sarah and I want to take you out for drinks?”

Delphine shakes her head.

“Well, we are, so go get ready,” Sarah announces. Delphine tells them that Cosima is sleeping and doesn’t want to disturb her, so between Sarah and Felix, they find an outfit for Delphine to wear.

“Perfect,” Felix says with a chef’s kiss.

The three of them head out to a nearby bar and sit in a corner booth. Felix slides out to go order their drinks. He comes back with three shots for all of them and runs back to grab a pitcher of beer and three glasses. They pick up their shots and clink the tiny glasses together and throw them back, contorting their faces into grimaces at the taste. Delphine thinks that Sarah and Felix are a lot of fun, nothing like the stuffy grad students she’s always around. They continue drinking, each taking turns picking their next beverage. Delphine feels her walls coming down a little; she was nervous coming into the bar, but was feeling more comfortable being around Cosima’s relatives.

“So, Delphine, what are your intentions with Cosima?” Sarah asks.

Delphine tilts her head. “What do you mean?” She remembers that Cosima said her father might ask her this question, but didn’t expect it from Sarah.

“I mean, Cosima goes from not mentioning you to any of us to being engaged to you. Just seems kind of sudden.”

Felix elbows Sarah playfully. “Come on, Sarah, don’t bust her balls. Just because you’re terrified of commitment, it doesn’t mean everyone is.”

“Piss off,” Sarah says, smiling. “I’m just looking out for Cos, that’s all.”

Delphine takes a sip from her glass to quench her dry throat. “Well, I love Cosima very much. It’s true that our relationship did move quite quickly, but I am one hundred percent committed to her. I want to be with her. I’m… I’m not going anywhere.” She hoped that was enough for them; she nearly convinced herself.

Sarah gives her a skeptical look and then nods, holding up her glass. “All right, I believe you. Just don’t break her heart, otherwise we’ll have to kill you, yeah?” Delphine lets out a sigh of relief and clinks her glass against Sarah’s and they drink.

Cosima lies on the bed, wiping stray tears from her face. She’s so angry with her mother for telling Delphine about Shay. She wasn’t exactly sure why she was so angry, but she guessed that it was because the information wasn’t given on her terms. And now that Shay was back in her life and wanted to see her, she didn’t know what to think. Everything was so confusing; she had one woman who only wanted to use her and then she had another woman who left her. She didn’t understand why no one ever wanted to stick around or why people never wanted her for who she was.

A knock at the door shakes her from her intrusive thoughts.

“Go away,” she says quietly, but without much fight. The door creaks open and she hears footsteps walking up. She prays it’s not Delphine. The bed shifts and someone lies down next to her. She looks into the hauntingly beautiful eyes of Helena, who looks at her with concern.

“Now you want me to beat up pretty blonde?” she asks.

Cosima laughs. “No, it’s okay.” She sits up and Helena does the same. Snoop crawls over both of them and settles in behind Helena’s legs. She sniffles and rubs her eyes with both hands. “Shay called me.”

“I will beat up tiny blonde.” Helena gets up to leave and Cosima grabs her wrist and makes her sit down again.

Cosima shakes her head. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Helena. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to have the fairytale life – find someone, fall in love, get married, live happily ever after. But things don’t work out like that.”

Helena sits with her back on the headboard and lets Cosima vent.

“Do you still have the feels for tiny blonde?”

Cosima thinks for a minute. After Shay broke up with her, all she did was wish that she’d hear the door open and Shay would walk through it, apologizing, wanting to get back together. When it never happened, Cosima had to accept that it was over between them. She had to force herself to move on. She went on dates with other women, slept with a couple, but no one ever stuck.

“I don’t think I do. I just want closure. She owes me that, at least.”

Helena hums. She leans her head on one of her hands and taps her chin with her finger. “And tall blonde? You have the feels for her?”

Cosima feels more tears prick the corner of her eyes. She whispers, “I don’t know.”

Helena takes her other hand and pats Cosima’s knee. “Sestra Cosima, you smile much when she is around.”

Cosima holds her breath, trying to hold in her sobs. “I do?”

Helena nods. “She also looks at you with puppy dog eyes when you are not looking.”

Cosima looks up at Helena. “She does?” Helena nods again.

Cosima shakes her head. She refuses to believe that Delphine harbors any real feelings for her. She’s just making their engagement believable for her family. She knew that’s what it was, because that’s exactly what Cosima was doing – at least, she thought she was. She had to admit, though, whenever she caught Delphine’s gaze, it did give her butterflies. But, no, women like Delphine didn’t happen to women like Cosima. Delphine was straight, as far as she knew, and she couldn’t allow herself to think otherwise.

Cosima checks the time on her phone and it’s almost time for dinner. She and Helena leave the guest house and head to the main house to see what’s cooking. About a half hour later, Delphine, Sarah, and Felix stumble through the front door, singing some song at the top of their lungs. Delphine sees Cosima and her smile gets wider.

“Hello, ma chérie!” She makes her way across the living room, wrapping Cosima in a big hug, and gives her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Cosima, confused by the term of endearment and the kiss, glares at Felix and Sarah. “Okay, what did you guys do to my fiancée?”

“We got her wasted!” Felix says, throwing his hands up in the air triumphantly and twirling around.

“Blondie can definitely hold her liquor,” Sarah quips.

Delphine leans most of her weight on Cosima, who does her best to hold her up. “Okay, let’s get you sobered up before dinner.” She walks Delphine through the kitchen and grabs a cup of water. They walk out to the guest house and Cosima tosses Delphine gently onto the bed and Cosima lays the glass on one of the end tables.

“Mmm, come here,” Delphine says sleepily while pulling Cosima onto the bed next to her. Cosima lands next to Delphine and faces her. She takes a deep breath and examines Delphine’s face. The blonde has her eyes closed and her breaths are even. Cosima brings up a hand and runs it through Delphine’s hair, brushing the curls behind her ear. She smells like a combination of alcohol and whatever fruity shampoo she uses. Delphine moans contentedly and scoots closer to Cosima, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her close, nuzzling her face into Cosima’s chest.

Cosima’s heart starts pounding through her chest and she’s certain that Delphine can feel it. They lie like that for a while and when Cosima opens her eyes again, it’s gotten dark. She checks her phone clock and it’s way past dinnertime. She rubs Delphine’s back.

“Hey, sleepyhead, we missed dinner.”

Delphine groans and shifts her body. Her eyes flutter open and it takes her a second to realize where she is and who she’s with.

“Merde, I’m sorry.” Delphine sits up and stretches her arms over her head.

“It’s fine, we’ll probably just have to warm it up.” Cosima stands and grabs the glass of water. “Here, you’re gonna need this.”

Delphine gratefully takes the glass and sips it. The two of them walk to the other house and open the door. The kitchen is quiet, but they can hear voices coming from the living room. Cosima peeks inside and all eyes turn to them.

“There they are,” Gene announces.

“Did you two have a nice ‘nap’?” Felix asks with an obvious wink. Siobhan smacks him upside the head and he yelps.

“Sorry we’re late,” Cosima says with an embarrassed grin.

Sally puts her hands on each of their shoulders. “Come into the kitchen. I’ll make you both a plate.” They follow Cosima’s mother back into the kitchen and sit around the breakfast bar, waiting for their dinner. Cosima steals glances at Delphine, who sets her hand on the brunette’s knee. This amount of comfort is foreign between the two women, so Cosima isn’t sure what to make of it, but she doesn’t move. Sally places two plates in front of them and hands them silverware; she then pours them fresh glasses of water. Cosima picks up her fork hesitantly and waits for Delphine to start eating before she begins.

“This is delicious, Mom,” Cosima says with a mouth full of food.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, dear,” Sally chastises her.  Cosima swallows it down and grins sheepishly. Delphine gives her an amused smile. They finish eating and clean up, then join the rest of the family in the living room, where they’re playing a game.

“What is this?” Delphine asks.

“It’s Agricola!” Cosima says enthusiastically. “One of my favorites. You have to build up your house, family, and farm and get more resources than anyone else. See Helena, she has the most livestock and fences and those little circles are her family members.”

“She’s cheating!” Felix exclaims.

Sarah snorts. “You’re just mad that you have the least amount of stuff.”

Helena points to the circles. “I have many babies.”

Delphine leans in closer to get a better understanding of what each piece means and reads the cards on the table. Cosima feels a smile form across her face at the scene before her.

“Here, Delphine, take my place,” Siobhan says and stands up, so Delphine can sit in her seat. She links her arm into Cosima’s and pulls her aside.

“How are things, love?”

Cosima shrugs. “They’re great. Why do you ask?”

Siobhan raises her eyebrow. She’s always had the ability to read people better than anyone and Cosima  _hated_  it. It’s how Helena always seems to know what people are thinking before they know it themselves. Both of them are incredibly empathetic.

Cosima sighs. “Shay called me. She wants to meet up after I get back to Berkeley.”

Siobhan makes a disapproving sound. “Ah. Well, you know how I feel about her, but I trust your judgement. Just be sure to protect your heart.”

Cosima chuckles. “I know, S. I’m just going to get the closure she owes me and that’ll be it. I can finally close her chapter and move onto the next one with Delphine.”

Siobhan nods curtly. She watches as her children play the tabletop game with Delphine, like she’s one of them. They’re teasing each other and laughing. She didn’t know what to make of the Frenchwoman at first, and her main concern has always been Cosima’s happiness, but this one seems genuine. She isn’t trying to leave as soon as possible the way Shay did the year before.

Helena jumps up and drops all of her little wooden pieces all over the table and claps her hands together.

Cosima laughs. “I take it Helena won?”

Felix pouts. “I still say she cheated.”

They clean up the game and go get ready for bed. Gene tells Cosima that he and her mother have a surprise for her and Delphine and to be ready early. They say goodnight and Cosima starts to walk back to the guest house and stops in her tracks when she feels a hand grab hers and fingers interlock with her own. She looks up at Delphine, who has a soft smile on her face and it causes Cosima to smile back at her.

“Today was fun,” the blonde says.

Cosima laughs. “Well, yeah, between being drunk off your ass and playing a board game, it was a pretty good day.” Delphine bumps her hip into Cosima playfully.

“I really like your family,” Delphine says, almost sadly.

“Yeah, they like you, too – even Sarah, and she doesn’t like anyone.”

Delphine smiles even wider. When they get to the guest house, Cosima lets Delphine get ready for bed first. She lays down her blanket and pillow on the floor. When Delphine is finished showering and doing her nightly routine, Cosima takes her things into the bathroom to get ready for bed. She comes out and prepares her makeshift bed. She climbs into it and lets out a deep breath. She closes her eyes and a voice from above her calls out.

“You don’t have to sleep on the floor, you know.”

Cosima gulps, the lump in her throat not moving. She gets out from under the covers and tentatively walks toward the bed. She slides in as quickly as possible and pulls the sheets up to her chin, making sure she’s on the very edge. Out of the corner of her eye, Cosima sees Delphine turn on her side, facing her. Suddenly, the queen bed felt much smaller.

The room is silent with only the faint sound of breathing that can be heard. Cosima’s eyes are wide open, terrified of falling asleep before Delphine and snoring, or shifting her body to roll on top of her. Snoop saves her and curls up between the two women and when Cosima hears Delphine’s deep, even breaths, she’s convinced that the blonde is asleep. She takes the opportunity to turn her head and look at Delphine’s face in the moonlight.

She’s always thought that Delphine was beautiful, but seeing her sleeping next to her, with the moonlight hitting her face just right, is a whole different level of beauty. Unable to resist the urge, she reaches over and strokes Delphine’s cheek, which causes a light moan to come from the other woman. Cosima jerks her hand back out of fear of being caught and exhales deeply. She finally closes her eyes and pushes down the feelings that are threatening to emerge, pushing them back down deep within herself.

This isn’t real; it’s just a business arrangement.


	8. Vela

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone. Here's today's chapter. I also have a Halloween one-shot I'm hoping to finish by this afternoon, so keep an eye out for that.
> 
> As always, thanks so much for reading and leaving comments/kudos.

_Meow._

_MEOW._

Cosima groans and blinks a few times. She reaches over to the end table and grabs her glasses, placing them on her face. Snoop is on the ground, pacing around and meowing.

“Hey buddy, you ready for breakfast?”

Cosima looks over at the opposite side of the bed. Delphine is lying on her side, facing away from her, still asleep. After feeding Snoop, the brunette checks her phone; it’s still early enough to take a shower, so she gets her clothes ready and heads to the bathroom. Delphine stirs after hearing the shower turn on and reaches across the bed. Cosima’s half is still warm, but it’s empty. She opens her eyes and realizes that Cosima is the one in the shower and she’s on the bed in the guest house.

After Cosima finishes showering, she realizes she forgot her toothbrush in the room, so she wraps a towel around herself and walks out. Her breath hitches when she sees Delphine’s bare back as she pulls a fresh shirt down her torso.

She clears her throat. “I, uh, forgot my toothbrush.”

Delphine whips her head around and pulls her shirt down as far as it will go. She walks around the bed to Cosima’s bag and grabs her toiletry bag, handing it to the brunette. Cosima thanks her and heads back to the bathroom, but keeps the door cracked open to ventilate it.

She begins to get dressed, thinking she’s out of sight, but forgets about the mirror on the wall. Delphine looks through the cracked open door curiously and sees Cosima’s nude reflection and gasps, feeling her face flush. She puts her shoes on and goes to the main house, where Cosima’s parents are already up. A pot of coffee is ready to go, so Delphine pours some into a couple of mugs. She adds sugar and creamer to one of the mugs and takes them back to the guest house, Gene winking at her as she leaves.

By the time she gets back, Cosima is dressed and ready to start her day. Delphine hands her a mug and Cosima accepts it graciously. She sips the hot liquid and hums in appreciation.

“How did you know how I take my coffee?” She asks.

Delphine grins. “I pay attention.”

Cosima snorts and continues drinking her coffee. They make their way back to the house and greet everyone. The kitchen smells delicious; Gene is making custom omelettes for everyone.

“It smells wonderful,” Delphine says while she takes a seat at the breakfast bar. She can’t remember the last time she felt at home somewhere, but this was getting pretty close. Gene flashes her a toothy grin and slides the omelette out of the pan and onto a plate.

“Onion, sausage, and grape jelly ready!”

Delphine wrinkles her nose at the mention of jelly and Helena races up to take her plate. She thanks “Mr. Gene” and joins her siblings at the table.

“What’ll you have, ladies?” He asks the pair of latecomers.

“Just soy sausage, and cheese for me, Dad.”

Delphine starts to feel nervous. She doesn’t know what ingredients they have, so she just orders the same thing as Cosima, who gives her an odd look.

When they’re finished, Gene hands them their plates and they join the others at the table. Gene reminds them that they need to leave within the hour, so get a move on.

Delphine cuts a chunk of the omelette with her fork and brings it to her mouth. She hesitates and then digs right in. She’s never had soy sausage before and she’s not sure how she’ll like it. She takes one bite and she hungrily eats the rest. Cosima watches her with sincerity and Delphine sees the brunette’s attention on her. She blushes and smiles while wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“It’s really good.”

Cosima lets out a sharp laugh and nods in agreement. They finish their breakfast and clean up while they wait for Sally and Gene to get ready. Siobhan and her kids are all packed up and ready to head home. Cosima hugs them all and gives Helena an extra kiss on her temple. Delphine also hugs them goodbye and thanks them for being so welcoming. When Sally and Gene descend the stairs, they all help pack up the van and Siobhan pulls Delphine aside.

“Not to put any extra pressure on you, but I haven’t seen Cosima this happy in months. I’m glad she’s found you.”

Delphine smiles sweetly. “I am lucky to have her. She’s been... the best thing to happen to me in a very long time.” She was telling the truth. Delphine hasn’t felt this level of appreciation and belonging in a while and it was all thanks to Cosima, even though it was under false pretenses.

Siobhan smiles back warmly and squeezes Delphine’s arm. “We’ll see you soon, chicken.” The nickname that appeared to be used exclusively for family members being given to her nearly made Delphine break down where she stood. She watches as they all pile into the van and Cosima comes to stand next to her as they wave goodbye.

“Okay, everyone, let’s shake a leg!” Gene exclaims while holding an ice chest. Sally follows behind him with a second ice chest.

“Where are we going?” Cosima asks.

“Your father wants to take the boat out, so I thought we could make a day out of it. Here, hold the wine.” She shoves two bottles of wine into Cosima’s arms as Gene backs up the truck. They tie down their supplies in the bed of the truck and climb in.

Delphine’s body vibrates with excitement; she’s never been on a sailboat before. Cosima watches her and instinctively reaches out to hold Delphine’s hand that’s lying flat on the middle seat between them. At first, the contact surprises Delphine, but then she squeezes Cosima’s hand back. They arrive at the marina and walk past different boats, some covered, some not. When Gene and Sally stop in front of one particular boat, Gene removes the tarp and starts folding it. Delphine notices the name painted in cerulean blue on the side. _Geek Monkey_. She chuckles lightly at the name, remembering that Cosima called her family a bunch of geeks a couple days ago.

The women climb aboard as Gene helps them up. He unties the boat from the dock and pushes off. Cosima stands behind the steering wheel and turns the ignition on. The anchor gets lifted up and Delphine watches everything in awe. The boat reverses out into the body of water and when they’re far enough out, Gene starts untying the knots holding the ropes for the sails and raises the large triangles up their lines. The wind immediately slaps against the fabric and the bobbing of the boat reminds Delphine of the times she and her family went fishing. She hated it and thought it was boring, but she liked being on the water.

“If you get seasick, my mom brought some medicine,” Cosima yells over the sound of the motor. Gene walks up to her and tells her to go sit with her fiancée. Cosima makes her way to the rear of the boat, where Delphine and Sally are sitting. They already have glasses of wine in their hands.

“Isn’t it a little early for wine?” She asks with a smirk.

“I’m French, it’s never too early for wine,” Delphine retorts with a smirk of her own. Cosima laughs and sits down next to her, placing an arm behind Delphine on the edge of the boat. The wind whips their hair against their faces, but the cool air feels good on their skin. Being on the boat was always one of Cosima’s favorite things. Her dad taught her how to sail and, even though it wasn’t a skill she used regularly, it was always something she prided herself in.

While Cosima reminisces, the engine of the boat cuts out and the waves rock them gently. Gene steps away from the wheel and joins the rest of the group. He opens one of the ice chests and grabs a mineral water, which opens with a sizzle of carbonation.

“It’s been a while since we’ve been out here,” Cosima notes. She slides her hand to gently touch Delphine’s shoulder, hoping the move doesn’t make her uncomfortable. When the blonde woman moves closer to Cosima, she smiles internally. She’s been noticing that they’ve been touching a lot more – nothing sexual, just general mannerisms and gestures. She supposes that in order to sell the idea that they’re engaged, they would need to have some sort of intimacy between each other, but she didn’t know that it would feel so natural.

Cosima’s phone buzzes on the seat next to her and she picks it up and looks at it. She frowns when she sees there’s a text from Shay.

_Just wanted to say ‘hey.’ Hope you’re having a good time at your parents’ place. Tell them I said hello. Can’t wait to see you._

Cosima scoffs at the message. Shay lost the right to her parents when they broke up. She ignores the message and throws the phone down. Her change in posture wasn’t lost on anyone else on the boat.

Gene does his best to cut the tension. “So, Delphine, do you or your family sail?”

Delphine shakes her head. “Non, although, we did used to take fishing trips in the summer. I always hated it, having to bait the hooks with disgusting things and sitting there and waiting.” She smiles thoughtfully. “But it was the only trip we took as a family, so I learned to appreciate it and began to miss it when we stopped going.”

“And how is grad school going?” Sally interjects.

“It’s going very well, thank you,” Delphine answers. “I’ve been writing my dissertation on host-parasite relationships and I am a TA for Cosima’s Molecular Immunology class to earn a bit of money.

Cosima freezes and watches her mom’s reaction. Sally gives a tight-lipped smile and looks at Cosima with a knowing look. She regrets ever telling her parents about that class. She can already picture their next conversation. _It’s highly unethical to be engaged to your TA. What if she shows favoritism? You’ll fail the class and have to retake it, which will delay your graduation. And isn’t she the one you were complaining about a few months ago? How did you go from despising her to wanting to marry her? What were you thinking?_

 Thankfully, neither one of her parents say anything more about it and Sally goes below deck to prepare their lunch.

Cosima clears her throat and pours herself a glass of wine. Delphine raises her eyebrow.

“I thought it was too early for wine,” she jokes.

“Can’t let you two have all the fun,” Cosima shrugs. Gene excuses himself to go help Sally with lunch, leaving Cosima and Delphine alone.

“Who was the message from?” Delphine asks as she takes a sip of her wine.

Cosima shakes her head noncommittally. “No one, it was nothing.”

“Cosima, I know we don’t know each other that well,” Delphine whispers, “but I want you to be able to talk to me. We’re still friends, no?”

Cosima hears the word ‘friend’ again and reacts in a way she didn’t expect to. She paces around the boat, speaking in harsh whispers, “Are we? I couldn’t tell between you threatening to fail me and basically forcing me into this situation. Now, I’m lying to my entire family about you and my ex-fiancée decides that she wants my forgiveness after over a year of not speaking to me.”

Delphine sits without saying a word, surprised by the sudden outburst. She wants to pull Cosima into a hug, but knowing fully well that she would not allow it. Instead, she reaches out for Cosima’s hand and holds it. Cosima stands still and chokes back tears. She hated getting emotional, because it almost always ended with her crying, and she hated crying even more. She takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, it was Shay. She always knows how to get a rise out of me.”

“When we get back, I think we should talk,” Delphine suggests. She rubs her thumb across the brunette’s knuckles softly. Cosima looks down at their hands and nods. Gene interrupts them and climbs back up with a plate of sandwiches. Delphine releases Cosima’s hand and sits back.

“Did I come out at a bad time?” Gene asks, looking at the two women standing awkwardly in front of each other.

“Not at all,” Delphine replies with a polite smile. Sally walks up afterwards with a bowl of salad and some plates. She begins doling out smallish portions and handing them out. The girls take their plates and Gene offers them sandwiches, which they also take. Cosima stands up and offers her hand to Delphine, who looks at her with confusion.

“Come, I want to show you something.”

Delphine takes the hand and follows Cosima to the front of the boat. There’s enough room on the bow for them to sit and they do so. Cosima dangles one leg over the edge and bends the other, so her arm can rest on her knee. She take a bite of her sandwich and places it back on the plate.

“When I was younger, we would take the boat out at night and Dad would wait for it to get dark. I’d lie on top of the bow here and just watch the stars. If we were lucky, there would be a meteor shower and we’d watch shooting stars for hours.”

Delphine listens intently, grateful for Cosima’s glimpse into her childhood. “That sounds lovely.”

“We could… I mean, if you want… come out one night.”

Delphine smiles warmly. “I would love to, Cosima.”

Cosima continues munching on her sandwich, trying to temper the guilt she feels about how she reacted earlier. She offered the stargazing as a sort of olive branch and was relieved when Delphine accepted. Still, she knew she owed the blonde an apology. Regardless of their situation, she had no right to snap at the woman who was offering her friendship.

“I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. It wasn’t fair to you.”

Delphine shakes her head. “It’s fine. This is a complicated situation that I have caused. You have every right to be upset.”

Cosima sighs and rubs the back of her neck. “Still, I should try to make the most of it.” A mischievous smile forms across her face. “I think I have an idea for tonight.”

Delphine raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Remember when I said I was going to get you baked?”


	9. Ara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some recreational drug use at the end of this chapter, just to throw out the warning.

Gene parks back at the marina and drops anchor while Cosima hops out to tie the boat up. Everyone else steps out and walks back toward the car. They drive to the house, talking about science things, new studies that are out and the last seminar that Gene and Sally went to. Delphine found herself wishing that Gene and Sally had been her parents, rather than her own. Her parents never understood her love for science if she wasn’t going to use that knowledge to become a medical doctor. To them, research meant giving up. It was lazy. _Why don’t you become a_ real _doctor?_

They pull up to the house and Gene parks in front of the garage, so they can easily unpack the truck. After they’re finished putting things away, Gene and Sally say they’re going back into town to buy some groceries, but tell Cosima and Delphine to stay at home and rest. Both women retreat to the guest house and Delphine sits on the corner of the bed while Cosima tends to Snoop. She smiles at the tenderness that the brunette shows the feline. When she’s done, Cosima walks over to the bed and sits on the opposite corner.

“So, you said we needed to talk?” Cosima asks while fumbling with her hands.

Delphine clears her throat. “Oui. I think it’s about time we discussed this… arrangement. I know I put you in a difficult position and I am sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. But I think this can work out for the both of us. I have put some thought into it and I know that you and I aren’t tied to each other in any official sense. We only have to trick immigration into thinking we’re engaged, yes? So, until then, we can be in a, what is it called, open relationship.”

“An open relationship?” Cosima repeats, not sure she heard correctly. She remembers thinking about this herself.

“Is that not what it is called? You and I can see whomever we wish, but are still engaged.”

Cosima pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose and thinks about what to say. This is what she wanted, isn’t it? To be able to live her life without having to worry about this fake engagement? No, she wanted Delphine to want her in the same way she did, but now that it seemed to be off the table, she didn’t have any interest in seeing anyone else. And what about Shay? Could they reconcile? Did Cosima want to? Thoughts race through Cosima’s head and she can’t keep anything straight.

“Fine,” Cosima says curtly.

Delphine sits up straight, confused by Cosima’s abruptness. She thought she’d be overjoyed. “Did I say something offensive?”

Cosima scoffs. “Delphine, tell me something. If you’re straight, why did you choose me? You could have found any desperate dude on campus to take my place as a husband. Any guy would have jumped at the chance to marry someone like you. Why me?”

Delphine lowers her head, pangs of guilt stabbing her chest, making it hard to breathe. “Believe me, Cosima, if I had known about your past with Shay, I wouldn’t have.”

“That’s not answering the question.”

Delphine hesitates and then takes a deep breath. “I… I saw the way you looked at me in class and I could tell you had a crush on me.”

Cosima narrows her eyes. “So, it was because you knew you could use me. You knew I’d be an easy target. I’m such an idiot.”

Delphine reaches out to grab Cosima’s hand, but the brunette pulls away. “Cosima, please. That may be how it was at the beginning, but it is no longer the case. After actually getting to know you, I’ve come to genuinely enjoy your company. You are an incredible person.”

Cosima laughs humorlessly and shakes her head. “You really expect me to believe that? Come on, Delphine. You used my feelings to get what you wanted. This? Us? It’s all a lie. You and I aren’t friends, we aren’t anything to each other. Let’s not pretend it’s anything more than what it actually is.” She waits for Delphine to respond and when she doesn’t, she gives an exasperated sigh and leaves the guest house, letting the door slam behind her.

Delphine is left alone with the silence of the room, her bottom lip quivering. She shuts her eyes tight and feels the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. Her body convulses as sobs push through her chest and she covers her mouth with her hand to stifle them. She doesn’t know how things got so fucked up. A few months ago, she was nearly done with her dissertation and was going to have a job with Professor Leekie, who promised to take care of her visa, and when that fell through, she felt lost. She couldn’t go back home and see the disappointed looks on her parents’ faces.

And now, she’s ruined any chance of friendship with Cosima. She wasn’t even sure if what she wanted was friendship. The stolen glances, the innocent touches, seeing Cosima look up at her and smile, made her feel things that she’d never felt with any man. She didn’t know what any of it meant. She’d hoped that by reiterating that she and Cosima were friends, it would convince herself that the feelings she felt were the same she felt for any other female friend she had.

She doesn’t hear the door open through her sobs and it isn’t until she feels a hand run through her hair that she’s startled back into reality. Cosima looks down at her with concern and Delphine throws herself into the brunette and wraps her arms around her torso. Cosima lets Delphine cry and she holds her there until the blonde’s body stops shaking.

“I’m sorry,” Cosima whispers. “It feels like all I do is apologize to you. I’m sorry I’m such an asshole.”

Delphine shakes her head while still holding onto Cosima. “You don’t need to apologize to me. This is all my fault.”

“Technically, it’s this country’s fault for having such terrible immigration laws, but I get what you mean.”

Delphine laughs and wipes the tears from her face. Cosima rubs her back consolingly.

“Why don’t you wash up and meet me in the house when you’re ready? I think my parents just got home. Then I’ve got a surprise for you after dinner.”

The blonde nods and heads to the bathroom to wash her face and Cosima leaves the guest house. When Delphine walks next door, Cosima is sitting in the kitchen with her parents, who are preparing another delicious meal. Sally calls over to Delphine in the doorway and tells her to join them.

“We were just reminding Cosima about the time we saw a sea lion swimming next to the boat and she jumped in to try and catch it.”

Cosima sticks her tongue out at her mother. “If you guys had paid for my swimming lessons like I asked, I totes would have caught it.”

Delphine lets out an amused laugh and lazily drapes her arm around Cosima’s shoulder. She’s surprised when Cosima puts her arm around her waist and pulls her closer. When dinner is ready, they all set the table and sit down. Even though she loved the house being full, Delphine is grateful that it’s only the four of them tonight. The intimate setting is much less hectic. They eat their meal, sharing stories and, much to Cosima’s dismay, take turns embarrassing her. After the meal, everyone helps clean as per usual and Cosima excuses herself and Delphine to the backyard. A fire pit sits off to the side with chairs and a loveseat set around it. Cosima tells Delphine to grab a blanket from the guest house while she sets everything up.

Delphine finds a thick blanket in the closet and takes it out to the fire pit. Cosima is tossing a starter log into it and gathering other wood to set next to it. The blonde takes a seat in the loveseat and throws the blanket over herself. The spring air is still chilly in the evenings, but it’s not too cold. Cosima starts the fire and stokes it. The red and orange flames reach up higher and higher, trying to grab the stars that are just starting to emerge in the darkening sky.

Cosima takes the seat next to Delphine and puts the blanket over her lap. She looks into the flames for a while, the fire reflecting off of the lenses of her glasses. Then she takes something out of her pocket and grabs the lighter from the edge of the pit.

“This is your surprise,” she says, showing her a pre-rolled joint. “I’m actually really surprised that you haven’t been having nicotine withdrawals since I took your cigarettes.”

Delphine laughs in amusement. She lifts her sleeve and shows a square nicotine patch on her arm. “I didn’t want to risk being grumpy around your parents.”

Cosima nods, impressed by the blonde’s foresight. She puts the joint between her lips and lights it, taking a few puffs and holding the smoke in before exhaling. “Have you ever smoked weed before?”

Delphine shakes her head. “No, only cigarettes. I have always been curious to try.”

“Okay, well, it’s similar, but you don't want to take long drags. And you gotta hold it in your lungs before you exhale, then let it out when you feel the need to cough. Here.” She passes the joint to Delphine, who puts it between her lips and puffs. When she holds in the smoke, it makes her chest burn and she has a coughing fit, handing Cosima the joint back. Cosima smiles. “Yeah, that happens. Hang on, I brought water.” She hands Delphine a bottle.

Delphine takes the water and takes a few sips. Her chest still feels warm, but she’s stopped coughing. They continue taking turns smoking and Cosima leans her head back on the sofa.

“Are you feeling anything?” She asks.

Delphine’s head feels foggy and her body is relaxed. “I think so.”

Cosima hums. “Good. Anyway, congrats on popping your weed cherry.”

The blonde chuckles and her eyes feel heavy. She looks over at Cosima who takes the last couple of puffs of the joint before putting it out. She’s not sure if it’s the high, but she can’t look away from the brunette.

Cosima catches her looking and smiles sheepishly, looking away from the heated gaze. “Is everything okay?”

Delphine nods, focusing on Cosima’s mouth. She brings a hand up and brushes her thumb across the brunette’s bottom lip. She leans in slowly, and when Cosima doesn’t move, she presses her lips gently onto the other woman’s. Cosima closes her eyes and feels Delphine opening her mouth to deepen the kiss and it breaks Cosima out of her haze. She pushes Delphine away gently.

“Whoa, hey. Maybe the pot is working a little too well.”

Delphine blinks and realizes what she’s done. She covers her mouth with her hand. “Merde. I’m so sorry, Cosima.”

“It’s okay. It was just, you know, it didn’t mean anything.”

“No, it’s... I’m sorry.” Delphine stands up and walks briskly back to the guest house, feeling that familiar pain welling up in her chest.

Cosima sits in front of the fire and wonders what the hell just happened. In any normal circumstance, she would have been thrilled to have been kissed by a woman like Delphine, but the combination of them not being sober and Delphine being incredibly straight made her less than excited about it.

She sighs and wonders when it will be safe to go into the guest room. She almost convinced herself to sleep on the couch in her parents’ house, but doesn’t want to come up with an excuse when they find her there the next morning.

“Shit.”

The sound of the shower turning on comes from the guest house, so Cosima assumes that Delphine will be going to sleep soon. When the guest house is quiet for a while, Cosima puts out the fire and heads back. The light is out, so she figures it’s safe. Like every night, Cosima does her nightly routine and, even though she and Delphine shared the bed the night before, she figures she’d better sleep on the floor.

She lays the blanket on the ground and gets her pillow from the closet. As she takes off her glasses and lies down, she can’t stop thinking about kissing Delphine. Her lips were amazingly soft and as much as she wanted to keep going, she knew that it was wrong and she felt Delphine knew it was a mistake, too. Cosima didn’t want to be someone’s experiment. She didn’t want Delphine to ‘try her out’ only to realize that she was, indeed, straight.

Nights like these were the worst; thoughts keeping sleep out of reach when all she wants to do is forget this evening ever happened. She had no idea how to react in the morning, but figures she’ll put the ball in Delphine’s court. When sleep finally takes her, she whispers goodnight, but never hears the sniffles coming from the bed above her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all don't hate me after this chapter. :(
> 
> If you haven't read it yet, please check out my Halloween one-shot here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16478060
> 
> See you back here on Monday!


	10. Phoenix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of the new readers and readers who've stuck around. We're a little over halfway through the story and I'm still trying to figure out what to write for the next one. I started one, but it's not coming as easily. If you have any suggestions/requests, let me know.

When the Snoop alarm starts meowing at exactly 10:00am, Cosima groans and rolls onto her sore back. She definitely needs to find an alternate mattress. Snoop rubs himself against Cosima’s arm and she sits up, placing her glasses on her face. She looks over to the bed and it’s already made, no one else in sight.

Cosima grabs a hoodie and throws it over her head. No sound is coming from the house, but she peeks in, anyway. Nothing. She checks the garage next and the cars are still in there. The only other place they could possibly be is the front yard. She makes her way there and when she opens the door, she sees her father mowing the lawn and her mother and Delphine are knee-deep in potting soil. They’re planting the season’s bulbs, which is something Sally made Cosima help with, but she appears to have been replaced.

The image of Delphine and Sally planting together makes Cosima’s eyes start to water. Shay never had the inclination to get that involved with her parents to this degree, but this woman, whom she barely knew, was already involved way more than she had ever imagined. She thought that, even if they end up having to tell the truth about the two of them, at least the memories would be good ones.

“Cosima!”

The sound of her name snaps her out of her sentimentality. Delphine jogs up to her and grabs her hand, dragging her over to the flowerbed.

“Look what your mother and I have accomplished.”

There are rows of bulbs planted with a newly installed drip system, so they didn’t have to stand there and water them every day.

Cosima raises her eyebrows. “Wow, you did all of this this morning?”

Delphine nods proudly. “Next, we’re going to make a vegetable garden, so your mother can feed Darwin all of his favorites.”

Cosima looks up at the blonde, who is radiating with excitement. She tentatively reaches for a hand and gives it a little squeeze and Delphine squeezes it back. The brunette curls the corner of her mouth into a smile.

“Come on, you two. Let’s get cleaned up and head into town for some brunch.”

Cosima and Delphine head back to the guest house, where Delphine starts to throw her dirty clothes into a pile on the floor. They would have to do laundry at some point.

Cosima sits on the edge of the bed and turns away from the blonde while she undresses. “Do you want to talk about what happened last night?”

Delphine looks up briefly and sees that Cosima isn’t looking at her. “Nothing happened.” She pads across the room in only her underwear and walks into the bathroom, leaving the door cracked open.

“Seriously? We’re not going to talk about it?” Cosima asks, the irritation rising inside of her.

Delphine replies by turning the shower on and Cosima throws her hands up in frustration. If Delphine wasn’t going to talk about the kiss, she was going to have to take extreme measures. She’s not sure what those extreme measures are, but she’ll figure it out.

Delphine stands underneath the scalding water and braces her hands on the shower wall. She _kissed_ Cosima. What was she thinking? She couldn’t blame the pot, because she knew what she was doing, and she wasn’t blackout drunk. She had no good excuses for her actions, only that she looked at Cosima sitting next to her and wanted to kiss her, so she did. She slaps her hand against the wall and her tears mix with the shower water falling down her face. She can’t possibly have these feelings – feelings that have always been reserved for men – for another woman. It didn’t make any sense to her.

As a scientist, she understands that bisexuality and other sexualities exist, but she’s never considered them in regards to herself. She’s always been with men, always been attracted to men – before Cosima, anyway. Her parents never discussed homosexuality with her; they pretended it didn’t exist and she had to learn about it through films or books.

Never in a million years did she think she would find herself in a situation like this. Since she was a little girl, she pictured her life as any child would. She would find her Prince Charming, they would fall in love, get married, have a lot of kids, and grow old together, but life obviously isn’t a fairytale. And now, Cosima was a wrench thrown into her gears, breaking everything down, including her own perception of herself. It was all too confusing and overwhelming, but she was stuck there for the next couple days. She could always feign illness, but she knew that would upset Cosima.

She finishes showering and dries herself off and double checks to make sure the door is closed enough that the mirror won’t be visible. With the towel wrapped around herself, she wipes away the condensation from the mirror and looks at her face. Her eyes are still a little puffy from crying. She sighs and gets dressed and completes her routine. When she walks out of the bathroom, Cosima is lying on top of the bed, staring at the ceiling. Delphine lies down on the other side of the bed and stares at the ceiling with the brunette.

Neither one of them say a word, just feeling the warmth radiating from each other’s bodies.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Delphine whispers, choking back more tears.

Cosima turns her head to face the blonde. “Do what?”

“ _This_. I’m… I’m not supposed to be a homosexual, or bisexual, or... I don’t know who or what I am.” The tears begin to fall freely down her cheek. Cosima turns on her side and rests her head on her hand, fully facing Delphine.

“Hey, look, you don’t have to decide anything right now. You don’t have to give it a name, you don’t have to come to any conclusions. You can take your time. People are constantly evolving; I’m not the same person I was yesterday and I won’t be the same person tomorrow. And if you want me to give you some space while you figure everything out, I can do that.” Cosima rubs Delphine’s arm consolingly. Even though she always kind of knew who she was in regards to her own sexuality, she knows how scary it can be.

Delphine shakes her head and turns her body into Cosima’s, allowing the brunette to wrap her up in her arms.

“It’s going to be okay,” Cosima breathes reassuringly into the blonde’s hair and tightens her grip.

Delphine pushes herself away. “We need to go have brunch with your parents.”

“We can cancel. I’ll tell them you’re not feeling well.”

Delphine shakes her head. “Non, we should go. Let me wash my face and we’ll go.”

Cosima watches Delphine get up from the bed and mentally kicks herself for only being able to think about how good Delphine smells. When Delphine emerges from the bathroom, they head over to the main house, where Cosima’s parents are already waiting. They head to the Niehaus’ usual brunch spot and find a table outside. It’s a quaint little bistro with a patio where people sit with their dogs. Cosima had been trying to leash train Snoop, but he was having none of it. The waitress walks over to take their orders and walks away.

“So,” Sally begins saying, looking at the two other women, “your father and I have noticed that neither one of you are wearing engagement rings.”

Cosima knew this was going to come up sooner or later. They hadn’t had time to buy fake engagement rings.

“Yeah, they’re just so heteronormative, mom. Delphine and I are less conventional. Plus, the diamond industry is horrible.” They were all terrible excuses that Sally wasn’t going to let slide.

“But you and Sha—,“ Gene starts saying before he gets an elbow in the gut from Sally.

“What your father means is, we can help you if money is an issue. Or, if you want to have Grandma’s ring, you’re more than welcome to it. It has opals and sapphires in it, so no blood diamonds.”

“Mom, no, it’s really okay. We don’t need to—“

“I actually brought it with me.” Sally digs through her bag and opens a small coin purse, pulling out a beautiful ring. “Here you go, dear.” She hands the ring to Cosima. “We can go have it fitted if need be.”

Cosima clears her throat and doesn’t want to make her mom feel bad, so she gives Delphine an apologetic look and offers her hand, so the blonde can set hers on top of it. Delphine does so and watches Cosima slide her grandmother’s ring on her finger and her emotions overwhelm her and she feels her chest heave and she breaks down for the second time that morning.

“Oh, honey,” Sally says as she gets up from her chair and embraces Delphine. Cosima rubs her back consolingly and watches Delphine cover her face with her hands. Delphine takes a few deep breaths and is able to calm herself.

“Je suis désolée. I don’t know what came over me,” she says, wiping her tears away with her napkin.

The waitress waits until everyone is settled before bringing their dishes. She lays them in front of each person and leaves. The rest of the meal is upbeat and Gene does his best Jack Nicholson impression, which is actually pretty terrible, but it makes everyone laugh.

On the way home, they stop and buy some vegetable seeds and more tubing for another drip system. Sally buys some gardening gloves and another shovel for Delphine to use. Gene gets some fencing to put around their future garden and Cosima twiddles her thumbs and feels a little useless. When they get back to the house, Sally and Delphine get right to work and start tilling the soil next to Darwin’s pen and Gene starts to measure out planks of wood for the fence’s frame. Cosima stands back and watches the events take place and doesn’t realize that she has a wide grin across her face.

“What are you smiling about, Pea?” Gene asks, standing next to his daughter.

“Nothing, it’s just…” she take a breath, “I’m just really glad you guys like Delphine.”

Gene chuckles. “Yeah, she’s great. I might trade you in for her.”

“Hey!” Cosima exclaims. After a few seconds pass, she leans against her father. “Dad, I need your help with something.”

After everyone is done gardening, Delphine takes her second shower of the day and Cosima takes that opportunity to continue carrying out her plan. She leaves a note in the middle of the bed and runs next door. Her parents are rushing around the kitchen to get everything ready. Cosima goes upstairs to find one of her dad’s blazers and puts it on. It doesn’t go with her outfit at all, but she didn’t bring anything nice to wear.

Delphine finishes showering and gets dressed. She walks out of the bathroom and sees the room is empty and is a little disappointed. Cosima usually waits for her. She sees the note on the bed and opens it.

_Meet me outside. Wear something nice._

She quirks her eyebrow, but does what the note says. She didn’t bring any formalwear, either, but she puts on a long, flowy, skirt and a wool sweater. She makes her way outside.

“She’s coming!” Gene yells throughout the house after seeing the door of the guest house open. Cosima rushes outside and stands next to a table they set up with candles. Delphine sees this and smiles wide.

“What is this?”

Cosima’s breath hitches when she sees Delphine. She didn’t know it was possible to find her more beautiful than she already was. She pulls one of the chairs out. “Would you like to join me for dinner?” Delphine sits down and Cosima pushes the chair in and sits in her own chair.

Gene walks out of the house with a bottle of wine and a dish towel over his arm. “Would you care for some wine?” Cosima nods and he pours into her glass. He directs his attention to Delphine. “Mademoiselle?” Delphine laughs lightheartedly at his horrible accent and nods. He pours wine into her glass, as well and takes his leave.

Delphine leans in close to the brunette. “Cosima, what is all of this?”

Cosima raises her glass and shrugs. “I wanted to do something nice, and considering we’re engaged and haven’t gone a single date, I took the opportunity to fix that. To fake engagements.”

Delphine raises her own glass and taps it against Cosima’s, taking a sip of the red wine.

“This is delicious.”

Cosima sips her own glass. “Yeah, my parents have a wine cellar and they have a bunch of different stuff down there.”

“You know, never told me your parents were rich.”

Cosima snorts. “When would I have had time to? Before or after you threatened to fail me?”

Delphine clears her throat. “Fair enough.”

“And they’re not rich, they’re well-off.” Cosima argues, fully knowing that’s what rich people say. Her parents never acted rich, though. They had earned all of their money through teaching and their research, but taught Cosima that working hard is important. She took it to heart, which is why she studied so much. She only wanted to make her parents proud of her without taking any handouts.

Sally comes out with a couple of plates and sets them in front of the two women. The food smells delicious and it reminds Delphine of her meals at home. Her mother is a wonderful cook, but it’s been so long since she’s had her mother’s cooking and this was the next best thing.

They eat while bantering back and forth. They talk about everything from their classes to what they wanted to grow up to be when they were children. When Cosima tells her that she wanted to be a farmhand or a veterinarian, Delphine stands up suddenly.

“I completely forgot, I have something for you,” she walks toward the guest house and returns a minute later, holding a paper bag. She sits and hands it to Cosima. “I realized that I missed your birthday earlier this month. Your mother said you were busy with classes and couldn’t make it back home.”

Cosima stares at the bag and furrows her brow. She opens it slowly and sees the recognizable cover of _Charlotte's Web_  and lets out a tiny gasp. “This is a first edition. This must have cost hundreds of dollars. Delphine, I can’t accept this.”

Delphine shakes her head and holds her hands out in front of herself. “Please, I insist. It is the least I can do after all you’ve done this week.”

Cosima laughs. “Uh, yeah, after I forced you to come with me, so I could avoid annoying questions from my family. Are you a secret millionaire, too?”

Delphine reaches across the table and holds one of Cosima’s hands in her own. They look into each other’s eyes and Cosima inches closer to Delphine, but a crash coming from the kitchen interrupts them and Cosima jumps back into her chair. She glares in the house’s direction and sees her parents scrambling.

Gene rushes out with a silver platter and clears his throat. “We didn’t have time to prepare an actual dessert, so these Eskimo Pies will have to suffice.” He waits for the women to take their ice cream, bows, and turns around.

Delphine looks at the bar questioningly. “I have never had one of these before.”

Cosima smiles. “Well, Miss Cormier, you are in for a treat.”

They unwrap their ice cream bars in unison and Cosima takes the first bite, cracking into the chocolate shell and sending tiny bits flying all over the place. Delphine laughs at the sight and delicately bites into her own. The idea of chocolate and ice cream seems like a natural marriage of flavors and the sweetness isn’t something Delphine is accustomed to, but it’s enjoyable.

When they finish eating, Cosima clears their plates, grabs her book, and heads inside the house. She gives her parents a couple of thumbs up and her parents pat themselves on the back after a successful dinner. Delphine puts out the candles and brings the wine glasses inside. She thanks Gene and Sally for their work and say it’s one of the best meals she’s had.

Cosima runs back upstairs and is gone for a couple minutes. She comes back down, wearing a heavy jacket and tosses one to Delphine.

“I’m not done with you yet,” she says slyly with a wink.


	11. Pisces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, y'all love you some jealous Delphine, huh? I added a tiiiiny part in another chapter just for you, but it's not much. Doesn't really fit in with the rest of the story. If you want a one-shot, or something, I may be able to work that out. This chapter is relatively short, but Friday's will make up for it.
> 
> OKAY. Next on the agenda, since this story will be fully posted within the next two weeks, I'll need to start working on the next one. Here's where you come in: I'll let you vote on the next one I finish. Ideas so far: summer camp, 50 First Dates, shipwrecked/plane crash/survival, zombie apocalypse, something else. Vote in comments, or if you have a better idea that doesn't include survey monkey, let me know.
> 
> Lastly, I made a [sideblog](https://bearpantaloons.tumblr.com/) for fics and it's mostly what I've posted on here, but I'll post ficlets and one-shots on there, as well. Feel free to send me prompts, ask questions, or yell at me for grammatical/spelling errors!

Delphine puts on the jacket, which is a couple of sizes too big and watches Cosima kiss both of her parents on the cheek. The brunette grabs her hand and leads her out to the truck. Cosima runs over to the passenger side and opens the door for Delphine, who smiles graciously and steps inside. Cosima hops up onto the driver’s side and starts the engine.

“Where are we going?” Delphine questions.

“You’ll see,” Cosima answers, giving no hints. They drive for a while and it looks familiar to Delphine. She deduces that they must be going back to the marina, where the boat is. Soon, her hypothesis is proven correct when they pull up. They exit the truck and Cosima prepares the boat. She then grabs a bag from the back seat of the truck and loads it onto the deck. She helps Delphine step in and unties the boat. She turns it on and raises the anchor. The hum of the engine rings through their ears and they’re off in no time. Delphine watches Cosima do her thing and they sail out to the middle of the water. Cosima cuts off the engine and starts unpacking the bag she brought with her.

She lays a blanket on top of the bow and takes out another bottle of wine with two glasses. She hops up to sit on it and offers her hand for Delphine to grab. She does so and joins her. Cosima pours the wine into the glasses and hands one to the blonde. They sip it quietly and Cosima looks up at the sky. It’s a clear night and the stars are shining through perfectly. She sets her glass down and lies down on top of the blanket. Soon after, Delphine lies down next to her and looks up.

Cosima points at a cluster of stars. “That’s Cygnus, the swan. The myth goes, Zeus seduced a Spartan queen, Leda, in the form of a swan and she gave birth to two sets of twins – one set mortal, Clytemnestra and Castor, and the other immortal, Helen and Polydeuces.” Delphine listens intently and leans her head on Cosima’s shoulder. Cosima moves her arm and points in another direction, pointing at another pattern of stars. “And that’s Cassiopeia. She boasted about her beauty and caused all sorts of drama with Poseidon, so he threw her up into the sky. These Greek gods clearly never met you. I bet you’re way prettier than she was.”

Delphine blushes at the compliment. “Cosima…”

“I know. You’re still figuring everything out. I’m not trying to pressure you, or anything. And I know we got off on the wrong foot, but you said it yourself, you knew I had a crush on you from the beginning. You know I think you’re gorgeous and I really do like you. I guess I’m just finally ready to accept that and confront it, even if you end up not feeling the same, or you decide I’m not what you’re looking for. It’s all okay. I just needed to say it out loud. So, this engagement thing, getting you your citizenship, I’m all in. I’ll see it through until the end. Promise.”

Delphine processes everything Cosima just said and sits up. Cosima leans up on her elbows and is about to reiterate that there’s no pressure and that they can just be friends, but before she’s able to get anything out, lips are attached to hers. Cosima slides her eyes shut and snakes a hand around Delphine’s waist, pulling her closer. Delphine’s hands cup the brunette’s face and changes the angle of her head to deepen the kiss. She slides her tongue intently across Cosima’s bottom lip, causing her to open her mouth wider to allow it entrance.

Cosima moans into Delphine’s mouth when she feels a warm tongue against hers. The brunette changes their position and has Delphine lie back, taking in a deep breath as she looks into Delphine’s darkened eyes and at her heaving chest. The jacket is splayed open and even though Delphine is still wearing clothes, Cosima can still see all of the curves of her body. She leans in and places a gentle kiss on the base of Delphine’s neck, swiping her tongue across the tender skin. Delphine shudders and wraps her hands around Cosima’s torso and back, wanting her closer. When Cosima nips at her neck with gentle bites, Delphine breathes in sharply and brings a hand up to the back of Cosima’s neck, digging her fingers into the brunette’s skin.

Cosima lifts her head up to look into Delphine’s eyes. “God, you are so beautiful,” she whispers while stroking her cheek with her thumb.

Delphine feels her lip quiver and she breaks their eye contact and looks off to the side, her breath shuddering. Cosima stands up and backs away slightly.

“Whoa, are you okay? Was that too much?”

Delphine shakes her head and sits up, pulling Cosima back into her, hugging her close, breathing in her scent. Cosima rubs her back and holds her, placing a gentle kiss atop the blonde’s head.

“I’m sorry,” Delphine whispers.

Cosima shushes her. “It’s okay, do you want to go back?”

“Can we just lie here for a little while longer?”

“Yeah, of course,” Cosima answers, climbing back onto the bow of the boat. She lies down next to Delphine, dangling her legs over the edge at her knees. She continues pointing out the constellations she remembers and telling their stories. Delphine cuddles up to Cosima and wraps her arms around the brunette’s, hugging it close. In the middle of one of her stories, Delphine sees a shooting star and gasps.

“Did you see that?” she asks.

Cosima smiles. “I did. Now you have to make a wish.”

Delphine thinks for a moment. What she wishes for, more than anything, is to be comfortable in her own body, to be comfortable with her sexuality, whatever it ends up being. She wishes for U.S. citizenship and to be able to live there without worrying about being sent away. She wishes to _love._

“Got it?” Cosima questions with eager eyes.

Delphine nods her head affirmatively.

Cosima waves her hand. “Okay, don’t tell me. It won’t come true if you do.”

They continue scanning the night sky for more shooting stars, but don’t see anymore, so they head back. The air is chilly and Delphine wraps the jacket around herself tighter as Cosima drives the boat back to the marina. Cosima lets her steer for a little while, but the darkness frightens her and she makes the brunette take over again.

They pull up to the dock and Cosima jumps off to tie it down and drop anchor like before. She throws the tarp back on top of the boat and they walk back to the truck, hand in hand. Driving back to the house has become routine. They sing along to the radio and make fun of the repetitive commercials.

When they arrive back at the house, Cosima parks the truck and turns off the ignition. Delphine reaches across the middle console, takes Cosima’s hand, and brings it up to her cheek. Cosima’s thumb gently strokes soft skin and Delphine shuts her eyes and kisses Cosima’s palm, holding the hand in place and feeling its warmth on her face.

She wasn’t prepared to give what was happening between them a name, but she knew that it was on her terms and Cosima would be supportive of it. She would be given time to figure out exactly what it was she was feeling and examine the why and the how. They walk back to the guest house, greet Snoop, and get ready for bed. Cosima climbs under the covers and knows her back will be grateful to have an actual mattress to lie on.

Delphine gets on the other side of the bed and leaves about a foot in between herself and Cosima. Neither of them want to be presumptuous and give each other space, but also, both of them are vibrating with anticipation, not wanting to make the first move.

Finally, Delphine turns on her side and faces Cosima. She reaches over and lazily strokes the length of the other woman’s arm. “Thank you for today,” she says quietly. She can feel goosebumps rise all over Cosima’s arm and she smiles to herself.

Cosima looks over across the bed, where the moonlight illuminates Delphine’s face just enough that she can see the outline of where her nose slopes down to meet her lips - lips that she would very much like to kiss again, but doesn’t want to pressure Delphine if she isn’t ready. So, instead, she reaches over and brushes golden curls behind her ear and uses her thumb to make a trail from Delphine’s temple down her cheek.

“Thank you for indulging me. I was afraid that it would be too, I don’t know, serious, or too much like a real date.”

Delphine smiles and brings her hand up to Cosima’s face, brushing her thumb lightly across her bottom lip. “It was perfect. I can’t remember the last time I had a night like this.” She leans in slowly and places a gentle kiss on Cosima’s eager lips. They press their foreheads together and lay like that for a while, matching each other’s breaths.

She begins to apologize for how she reacted on the boat and Cosima silences her with another kiss, telling her not to worry and reminding her that she doesn’t have to label anything right away. Her reactions are going to be confusing for a while as she figures out what her feelings mean and Cosima is willing to wait. For now, they can continue to enjoy each other’s company as friends who kiss occasionally. No time limit, no pressure.

Delphine nuzzles her face in the crook of Cosima’s neck and memorizes her smell. She feels arms wrap around her body, holding her tight, as she remembers the wish she made on the boat. She repeats it over and over in her head, clutching it close to her heart and just prays that she’s brave enough to allow it to come true.

Cosima, on the other hand, hopes that putting herself out there and admitting her feelings wasn’t going to bite her in the ass in the end. The last time that happened, she ended up engaged to a woman who wasn’t ready to commit to her, who couldn’t accept every part of her – good and bad. She’s not sure if Delphine will be able to, either, but for the first time since Shay, she’s willing to try. She’ll wait for Delphine to understand herself, as long as it takes.

What she didn’t tell Delphine was that she had made a wish of her own. She wished for the ability to open her heart again and wished that Delphine would be able to fully understand her feelings, even if it meant that those feelings weren’t meant for her. Above all, she wanted Delphine to be happy and comfortable and for herself to also be happy and comfortable, wherever she was able to find it. For the past year, she had basically become a ghost of herself. After Shay, she didn’t trust herself or the way she felt about anyone else. She had been so sure that she and Shay were going to get married and live the rest of their lives together. Admittedly, she was absorbed with school, but she thought Shay understood that and it wouldn’t last forever.

That day at the quad, Shay returned the engagement ring, but not Cosima’s heart, so Cosima built walls around the hollow spot in her chest. She isn’t sure if Delphine is going to be the one to break those walls down and replace the missing organ, but she had just enough desire to see. Against her better judgement, she was going to let this stunning, tall, French, grad student break apart her insides in hopes of rebuilding it into something better and greater than before.

When Delphine’s breaths become deep and even, Cosima leans in and curls herself around the other woman, whispering, “I wove my webs for you because I liked you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote is from _Charlotte's Web_ by E.B. White.


	12. Horologium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who voted on what my next story should be. Survival/plane crash won, so I've started working on that. 
> 
> I also want to take the time to thank all of you for reading/commenting/leaving kudos/just being you. I've never written a story that's gotten so much praise and it warms my cold, little heart. So, thank you again.
> 
> This chapter is **NSFW**. Not sure if you need a warning, but here it is. I know sex isn't everyone's bag, so feel free to skip the end of the chapter.

Cosima’s eyes blink open; the sunlight beaming through the windows is blinding. She checks the time on her phone and it’s half past 10. Wondering why Snoop hadn’t woken her up for his usual feeding time, she grabs her glasses and looks over at his bowl, which is already filled with food. Delphine’s side of the bed is empty again.

The door to the guest house swings wide opening, making Cosima jump. Delphine walks in, holding a large tray her arms.

“Bonjour, Cosima,” she greets cheerfully. “I brought your breakfast.”

Cosima raises an eyebrow and sits up in the bed. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Delphine sets the tray of food on the bed, making sure the small vase with a flower from Sally’s garden is facing her. “I know. I wanted to,” she smiles softly. She climbs onto the bed and sits next to Cosima. The tray has waffles, toast, a bowl of fruit, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.

Cosima checks out the spread and her mouth starts to involuntarily water. She recognizes her mom’s famous waffles.

“I helped cut up the fruit,” Delphine begins saying. “Your mother wouldn’t share her waffle recipe, though, so I had to look away when she made them.”

Cosima chuckles. “Yeah, she won’t share that with anyone. You might have to wait until we’re married for that,” she says, watching Delphine’s reaction closely. The blonde doesn’t let it phase her and snaps the napkin open with a flick of her wrist and lays it over Cosima’s lap.

“Eat up. I’m going to take a shower,” she says, sliding off the edge of the bed. Cosima picks up her knife and fork and cuts a piece of waffle off and puts it in her mouth. She’s missed her mom’s cooking; whenever she has class, it’s takeout every night. She didn’t see the point of going through the trouble of cooking if it was just for her.

This is their last full day in Atherton, because Cosima figures she would need time to finish up any assignments that are due when spring break is over. Plus, she still has to deal with Shay and might need extra time to recover from that. She finishes her food and pushes the tray forward to the edge of the bed, so she can get out. She looks over to the bathroom door, which is cracked open, and tells herself it’s just to vent the room. It’s become somewhat of a habit of Delphine’s, but Cosima tries not to stare. She’s just glad that there’s a level of comfort and trust there.

After having such a great night before, Cosima’s not sure how she can top that. When the shower turns off, Cosima takes that as her cue to get out of bed and start acting busy. She begins picking up all of her dirty clothes and throwing it into a pile near the door. Delphine walks out of the shower wearing only a towel and Cosima thinks that maybe there’s a little too much comfort between them now.

“I’m going to start a load of laundry. Do you need to wash anything?”

Delphine walks over to her suitcases and starts picking out various articles of clothing. Cosima gulps when she sees her pick up panties and bras. The blonde tosses her clothes on top of Cosima’s pile and thanks her.

Cosima gathers all of the clothes in her arms and makes sure she didn’t leave anything behind. She calls out over her shoulder, “I was thinking of going to a farmers market over by the Stanford University campus and maybe take a campus tour for fun. How does that sound?”

Delphine is sitting on the bed now, wringing out her wet hair. “That sounds great,” she offers a polite smile. There’s almost a twinge of sadness in her voice that Cosima notices, but doesn’t pursue it. She leaves the guest house with the clothes and heads to her parents’ laundry room. She loads the washer and walks into the living room, where her parents are reading the paper.

“Hey, Pea, how was last night?” Gene inquires, looking up from his section of the newspaper.

“It was… great, actually,” she answers with a smile while she remembers the events that transpired. She remembers showing Delphine the constellations, she remember sharing the kiss, but frowns slightly when she remembers the discomfort and the fear in Delphine’s eyes afterwards. That was something else that they would probably need to talk about, but in due time.

Delphine walks through the door and joins them in the living room, sitting on the arm of the recliner that Cosima is in. The action of placing her arm around the brunette’s shoulder starts feeling natural. Cosima leans closer into her, shoulder touching ribcage, fitting and molding together like puzzle pieces, as cliché as that may be. She knows that Cosima has the potential to break her heart, but she holds the same power. Still, she wants to be ready to explore that longing inside of her, that feeling deep in her gut that that surfaces whenever she sees Cosima smile, whenever she catches Cosima having an intimate conversation with Darwin, and whenever Cosima thinks that Delphine is asleep and whispers prose and promises into her ear.

_I think I could love you._

Delphine knows that the idea of loving a woman isn’t scary, but the idea of _her_ loving one is. She’s afraid of hurting Cosima; she’s afraid that she’s confusing true feelings for ones she’s supposed to feel for someone she’s engaged to, even if the engagement itself isn’t true.

“Delphine?” Cosima’s voice rings through the blonde’s ears.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

 Cosima arches a brow. “I asked if you were ready to go.”

Delphine nods enthusiastically. “Yes, of course.”

Gene and Sally offer to go with the two, but Cosima gives them a look that tells them that they’re not wanted and retreat. Cosima tells them that she and Delphine will cook them dinner later that night. They borrow Gene’s truck and head east toward the farmers market and the Stanford campus. Cosima had applied to Stanford, and was accepted, but the second she stepped foot on the Berkeley campus, it was all over. She couldn’t imagine going anywhere else.

They drive through the bustling college town and park somewhere on campus. Groups of young potential students gather around a grassy area for their tour, and Cosima and Delphine join them. Cosima is excited for this tour, even though she’s already been on it once, but that was years ago, when she was still in high school. Delphine watches the smaller woman bouncing with anticipation and smiles. Their tour begins and the guide starts walking them down the sidewalk, explaining the history of the campus and shouting praises about Leland and Jane Stanford, the university’s founders. The peach-colored buildings align both sides of the street and when they pass through the quad and stop at the Memorial Church, Cosima takes the opportunity to reach over and link her fingers in between Delphine’s, who gives her hand a little squeeze.

The tour ends at the campus store. Cosima buys herself a hoodie, so she can tell people that she turned down Stanford when people ask if she goes there and Delphine picks out a t-shirt that Cosima insists on paying for.

On the way to the farmers market, Delphine admits that she’s never been to one and Cosima feigns shock. She nonchalantly mentions that they’re doing a lot of firsts together. Cosima parks the truck nearby the market. Rows and rows of fruit and vegetable stands litter the main street and it’s a little overwhelming for Delphine. She doesn’t know where to start.

“So, I was thinking we could make a cheesecake and grab some of these fresh berries to make a coulis. Then, for dinner, use some of these vegetables for a salad and then make a pasta dish. Do you eat mushrooms?”

Delphine nods. “I am not too picky when it comes to food.”

“Thank God. Trying to feed Helena, Sarah, and Felix is a nightmare with different diets and preferences.”

They spend more time walking down the rows, looking and touching all of the fresh produce. Off to the side, Delphine notices a separate stand that’s selling jewelry. She looks at the different rings and asks to see one that’s inside the case. It’s dark titanium with an electric blue ring around the inside. She hands the woman behind the table some cash and walks back over to Cosima. She grabs the brunette’s left hand and slides the ring onto the finger; it’s a little loose, but it works. Cosima looks at it questioningly and raises her eyes to meet Delphine’s.

“I didn’t think it was fair that I had one and you didn’t.”

Cosima stares at her hand for a minute. It feels odd having a ring on again and the cold metal rubbing against her skin is a harsh reminder of the band that used to sit there. Cosima whispers a thank you and continues walking. The corners of Delphine’s mouth turn into a frown and she trails behind Cosima silently, attempting to gather the flakes of her heart that are chipping away with each step between them.

Cosima picks out some of the ingredients they’ll need for dinner and throws them into her reusable produce bag that her mother let her borrow. Delphine remains at arm’s length and browses through each stall they pass. One stall is selling flowers and Cosima picks a bunch of daffodils out of a bucket, shakes the water off, and hands it to Delphine - a silent apology. Delphine accepts the flowers and holds them close to her chest while they walk back to the truck. Daffodils are a symbol of rebirth and new beginnings, appropriately chosen for the both of them as they try to shed their past traumas and current apprehensions.

They get back to the house and Cosima parks. The ring on her finger feels like a weight on her heart and she doesn’t know how to shake this feeling. She should be happy; Delphine is as invested in this charade as she is. It’s going to work out, but she doesn’t know at what cost.

She takes the bag out of the back seat and they walk into the house together. Cosima drops the food off in the kitchen and sees her parents working in the garden out back. She yells a greeting to them to let them know they’re home. She washes her hands and takes out a couple of cutting boards and knives. Cosima slides one set over to Delphine and has her start chopping vegetables. She takes a big mixing bowl out and starts measuring flour, eggs, and salt. Thankfully, her mother owns a big mixer, so Cosima puts the bowl in it and sets it to medium, letting it do its job. When it’s done mixing, she tosses it onto a flour-covered cutting board and starts kneading it and when that’s done, she wraps it in plastic wrap and puts it in the refrigerator.

Next up is the ingredients for the cheesecake; she starts baking it already, because it will take a couple hours to fully bake. Delphine is done chopping and Cosima takes the dough out of the refrigerator and starts to soften it. Cooking together feels oddly sensual, especially when Cosima helps Delphine knead the dough by holding her hands and showing her how to push the softening dough with her thumbs and palms and flip it, repeating the process again. Cosima runs it through her mom’s pasta maker until it’s a long sheet. She then cuts them into long strips.

“What are we making?” Delphine asks.

“Tagliatelle pasta with prosciutto and mushrooms. No prosciutto for me, obviously. Can you get a big pot and start boiling some water?”

Delphine nods and gets a pot from the cupboard and fills it with water and salt. While waiting for the water to boil, Cosima has Delphine start assembling the salad – lettuce, chopped vegetables, dressing. When she’s done, she sets the dining room table and gets some wine. The bouquet of daffodils are in a vase in the center of the table. Once the water boils, the pasta is submerged and Cosima waits a few minutes until it’s al dente. It’s then transferred into a pan, where Cosima adds mushrooms and cream, setting some aside for herself before she adds the prosciutto. She cracks fresh pepper on top with parmesan.

Her mom and dad went to wash up after gardening and are now sitting in the kitchen, watching. Cosima and Delphine take everything to the table and lay everything across the center. They serve each other, filling their plates and breathing in the delicious smells coming from the food. Cosima sits back and watches everyone dig in, swelling with pride when they all make satisfied noises.

“This is delicious, honey,” her mom says. Gene nods in agreement. When she’s done eating, Cosima excuses herself to finish up the cheesecake. Delphine follows her to assist.

Delphine washes the berries and puts them in a pot with some sugar and lets it boil down. Cosima opens the oven door to let the cheesecake rest and leans across the island. Delphine stands next to her and sets her hand on Cosima’s back.

“I think we should talk,” Delphine says in a low voice. Cosima knew this was coming after what happened at the farmers market. She nods in agreement, says they’ll talk later, and tends to the coulis before Delphine can say anything else. They serve the cheesecake after it’s cooled off and sit down to watch a movie together before heading to bed. Cosima chooses the animated _Charlotte’s Web,_ naturally. She and Delphine sit together on the loveseat while Gene and Sally sit in the recliners. Delphine watches Cosima out of the corner of her eye the entire time, watching her silently mouth the dialogue along with the film.

After the movie is over, they hug each other goodnight and as they walk through the guest house door, Delphine reaches for Cosima’s hand and guides her to the bed. She has Cosima sit down and she sits next to her.

“About the farmers market,” Delphine begins, but Cosima cuts her off.

“Can we get ready for bed first? I have a feeling this is going to be a long conversation.”

Delphine nods and they both get ready for bed. They each take a quick shower, brush their teeth, and climb into bed. They lie silently for a few minutes, not sure how to re-approach the discussion.

“I’m sorry if I seemed ungrateful. It’s just strange having the ring. It makes it feel more real,” Cosima says.

Delphine shakes her head and faces Cosima, resting her head on an arm. “You don’t have to apologize. I should have asked. I’m still trying to navigate... this.” She waves her hand in a circular motion.

Cosima exhales. “I don’t even know what this is.” She makes the same circular motion with her hand. “Like, you bought me this ring. What does it even mean, Delphine? Are we doing this for real, or is it still just to get your citizenship and then we go our separate ways once you get it? Because I don’t know how many failed engagements I can handle in one lifetime.”

Delphine takes a deep breath and faces Cosima, taking both of her hands. “Cosima, I know that it’s hard knowing how to navigate this when it started off as a lie, but I think that... it’s no longer a lie for me. Do you see what I’m saying?”

“Are you saying you _want_ to be engaged?”

Delphine laughs. “I was thinking we would start with dating first.”

“Oh, so we’re, like, Benjamin Button-ing our relationsh—... whatever this is.”

Delphine gives her a questioning look. “Benjamin... Button-ing?”

“It’s a movie. He starts off as an old man and ages backwards and Cate Blanchett is this smokin’ hot dancer lady, and— nevermind, not important.” Cosima organizes her thoughts and tries to figure out what to say next. The thing that she wanted to happen was actually happening, but there had to be some kind of catch, right?

“So, let me get this straight, you want to start dating?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Cosima.”

“Okay, but what about—“ Delphine cuts off Cosima’s rambling with a kiss, grabbing each side of her face and holding it there, waiting to see how Cosima will react. After the initial shock, Cosima wraps her arms around Delphine, raking her fingers down her ribs, their kiss becoming deeper and more bold. Cosima detaches herself from Delphine’s mouth and kisses down the length of her neck. Delphine swings her leg over Cosima, so she’s straddling her lap and leans in to devour Cosima’s mouth once more. Feeling the brunette’s tongue flicking against hers causes Delphine to moan loudly into Cosima’s mouth and she rotates her hips forward, not getting the friction she needs.

Cosima grabs the hem of Delphine’s shirt and looks up at her. “Can I?”

Delphine nods and Cosima lifts the shirt up and over her head, placing a gently kiss in the area on her chest, between her breasts. Cosima cups one of Delphine’s breasts in her hand over her bra and rubs her thumb over the nipple, causing Delphine to hiss. Delphine slides off of Cosima’s lap and unbuttons her jeans. Cosima does the same and shimmies out of her pants and takes off her shirt. She removes her glasses and places them on the nightstand.

Delphine climbs back onto the bed and Cosima pushes herself toward the headboard. They lie next to each other, kissing and exploring each other’s bodies, hands sliding up and down arms and ribcages, touching every inch of skin they possibly can. Cosima shifts her body and lines up on Delphine’s side, rubbing her abdomen and dipping her fingers just underneath the elastic band if her panties.

“Are you okay?” She asks.

Delphine nods silently, her chest rising and falling with every breath.

“If you want to stop, tell me. We don’t have to rush things. We can just—”

Delphine interrupts Cosima by drawing her lips into a passionate kiss. She grabs Cosima’s wrist and pulls it lower, so that her fingers can feel the arousal pooling between her legs. “Stop talking and touch me.”

“Oh, God,” Cosima moans. She drags her fingers up Delphine’s wet sex and rubs tiny circles around her clit. Delphine gasps and bucks her hips, one arm wrapping around Cosima's shoulder and the other hand grasping at the sheets next to her. Cosima attaches herself to Delphine’s neck, licking and sucking the bare skin. She brings a finger to Delphine’s entrance and looks at her, waiting for approval. When Delphine nods, Cosima slides her finger in slowly and draws it out. Delphine let’s out a shaky breath and arches her back; the hand that was grabbing the sheets was now grabbing the pillow under her head.

As Cosima continues pumping her finger in and out of Delphine, their breaths start to become more urgent. Delphine whispers, “More,” and Cosima adds another finger, slowly. Cosima makes sure that her thumb makes contact with Delphine’s clit and rubs it with every thrust. As Delphine gets closer, she wraps her hands around Cosima’s neck and pulls her in, breathing erratically into the brunette’s ear. By the time Cosima curls her fingers, Delphine is so close that it doesn’t take much before her body gets stiff and she cries out Cosima’s name as she comes.

As Delphine’s breathing slows, Cosima gives her a gentle kiss on the cheek and realizes that Delphine is crying. She looks up at the other woman and strokes her cheek.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Delphine shakes her head and covers her face with her hands. Cosima isn’t sure which question she’s saying ’no’ to and it worries her. She wraps Delphine up in her arms and covers the both of them with a sheet. Cosima kisses Delphine on the forehead and holds her until she’s calm enough to speak.

“One of these days, I won’t cry after we’ve had an intimate moment,” she says with a laugh.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cosima asks.

“I think I’m just feeling so many things all at once that it became too overwhelming.”

“Do you regret this?” Cosima asks, frowning.

“Not at all. This was... wow.” Delphine answers and gives Cosima a kiss.

“I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a ‘wow’ before. I think I’m going to need that in writing, so can frame it.”

Delphine laughs and hugs Cosima close to her body. “Wait, but you didn’t… do you want me to…”

Cosima shakes her head and kisses Delphine’s forehead. “Don’t worry about me. Tonight was about you.”

A moment passes before either one of them speaks again.

“What happens when we go back to Berkeley?” Cosima asks. “We can’t really openly date while you’re still my TA. Before, we could have just ignored it, since the whole engagement thing was fake, but now? I’m a kept woman.”

Delphine chuckles. “Well, I can either quit being a TA, or we just keep our relationship hidden.”

“I don’t want you to have to quit; that isn’t fair to you. Sordid love affair it is. Although, it’s going to be really hard not to picture you naked whenever we have class,” Cosima says.

“You haven’t even seen me naked,” Delphine replies.

“Not yet,” Cosima answers, waggling her eyebrows.

“When did you get so cheeky?”

“I’ve always been cheeky; you just never knew, because you were such a stuck-up TA.”

Delphine laughs and kisses Cosima. They both relax and Cosima drapes an arm across Delphine’s torso. She mindlessly traces patterns along her skin and Delphine hums contentedly. It’s not long before she falls asleep and Cosima is left to reflect on everything that happened. She feels herself letting go of Shay. She’s picking off the scab of her last failed relationship and finally allowing it to heal over - or, rather, Delphine is helping her heal. Nothing could have prepared her for this and she knows there’s always a chance that one of them could hurt the other, but Cosima is willing to take that chance.

She hugs Delphine closer to her and listens to her heartbeat. She wonders if that heart is beating for her yet, because she can feel the walls that surround the empty cavity in her own chest crumbling down.


	13. Equuleus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this chapter is NSFW.
> 
> Posting this one a few hours early, because it’s a holiday for me and not sure I’ll remember to do it later. Enjoy!

The next morning, Cosima wakes up and sees Delphine still in bed next to her. She reaches over and strokes the bare skin on her back, confirming that the night before really did happen. Cosima slides closer to the blonde’s body and lays gentle kisses on Delphine’s shoulder, down her back, and wraps an arm around her. The blonde stirs and lets out a quiet moan while Cosima continues her ministrations.

“Are you awake?” Cosima husks in the blonde’s ear.

“Mmm, I am now,” Delphine replies.

Cosima turns Delphine onto her side, facing away from her and slides her hand lower, underneath Delphine’s panties, gliding her fingers across the blonde’s entrance. Delphine sucks in a breath and rotates her hips into Cosima’s touch. She takes her own hand and reaches behind her, finding the band to Cosima’s panties and glides her hand underneath, searching for the brunette’s own wetness. Cosima groans into Delphine’s neck and gathers the pooling arousal on the tips of her fingers and begins rubbing Delphine’s clit.

Delphine throws her head back and pushes her hips back into her hand, which has found its own bundle of nerves to rub and places additional pressure on her fingers. She feels Cosima’s breath on her neck and knows she’s getting close by the urgency she’s putting on her circular motions and the frequency of her hip movements.

They continue working each other up until Delphine breathlessly whispers that she’s about to come, which spurs Cosima on, causing her to rub faster with more purpose and ignoring her own pleasure. It’s not long before Delphine is crying out and waves of ecstasy wash over her. Her body trembles, while Cosima grinds out her own orgasm on Delphine’s hand and comes, as well.

As they both come down, calming their breathing, Delphine turns to face Cosima and gives her a kiss. “Good morning.”

 _“_ Holy shit. Good morning,” Cosima replies, smiling. “What time is it?”

Delphine checks her watch. “It’s nearly 11:00.”

Cosima throws the sheet off of her and jumps out of bed. “We still have to pack.” She rushes off to turn the shower on, leaving Delphine alone on the bed, chuckling to herself.

After they’ve showered and dressed, Cosima opens the door and sees that her mother finished washing and folding their clothes. She takes the basket back into the guest house and starts separating the clothing. She packs her own bag and then helps Delphine pack hers. They head over to the main house for their last breakfast with Sally and Gene.

“G’morning,” Cosima calls out as they walk through the door.

“Good morning, Pea. Morning, Delphine,” Gene says from behind his newspaper.

 _“_ I’m guessing you two had a late night,” Sally says, noting the time, “with it being you last one here, in the seclusion of the guest house.” Delphine and Cosima’s eyes widen as Sally continues. “You know, your father and I were a couple of wild ones in our heyday.”

“Mom! We don’t want to know.”

Sally, amused with herself, takes the rest of the food to the dining room and they all sit down. They talk and eat, asking when Cosima’s next exam is. Delphine says she’ll make sure Cosima stays on top of her studying, while the brunette rolls her eyes. When it’s time to leave, they pack everything up, including Snoop, and Mark takes everything back to the car to load up.

Everyone climbs into the BMW and they head for the BART station.

“I don’t know how I’ll manage without my gardening helper,” Sally says pitifully. Delphine says that maybe she can come back in the summer and help out again, glancing over at Cosima, who smiles.

“That would be wonderful,” Sally replies.

Delphine’s smile fades. She’s really going to miss Gene and Sally, miss the home-cooked meals, miss not being stressed out about everything going on in her life. Somehow, Cosima has been able to alleviate a lot of that stress and, for that, Delphine is grateful.

They arrive at the BART station and unload their luggage. Cosima hugs her parents, Gene kisses her on the crown of her head and Sally kisses her cheeks. Next, Delphine hugs both of them tightly, thanks them immensely.

“It was so lovely to meet you, Delphine,” Sally says.

“Take care of our little Pea,” says Gene.

They wave goodbye and head to the train platform. Cosima sets Snoop down on a bench and sits down; Delphine joins her. Cosima suddenly feels nervous and she’s not sure why. Maybe it was because now the two of them were heading back to the real world and she wasn’t sure what was going to happen.

Cosima grabs her hand and gives it a squeeze; Delphine looks over to her and smiles. She cups Cosima’s cheek and leans down to kiss her, because she may not be free to do that nearly as much when they get back to Berkeley.

“What was that for?” Cosima asks.

“Just because,” Delphine says with a smile. She doesn’t want to worry Cosima with her fears, so she lies.

When their train arrives, they push their luggage on just as they did before on the way there. This time, though, they hold hands, lean their heads on each other’s shoulders, all the things that Cosima had been bitter about on the way to her parents’ house.

They get back to Berkeley and Delphine offers to drive Cosima back to her apartment, rather than her trying to maneuver her way on the bus with Snoop. Cosima agrees and they load everything into Delphine’s car, keeping Snoop in the front seat on her lap. When they get to the apartment, Delphine parks in the front of the building.

Cosima looks out the window at her front door and doesn’t make a move toward opening the door. She rotates the ring on her finger a few times and turns to look at Delphine. “So, what happens now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, like, I can’t exactly kiss my TA out in public. Someone from the class might see us. I’m not really into the idea of closeting myself again, so to speak.”

Delphine looks at her with regret. “I know, I’m sorry. But it’s only for the next few months and then you’ll graduate and we’ll be free to do whatever we want.”

Cosima nods slowly. “Do you want to grab dinner tonight? Or, if you’re worried about being seen, maybe you can come back here later tonight and we can order in.”

Delphine smiles and leans in to kiss Cosima. “I’d love that. I can pick up some food and bring it over.”

“It’s a date,” Cosima beams. She kisses Delphine once more and opens her door. She grabs Snoop and her suitcase from the backseat and walks up her stairs. She pauses at the top and waves at Delphine before turning to unlock her door. Delphine waits until she’s inside and drives off.

Cosima lets Snoop out of his mesh prison and throws her suitcase into the bedroom, ignoring the fact that she should unpack. She takes a look at her phone and she has a couple messages – one from Scott, asking if she’s back on campus yet, and one from Shay, asking the same thing. She groans and reads them. A sigh is expelled from her mouth and she flops onto her couch, with Snoop joining her. Her phone is gripped between her hands and she begrudgingly answers the texts. She tells both Scott and Shay that she just got back. Scott sends a text back immediately and asks if she wants to come over to play Runewars with him and the guys. She politely declines and says she’s pretty tired from the trip.

Next, it’s Shay’s turn to reply and she asks if Cosima wants to grab some coffee. Again, Cosima declines with the same excuse that she gave to Scott, but Shay is not as easily dissuaded. She even offers to come pick Cosima up and take her somewhere. Cosima sighs; she knows Shay won’t let up until she gets what she wants, so she concedes and agrees to get picked up.

A half hour later, there’s a car horn outside of Cosima’s apartment. She looks at Snoop, who meows at her.

“I know, buddy, this is a terrible idea.”

She leaves and locks the door behind her, descending the stairs and hops into the car.

“Hey, you,” Shay says, leaning over to press her cheek to Cosima’s. Cosima grimaces at the gesture, but says nothing.

They drive to the coffee shop near campus and Shay parks. Cosima walks in first and sits at her usual table near the window and Shay sits across from her. 

“Thanks for seeing me,” Shay says, folding her hands on the table in front of her.

“You didn’t really leave me with much of a choice,” Cosima bites back. She just wants to get this meeting over with as soon as possible.

“How have you been?” Shay asks, attempting to draw Cosima’s eyes to her own.

Cosima keeps her gaze lowered. “I’ve been good – great, actually.”

Shay notices the ring on Cosima’s ring finger. “Is that…” Cosima covers her ring instinctively. “Wow. Congratulations, I guess.”

“Why are we here, Shay? What do you want?”

Shay clears her throat. “I told you that I missed you.”

“Is that it?”

“What do you mean is that i—,” she exhales. “Look, Cosima, I can’t apologize enough for what I did to you – to us. I will regret that for the rest of my life. I just miss having you in my life. I miss _you_.”

Cosima scoffs at the admission. “You are something else, you know that? It’s been over a year and now you miss me? When I’m finally doing well – without you, might I add – and I’ve found someone who won’t get cold feet if I put my studies above going out to bars every night. I knew this was a bad idea. Goodbye, Shay. I’ll find my own way back.”

Cosima gets up to leave and Shay intercepts her departure. “If this is the last time we’re going to see each other, will you at least let me give you a hug?”

With a huff, Cosima acquiesces and embraces Shay. Their hug is slow and gentle, Shay leans her head on Cosima’s shoulder and her body shudders with a light sob. She lifts her head to look into Cosima’s eyes, which finally meet her gaze and she tenderly raises her hand to the brunette’s cheek, stroking it gently. Cosima closes her eyes and remembers who she’s with before stepping away. She looks out the window and sees a familiar blonde walking away quickly and she bolts out the door, yelling after her.

“Delphine, wait!”

Delphine speeds up and Cosima tries to keep up with her long gait. She’s practically running after her and grabs the blonde’s wrist and holds her there.

“Please, let me explain,” Cosima says breathlessly. Delphine refuses to look at her until Cosima reaches up and turns her face toward her. Tears stream down the blonde’s cheeks and her lip quivers.

“Shit, Delphine,” Cosima whispers as she wipes a tear away. “Can… can we talk somewhere?”

Delphine leads her to the car and unlocks it; they both sit inside and Delphine wipes her face.

“I was saying goodbye to her. Like, goodbye forever. Nothing happened.”

Delphine scoffs, not looking Cosima in the eye. “It didn’t look like nothing to me. Did you want it to?”

“No, of course not,” Cosima pleads. “She caught me off-guard. Please believe me.”

“Do you still want her?” Delphine asks quietly. “I would understand, you two have been through a lot. She was your fiancée first, after all.”

Cosima frowns and shakes her head. “No, Delphine. Shay and I are done. I only want you. I lo—“ She cuts herself off mid-sentence and sucks in a breath after her realization of what was nearly said.

“You what?”

“I-I really like you, Delphine. I want to be with you.”

Delphine doesn’t reply. All she does is turn on the car and pull out of the parking spot. When the car stops, Cosima doesn’t recognize where they are. Delphine climbs out and circles around to Cosima’s side and opens the door. Cosima exits the car and follows Delphine up a flight of stairs and stops in front of a door. She unlocks it and allows Cosima to enter first. The lights are flipped on and Cosima looks around at the nicely-furnished apartment.

“You have a nice place.”

“Thank you,” Delphine says softly. “Would you like something to drink?”

Cosima nods and has a seat on the couch. Delphine walks over with a couple of glasses of wine and sits down. Cosima takes a big sip and sets the glass down on the table.

“Look, Delphine, I’m really sorry about Shay. I—“

Delphine waves a hand in front of her. “No, I’m sorry I reacted poorly. The two of you have history.”

Cosima cups the sides of Delphine’s face and gently places a kiss on her lips. Delphine shuts her eyes and feels tears well up. She grabs onto Cosima and holds her close, gripping her shirt, not wanting to let go. When Cosima begins moving off of the couch, a whine comes from Delphine, but Cosima grabs her hand and leads her toward the bedroom.

Once there, she slowly starts stripping off her clothing and Delphine does the same until they’re both in their underwear.

“How are you not a model?” Cosima asks. “You could be in, like, _Scientific American_ Swimsuit Edition. Delphine laughs and closes the distance between them. She kisses Cosima’s shoulder and runs her hands down her back. She pushes them toward the bed and when Cosima’s knees hit the edge, she sits down on top of it. Delphine reaches behind her back.

“You know, we don’t have to. I mean, if you’re not ready, you can keep your underwear on.”

Delphine shakes her head and takes a step back, unclasping her bra and sliding it off her body.

“Oh. Wow,” Cosima whispers.

Delphine self-consciously crosses her arms in front of her, but Cosima shakes her head and lowers her arms.

“No, don’t hide yourself. You are ridiculously beautiful.” She scoots to the middle of the bed and pulls Delphine up with her. Cosima pulls back the sheets, so they can crawl underneath and not be so exposed. She takes off her own bra, so Delphine wouldn’t be the only one. They lie down next to each other and Cosima leans her head in the crook of Delphine’s neck.

“Promise me you won’t leave,” she says, her voice no louder than a whisper.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Delphine replies, hugging Cosima close and kissing the top of her head. She leans on her side and catches Cosima’s chin, tilting it up, so she can kiss her properly. It’s delicate at first, until Cosima runs her hands through blonde curls and deepens the kiss with urgency. Delphine moans into the brunette’s mouth and wraps her arms around her, turning them both over, so Delphine ends up on top, hovering above Cosima. The brunette gazes into her eyes, searching for reassurances and promises that she begs Delphine to keep.

“Tell me again,” she pleads.

“I won’t leave, Cosima.” She kisses her again. They strip off the rest of their clothing and make love. They memorize every crevice of each other’s bodies, every birthmark, every scar. They tell each other their hopes of the future and promise each other the world. Slowly, they peel away each layer that previously covered their most vulnerable parts, leaving their bare souls exposed. As they drift to sleep, they remember what love feels like, but with it comes the knowledge that they now have something to lose.  

_Please don’t leave._


	14. Lupus

“You’re the type of girl people write songs about.”

Delphine laughs and shakes her head.

“No? What about… are you a beaver? ‘Cause _dam_.”

Delphine snorts. “These are horrible.”

“Oh, wait, wait. I have one more for my incredibly hot science TA. Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you are Cu-Te. Get it? C-u-t-e.” Cosima wags her eyebrows suggestively.

Delphine bursts into laughter and cradles Cosima’s cheek in her hand. “You’re so silly.”

Cosima smiles. “Yeah, but you love it. If I had used these on you, would you have gone out with me?”

Delphine wrinkles her face. “Probably not.”

Cosima gives her best fake shocked look. “What? This is my best material. I’ll have you know that it’s worked on exactly two other girls before.”

Delphine cocks an eyebrow. “Two whole girls?”

“Okay, they may have been drunk. But still!”

Delphine playfully punches Cosima’s arm. She sits up and gets out of bed, not even bothering to cover herself, while Cosima admires her beauty. She makes her way to the bathroom and turns on the shower. As steam starts to rise and fill the room, Delphine peeks her head out and asks, “Are you coming?”

Cosima had never moved so fast in her life.

* * *

Scott had texted Cosima and asked if she wanted to grab some lunch and she felt guilty for brushing him off the day before, so she accepted. She invites Delphine to go with her, who is less than eager to be seen by other students of Professor Leekie’s, but she wants to spend as much time with Cosima as possible, so she agrees to go.

They arrive at the restaurant and spot Scott with the other guys at a booth. The slide over and allow Cosima and Delphine in, all looking at the blonde in awe.

“Hey,” Cosima says nervously. “Hope you guys don’t mind that I invited Delphine.” The boys shake their heads and continue gawking. Isaiah shrugs and pours them both some beer from the pitcher they bought.

“So, um, how was your girls’ spring break?” Allen asks, hoping for juicy details.

“It was pretty good,” Cosima answers. “We went out onto the Bay on my dad’s boat and Delphine helped my mom with some gardening.”

The guys look at each other curiously. “Gardening?” Calwyn asks.

“Are you boys waiting for us to say we had hot sex every night?” Delphine asks with a raised eyebrow. Allen chokes on his beer and Scott pats him on the back and none of them make eye contact with the women. Cosima stifles a laugh and is pleasantly surprised by Delphine’s uncharacteristic boldness.

“You guys are ridiculous. Let’s order some food,” Cosima says. They order a few baskets of hot wings, a pizza, and some sweet potato fries. Delphine’s never had wings or sweet potato fries before, but she’s excited to try new things, especially with Cosima. When their food comes, everyone digs in and Delphine takes one of each and puts it on her plate. She picks up her fork and stabs the wing and Cosima glances over at her and gives her a strange look.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m eating this wing.”

Cosima shakes her head. “No, no. You can’t eat it with a fork. Here, like this,” she says while holding a wing between her hands and takes a bite right out of it. She smiles back at Delphine, who laughs at the drip of sauce on Cosima’s chin and wipes it away with her napkin. The boys just stare at the two of them.

After they finish eating, Delphine excuses herself to the restroom to wash her hands. Scott leans in, “Okay, what the heck? You two are, like, totally into each other. What happened at your parents’ house?”

Cosima shrugs. “I guess we grew on each other.”

“So you did have sex!” Calwyn exclaims. Cosima shushes him and gives him a little smirk.

“You’re going to have to explain everything, Cos,” Scott whispers to her as he sees Delphine walking back to the booth. They sit up straight and act like they’ve just been talking about their last D&D campaign.

“I’m telling you, I have the worst rolls. I cut off my own foot once and now I have a peg leg!” Allen exclaims.

“Yeah, but I let you shoot daggers out of it,” Isaiah counters. Delphine slips into the booth and rests her hand on Cosima’s thigh. They give each other a tiny smile and continue listening to the boys’ roleplaying woes. At the end of the meet-up, Cosima promises Scott that she’ll tell him everything on Monday. They wave goodbye to the boys and are left by themselves.

“What now?” Cosima asks, linking her fingers between Delphine’s.

“I can think of a couple things,” Delphine answers with a smirk, taking a step closer to the other woman.

Cosima raises an eyebrow. “I know exactly what you mean.”

* * *

Delphine groans. “This is not what I meant.”

Cosima grabs her hand and drags her down the sidewalk. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

They arrive in front of a building on campus and there’s a line waiting to go in. Delphine pouts and refuses to hold Cosima’s hand.

“Delphine?” A voice says behind them. They turn around quickly and see Professor Leekie standing in line behind them. He walks up casually and grins. Something about him rubs Cosima the wrong way. “I didn’t know you were interested in opera.”

Delphine smiles. “Oh, hello Professor Leekie. Yes, actually, I’m a big fan.” Cosima clears her throat. “Uh, this is Cosima Niehaus. I’m sure you remember her. She’s in your Molecular Immunology class.”

Professor Leekie takes a curious look at Cosima and smiles. “Ah yes, of course. Top of the class after the little snafu with that one exam.”

Cosima smiles politely and nods. “That would be me.”

The line begins to move and they stand at the box office. Cosima purchases two tickets and Professor Leekie hovers behind them. They find their seats and Leekie sits next to Delphine. Cosima wants to tell him to get lost, but she doesn’t want to make a scene. His presence is like a thick fog that follows him around and Cosima doesn’t like it.

Throughout the opera, she notices him gently touch Delphine’s arm while he whispers things to her. Delphine looks visibly uncomfortable, so when it’s intermission, Cosima pulls Delphine up with her, using the excuse that they need to use the restroom.

“Okay, what’s Leekie’s deal?” Cosima asks, placing her hands on her hips. “He’s been all over you.”

Delphine sighs and looks down at the ground. She was hoping to avoid this conversation, but with Leekie’s lecherous gaze and his bold touches, there’s no way around it.

“I... I can’t talk about it here. Can we go?”

“Sure.”

They drive back to Cosima’s apartment and Delphine sits on the couch while Cosima gets them both a drink. Snoop joins Delphine on the couch and purrs while rubbing himself across her chest. Cosima sits down and hands Delphine a wine glass. She toys with the edge of the glass with her finger before taking a sip.

The air between them is thick and Cosima is worried about what Delphine is about to tell her. Has she and Leekie actually slept together? Did he know about the two of them? Was he blackmailing her?

“The rumors about me aren’t 100% false,” Delphine says.

Cosima frowns and feels her jealousy rising up like bile in her throat, but she remains silent.

“When I first began to TA for Professor Leekie, we had a strictly professional relationship, but he would ask me to come to his office a lot and I could feel him stare during lectures. It didn’t take him long to offer me a position with his company with the veiled promise of citizenship, so of course I accepted.

“It didn’t take him long to start becoming bolder with his flirtations and when I didn’t return his advances, he rescinded the job offer, which is why I no longer had a plan for my visa and future citizenship.”

Cosima listens to everything that Delphine says, balling her hands into fists whenever she mentions Leekie’s leering, but ultimately feels guilty for, well, she’s not exactly sure what.

“So, he’s the reason why you’re in this situation.”

“It’s why _we’re_ in this situation,” Delphine corrects her.

“But if he hadn’t been a disgusting old man, you never would have forced me into this engagement and I probably never would have told you how I felt, so I think I need to thank him. Should I send him an edible arrangement?” Cosima says with very serious look on her face.

Delphine cracks a smile after she realizes Cosima is joking and they both burst into laughter. Delphine leans in to kiss the brunette gently. When Cosima surges forward, pushing Delphine back into the sofa, the sudden movement startles Snoop and he jumps onto the floor. Cosima kisses and licks a trail down Delphine’s neck, causing her to inhale sharply. She hovers above the blonde until she opens her eyes and stares into darkened eyes that are looking back at her.

“What is it?” Delphine asks.

Cosima sighs and lays her head in the crook of Delphine’s neck, her breath tickling the blonde’s skin. Delphine traces circles with her fingertips on Cosima’s back and waits for her to respond.

“Delphine? Are you... mine?”

Delphine wrinkles her forehead. “Yours? What do you mean?”

“I mean, are we exclusive? We still haven’t really talked about the rules or boundaries.”

“I thought we agreed that we’d start with dating,” Delphine recalls. “Is that not exclusive?”

“Well, just because people are dating, it doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t dating other people.”

Delphine shakes her head. “American dating habits are so strange. In France, if you’re with someone, exclusivity is assumed. Do you want to date other people?”

Cosima lifts herself back up to look at her... girlfriend? Fiancée? She supposes they’ll eventually have to label themselves. “No, I only want you. Okay, exclusive it is.” She smiles and kisses Delphine. “I guess I should cancel my other dates this week.”

Delphine scoffs and throws Cosima off the couch, stepping over her and heading toward the bedroom.

“Hey! You’re just going to leave me here?”

“Ask one of your other girlfriends to come help you,” Delphine yells from deep within the bedroom.

Cosima hops up and runs after Delphine. “Hold up. Does that mean you’re my girlfriend?”

* * *

Cosima rolls over and places a kiss on Delphine’s bare shoulder. “Hey, girlfriend,” she says with an impish grin.

Delphine laughs, pulling Cosima down to meet her lips. Now, they had a label.

Girlfriends.

To everyone else, they’re fiancées, but to each other, they were girlfriends. They’re still getting to know each other, learning likes and dislikes, quirks, what pushes each other’s buttons. It doesn’t take them long to get into their own routine. Cosima is busy with classes all week and Delphine has her own work to do on her dissertation, but they make time to see each other whenever they can, even if it’s just for lunch and dinner. They started getting all of the immigration forms filled out and organizing their documents together. Delphine stays over at Cosima’s apartment often and it’s nice, but Cosima is worried that it’s getting too domesticated too quickly. The last time it happened, she met Shay in the quad and was getting her ring returned to her.

Cosima knew she had to keep things fresh for the two of them, so she planned a weekend in the city. They’d do all of the touristy things that people did – Alcatraz, Pier 39, Fisherman’s Wharf, Coit Tower, Golden Gate Bridge, the works. The next day, they set off on their little adventure and Delphine can see how excited Cosima is to go into the city, so that enthusiasm rubs off on her.

While on the ferry heading to the small prison island, Delphine and Cosima stand near the front of the boat. Delphine drapes an arm around Cosima’s shoulder and kisses her on the side of the head. They get to Alcatraz and pick up their headphones and audio tour players, exploring the historical jail cells and the rest of the grounds. Cosima hadn’t been there since she was a kid, so it was almost like seeing it all again for the first time.

After that, they head to Pier 39 and walk through the crowds, hand in hand. They stop by all of the various shops and have lunch. Cosima asks Delphine if she’s having a good time and Delphine nods enthusiastically. Any time spent with Cosima is a good time, she thinks.

“Good, I’m glad,” Cosima answers, staring at her plate and moving bits of food around with her fork. Delphine reaches across the table and takes Cosima’s hand in hers.

“What is all of this about?” She questions. “Don’t get me wrong, I love spending all of this time with you, but this just seems like a lot.”

Cosima frowns and puts her fork down. “I don’t want you to get bored… of me.”

Delphine squeezes her hand tighter and urges her to look up. “What are you talking about? I’m not bored of you. It’s true we haven’t gone out as much in the past few weeks, but you’ve been busy with classes and I’ve been working on my dissertation. It doesn’t mean I’m bored.”

A breath gets caught in Cosima’s throat as she averts her eyes away from Delphine’s. “I just don’t— I can’t…” She chokes back sobs. Delphine pays the bill and hugs Cosima close while they walk out of the restaurant and head someone quieter.

They find a bench to sit on, facing the water, with Delphine still embracing Cosima while she cries quietly into her shoulder. It takes Cosima a few more minutes to calm down enough to be able to speak. She wipes her face off with her sleeve.

“Shit, sorry about that.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Talk to me, what’s going on?”

Cosima takes a deep breath and stares out into the expanse of the body of water in front of them. She can see bridges out in the distance, boats floating across the bay. She chews the corner of her lip before look up at Delphine with still-watery eyes. “Today would have been mine and Shay’s anniversary – well, the anniversary of us meeting. Some friends and I decided to go try out a new bar and she was there with her friends. I remember her walking up to me and buying me a drink and we ended up talking for a long time that night and we exchanged numbers, kept meeting up casually. I was nice, you know, feeling wanted, but when she left, it made me question… everything. Was I so delusional to think that she’d want to spend the rest of her life with me? I don’t want that to happen with you.”

“Cosima, I’m not Shay,” Delphine says quietly.

“No, I know. You’re so much better. You’re kind of amazing. I’m just afraid of losing you, I guess.”

Delphine stands up and offers her hand to Cosima to grab. “Come on, let’s head back to the hotel.”

Cosima stands up slowly. “But I had other things planned for today.”

“They can wait.”

They take a bus back to their hotel and Delphine leads Cosima to their room. Clothes are shed all over the floor, leaving a trail to the bed. Touches are gentle and slow, almost afraid that they’ll crack underneath the pressure. Every kiss holds vows of commitment, promises of devotion, and they both feel storms brewing within their bodies. Cosima holds onto Delphine like an anchor, willing her to stay, begging her to spread her roots into everything she is.

After they’ve both come down, Cosima curls up into Delphine, pressing her naked body into the blonde’s, pressing her lips onto whatever skin she can reach. The storm that was swirling inside of her erupts until she feels herself overflowing with adoration for the woman beside her and she whispers, actually meaning it for the first time, “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to post a preview of the new survival fic this weekend, so keep an eye out and let me know what you think of it/if you'd like to read more.
> 
> And, as always, thanks for reading.


	15. Aries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many updates from me! Pretty soon, you're all going to be tired of hearing from me.
> 
> This chapter is NSFW. Also, angst ahoy!

_I love you._

“You’re not saying it back,” Cosima says, furrowing her brow. She’d just laid everything out for Delphine to take and she was silent. It wasn’t until she heard a shuddered breath and felt Delphine shift her body to face hers, seeing the tears in her eyes, that she knew. Delphine felt the same way. Delphine loved her. Cosima grins crookedly and feels her own tears slide down her cheeks. She cups Delphine’s face and leans in, kissing her deeply, whispering and repeated the same three words again and again.

After another round of lovemaking, Delphine hops out of bed and jumps into the shower. Cosima grabs her phone off of the end table and sends a text to Scott.

_I’M IN LOOOOOOOOOVE!_

He replies with a series of confused emojis and Cosima laughs, telling him everything that happened in the past 24 hours. He begs her to leave out the details about how much sex they’ve had and which positions. He tells her that he’s really happy for her and glad things seem to be working out. Then he tells her that he’d better be best man at their wedding. Cosima laughs just as Delphine emerges from the bathroom.

“What’s so funny?” she asks.

“Oh, nothing. I was just talking with Scott. He says, ‘hi.’”

Delphine raises an eyebrow, but smiles. “Tell him I said, ‘hi,’ back.” She leans down to kiss Cosima, letting her thumb linger on her cheek, feeling the smooth skin under it. “Je t’aime. I love you,” she whispers wistfully. Cosima grins and takes Delphine’s hand, pressing it to her lips and placing a gentle kiss on it.

“Keep that up and we’ll never leave this hotel room,” she says huskily.

They eventually do leave the hotel and carry out the remainder of Cosima’s plans that she had from earlier in the day. The next day, they head back to Berkeley and Delphine drops Cosima off at her apartment.

“Do you want to come up?”

“Non, I have to unpack and have some work to do before tomorrow. I’ll come by for dinner, though.”

Cosima nods and kisses Delphine goodbye before climbing out of the car. She realizes that the emptiness in her chest isn’t because her heart is missing; it’s because she left it in the hands of Delphine for safekeeping. She just hopes that Delphine knows to handle it with care.

That night, Delphine shows up right on time with Chinese takeout from their favorite place. They eat together and then sit comfortably on Cosima’s couch – Delphine working on her dissertation and Cosima working on some homework that’s due the next day and studying for her exam, periodically asking the other woman questions.

“It pays to sleep with the TA,” she jokes. Delphine playfully slaps Cosima’s arm.

“What do your parents think of that, anyway?”

“What, you being my TA? I think they were concerned at first, especially since you totally screwed up my score on that one exam, but I think they just want me to be happy, so they didn’t question it.”

“Want to know a secret?” Delphine asks, not looking up from her laptop. Cosima put down her textbook and looks at Delphine. “I graded it wrong on purpose.”

“You what?” Cosima exclaims. “Why would you do that?”

Delphine continues staring into the screen. “I was hoping you would come ask me about it.”

“I… you… _what?_ ” Cosima sputters. Delphine was interested in her before this whole thing happened? Her head starts spinning and she wants to be angry, but she can’t get past the fact that Delphine wanted to see her. “You know, you could have just asked me out.”

Delphine scoffs. “No, I couldn’t have. I’m your TA and I also had Leekie to worry about. I’m sorry, I know it was wrong of me.”

“So, this makes two attempts to ruin my college career. You gonna make it up to me somehow?” Cosima asks with a smirk. Delphine finally sets her laptop down on the coffee table and turns to face Cosima. She tugs the corner of her lip between her teeth and her eyes lower themselves to gaze at the brunette’s own lips, which have turned upward into a full smile. She places both hands on the sides of Cosima’s face and pulls the brunette into her, a little rougher than usual. The move causes Cosima to moan into Delphine’s mouth, switching angles of her head to find the best position. She lowers them both into the couch and Cosima maneuvers herself in between Delphine’s legs, which instantaneously get wrapped around her hips.

Cosima rests both arms on either side of Delphine’s head, leaning in to kiss her deeply, grinding her hips down while long legs pull her in closer. She flicks her tongue into Delphine’s wanting mouth, until their tongues mold together. Cosima kisses down the length of the blonde’s neck, whispering proclamations of love between each kiss. She reaches underneath Delphine’s shirt and runs her hands across lines of ribs and muscular abs, ending the trail at her thigh and squeezing it. Delphine continues rolling her hips forward into Cosima’s, trying to create the feeling she so desperately wants. When she can’t get it, she lets a whine escape her and Cosima smiles impishly. She sits up and removes her shirt, tossing it to the floor, then has Delphine do the same and lifts her shirt over her head, throwing it down to join hers. Delphine attaches her lips to the brunette’s neck and bites down gently.

She lets out a hiss and kisses Delphine hungrily, moving off of the couch and pulling the blonde to sit at the edge of the cushion. Cosima leans in to place gentle kisses to Delphine’s stomach while reaching for the button of her jeans. She unzips the zipper and peels them off of the blonde’s legs slowly, kissing all the way down her thigh. Pulling Delphine closer to the edge, Cosima sits with her face between the blonde’s legs, inhaling her scent. She flicks her tongue up the length of Delphine’s sex, over the fabric of her panties, causing her to cry out and buck her hips up. Delphine grips the edge of the couch until her knuckles turn white.

“I thought I was the one who was supposed to make it up to you,” she says breathlessly.

Cosima looks up and grins. “You are. May I?” Cosima asks with her hands on the band of Delphine’s underwear and she nods. The brunette then removes the article of clothing left that’s blocking the way to her desired destination. Delphine spreads her legs wider and sets one over Cosima’s shoulder. She can feel warm breath on her skin and her heart races with anticipation. Cosima continues to tease her with kisses up and down her thigh, on her hips, across her stomach.

“Cosima,” she whines. “Please.”

Cosima smiles and finally ends Delphine’s frustration by licking up her entrance, gathering the slick arousal on her tongue and feels Delphine’s hand grab the back of her head, pulling her closer. She switches between circling her tongue around the blonde’s clit and sucking on it, finding out what makes her react. They’re still trying to learn each other’s bodies and what they do and don’t like. She looks up at Delphine, who has her eyes screwed shut and her head thrown back. She’s breathing heavily and her chest heaves up and down. 

Cosima gets up and sits on the couch, pulling Delphine over her to straddle her lap. Cosima brings her lips to the center of her breastbone. She snakes her hands up and down Delphine’s back and unclips her bra, letting it fall to the floor. Delphine rolls her hips, meeting Cosima’s own grinding hips. She holds onto the back of the couch with one hand and onto Cosima’s shoulder with the other to keep herself upright.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Cosima whispers and looks up at her girlfriend. She pulls Delphine down to meet her lips and kisses her, biting down on her lower lip. The brunette lowers her head to give attention to Delphine’s breasts. She takes a nipple in her mouth and flicks her tongue around it, feeling it harden in her mouth. Delphine’s hips jerk forward as she feels Cosima’s teeth scrape along the stiff nub. She’s getting impatient waiting for Cosima to touch her.

“Baise-moi,” Delphine hisses.

“I don’t know what that means,” Cosima says, smiling, while she continues placing kisses across Delphine’s chest.

“Fuck me,” she growls.

“Oh,” Cosima gulps. She wasn’t used to that kind of talk coming from Delphine, but it ignited something inside of her and she brings her right hand lower to cup Delphine’s sex. She brings a finger to her entrance and slowly inserts it, allowing Delphine to adjust before inserting a second. The blonde moans while holding Cosima’s head close to her chest and rolls her hips forward, meeting Cosima’s movements.

Cosima uses her palm to rub Delphine’s clit with each stroke of her fingers. Her wrist starts to get sore, but there’s no way she’s stopping now when she can Delphine is inching closer to her release. She begins thrusting harder, becoming absolutely intoxicated by the gasps and moans coming from the woman above her. It doesn’t take long for Delphine to come undone with a cry; her body shudders while Cosima holds her through the waves of her orgasm. She falls over and lies on the couch, her legs still draped over Cosima’s lap.

“Mon dieu,” Delphine gasps, out of breath.

“Holy shit,” Cosima responds. “I’m just gonna say, you speaking French during sex is really hot.”

Delphine swings her legs off of Cosima and stands, walking toward the bedroom. Cosima asks where she’s going.

Delphine looks back and smirks, “I’m not done making it up to you yet.”

* * *

Cosima leans on her arm, facing Delphine, and runs her hand through the blonde locks. “I can’t believe you’re mine,” she says.

“All yours, ma chérie,” Delphine replies, kissing her gently. She lies on her back and stares up at the ceiling of the apartment. Cosima slides up beside her and throws an arm over her abdomen.

“Can you believe I’m graduating in a month?”

“Yes,” Delphine kisses Cosima’s temple. “You’ve worked hard. Have you thought about what you’re going to do after?”

Cosima hums. “I don’t know, probably work on a masters or PhD, but it all depends.”

“On what?” Delphine asks.

“You.”

Cosima had been thinking about this a lot. She applied to grad school at Berkeley and was accepted, but she also applied to the University of Minnesota and was accepted there, as well. She wants to stay with Delphine, but she isn’t sure what their future holds and they haven’t talked about it. She knows it’s stupid to hold up her education for someone else, but she and Delphine are at the start of something new and wonderful and she doesn’t want to jeopardize it.

“What do you mean it depends on me?”

Cosima takes a deep breath. “Well, what are your plans after your dissertation is done? Are you staying in Berkeley?”

Delphine shrugs. “I’m not certain. It all depends on where I can find work and which companies are looking for an immunologist. I have a few leads, but none of them are in Berkeley.”

Cosima’s heart sinks. Delphine isn’t thinking about her future with her. She isn’t sure what she expected, but she hoped that Delphine would at least consider following her, or vice versa. She silently gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom, ignoring Delphine calling out her name, and closes the door behind her. Cosima turns on the shower to mask her sobs; she sits on the cold tile and lowers her head into her hands. Delphine knocks quietly on the bathroom door, but Cosima doesn’t respond and jumps into the shower.

When she’s done showering, she walks out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around herself and walks over to her dresser for clean clothes.

“Cosima?”

“Can you please go? I need to keep studying,” she replies curtly.

Delphine feels a heaviness in her chest, like someone punched her. She silently gets up from the bed and walks into the other room to put her clothes back on. Cosima remains in the doorway with her arms crossed and doesn’t look Delphine in the eye.

“Can you please talk to me? What did I do?” Delphine pleads.

Cosima shakes her head. “Please, Delphine, just… just go.”

Delphine worries her lip and creases her forehead before opening the door to Cosima’s apartment and stepping out. Once Delphine leaves the apartment, Cosima’s legs buckle underneath herself and she crumples to the floor. Her sobs wrack her body uncontrollably and she bends over, wrapping her arms around herself.

After a while, Cosima has moved to the couch and is lying down when she hears her phone vibrate on the table. She lifts it and sees a text from Delphine, apologizing for whatever it was that she did or said that upset Cosima. She scoffs and throws her phone back on the table. She felt foolish; she had been so sure that Delphine would be different, that she could build a life with her, but now she wasn’t sure. After everything she’s been through, she should have known better.

The next day, Cosima sits in her usual spot on the aisle. When they got back from Atherton, she, Scott, and Allen had moved up to the front, so Cosima could sit next to Delphine, but Cosima couldn’t bear to be near her. Before class starts, Delphine sits down in front and looks at the empty seat next to her. She scans the rest of the room and sees Cosima, who is staring into her notebook, as well as Scott and Allen. Scott gives her an apologetic wave.

“Delphine is looking for you,” he says.

“Don’t care,” Cosima replies harshly.

“Come on, Cos. You don’t really know what’s she’s thinking. Maybe she is planning on a future with you, but she didn’t know how to say it.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. She avoided the subject completely. All she talked about was what she was doing for work, nothing about me.”

If she was being honest with herself, she knew that Delphine completely changing her life to be with Cosima was illogical. A month ago, they were complete strangers to each other, had their own lives. To expect Delphine to change her plans and follow Cosima wherever she went to grad school was asking for a lot, considering they just started officially dating.

She feels nauseous and probably would have skipped the class if they didn’t have an exam that day. She watches Delphine slowly ascend the stairs as she hands out exam sheets, row by row. When she gets to Cosima, she hands her a small stack of papers and the brunette takes them without even glancing at her.

Cosima rushes through her exam, wanting to get it over with quickly. She never did end up getting back to studying the night before and it shows, but she doesn’t care. When she finishes, she rushes down the stairs and puts the test on top of Leekie’s desk before exiting through one of the doors at the lower level. As she pushes through the door, she hears Delphine call her name behind her. She freezes, but doesn’t turn around.

“Cosima,” Delphine tries again, “please talk to me.”

Cosima clenches her jaw and balls her fists. She feels a hand on her shoulder and whips around, jerking herself away from the touch.

“What are we doing, Delphine?”

Delphine shakes her head in confusion. “What do you mean ‘what are we doing’?”

Cosima looks straight into the blonde’s eyes, seething with bubbling rage. “I mean, what are we _doing_? After I graduate? What happens? Is this some kind of temporary thing for you? We’re just dating and then you drop me when you find something better?”

Delphine takes a cautious step forward. “Cosima, what are you talking about? You’re not just someone I’m dating. I love you. And you haven’t even told me what grad school you’re going to, so it’s a little hard for me to plan around that.”

Cosima lowers her eyes. She is such an asshole; she’d only told Scott where she was applying to grad school and never told Delphine. Her pride keeps her from apologizing, though, and she stands in front of the blonde silently.

Delphine continues, “And there’s one more thing. I know it’s going to upset you, but I don’t want to hide anything from you and I want to be honest. Professor Leekie said he can get me an internship this summer, but it’s in Toronto. If they like what I do there, they’ll take me on full-time.” She waits for Cosima to have another outburst, but it never comes. Instead, she just sees Cosima’s breaths become accelerated.

“And you want to go?” Cosima says finally.

“It’s-it’s an opportunity of a lifetime, Cosima. I could begin my whole career there. The DYAD Institute has the most advanced and cutting edge research.”

“You know you can’t leave the country while you’re waiting on citizenship, right?”

Delphine pauses. “I know. I wouldn’t renew my U.S. citizenship. We wouldn’t have to lie to immigration anymore. I thought you’d be happy about that.”

Cosima laughs humorlessly. “You _are_ just like her. You’re going to convince me that everything is fine and then you’re going to leave.” She looks up into Delphine’s eyes once again with a look that Delphine has never seen before. “What did you do to get that internship?”

“What?”

Cosima takes a step forward. “You told me Leekie took away your last job offer when you refused to sleep with him and now, all-of-a-sudden, he’s giving you another one? What did you do?”

“You think I slept with him? Is that it?” Delphine spits. Cosima shrugs in response. Delphine looks at her incredulously and feels tears welling up in her eyes. “I can’t believe you would think that.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time you faked your way into getting something you need.” Cosima knows she’s being overly harsh, but she’s hurt and retaliating. Delphine expels a sob from her chest and brushes past Cosima. She doesn’t follow; instead, she walks aimlessly around campus until she ends up in the quad. She finds the bench where she and Shay broke up and sits down. It’s almost poetic that she ended back up here, after chasing away another woman. She looks at the ring on her finger and instantly regrets the way she handled things with Delphine. She knew she was being unfair, but it brought up so many bad memories and feelings that she couldn’t help herself. She takes out her phone and considers calling Delphine, or even sending a text, but she decides to wait until things cool off a little. By the time she gets back to apartment, there’s an envelope tucked into her door handle. She opens it up and sees her grandmother’s wedding ring inside. Delphine was returning the ring and taking back her heart.

She spends the weekend with her parents and tells them what’s been going on. She can tell her mom is resisting the urge to say ‘I told you so,’ but thankfully, she resists. They tell her she can move back home while she figures out what she’s going to do after graduation, but she tells them she doesn’t know what she’s doing yet. Siobhan and her kids come by to visit and they console Cosima as well as they possibly can.

“I knew she was bad news,” Felix sneers with a flick of his wrist. “Never trust the pretty ones.”

Sarah scoffs. “Oh, piss off. You two were best buds at the bar, shoving drinks into her hand.”

Cosima sits on the couch and leans back. She never tires of watching Sarah and Felix bicker with each other. Helena sits next to her and leans her head on the brunette’s shoulder. “Offer to beat up pretty blonde still stands, sestra. No one will ever know.”

Siobhan joins the two of them and pats Helena on the knee. “No beating anyone up, Helena.” Cosima and Delphine need to work things out like adults, don’t you, chicken?”

“I don’t really know if there’s anything to work out, S,” Cosima replies.

Siobhan hums. “You know, before we left the house in March, I pulled her aside and told her that I hadn’t seen you this happy in a long time. Know what she said to me?” Cosima shakes her head. “She said that you were the best thing to happen to her in a long time and she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this free. Even back then, before I knew the whole story, I could tell she was very taken with you. You don’t look at someone like that when you just want to use them.”

“But she’s leaving me, Siobhan. She’s leaving me like Shay did.”

“Is she, though? I know the situation is not ideal, but if you truly love this woman, you’ll do everything in your power to make it work. You fight for it. None of this distance needs to be permanent. Just think about it.”

She does think about it. She thinks about their first actual, unprovoked, kiss in front of the fire pit, she thinks back to their time on the boat and their wishes. She knew Siobhan was right. Delphine wasn’t leaving, she was being pushed away.

Weeks pass without a word from Delphine and she still hasn’t tried calling. She notices that the blonde has been absent from Professor Leekie’s class all week and it’s unlike her to miss it. She looks up Leekie’s office hours and decides to go in and ask, under the guise of inquiring about their final exam. She waits for another student to finish their discussion before peeking in.

“Ah, Cosima, come in,” he says waving her inside. She walks in and looks around; there are books lined up in various shelves and stacks of papers everywhere. She pulls out a chair and sits down, setting her bag on the floor.

“Professor Leekie, I just wanted to ask about the final exam and what things will be on it.”

Leekie wrinkles his forehead and looks at Cosima with a mixture of intrigue and caution. “Well, it’s going to have everything up to Chapter 32 that we’ve covered so far. Some multiple choice and some free answer. Like I said in class, you may have one full page of notes, front and back. But you shouldn’t need it. Even though you didn’t score that well on the last exam, you really only need to pass the final to pass the whole class.”

Cosima nods. She already knew all of that. “Um, I also noticed that your TA hasn’t been in class all week. Is everything okay?”

“Delphine? She’s fine. She decided to finish up her dissertation in Toronto, where she’ll be working. I suggested she go early, so she wouldn’t have so many… distractions.”

Was he talking about her? Did he know about her and Delphine? Cosima felt sick to her stomach. What if he was blackmailing her, threatening to expose their relationship if she didn’t do what he wanted? She stands up and thanks the professor, rushing out the door. She rips her phone out of her pocket and tries to call Delphine, but it goes straight to voicemail. While she runs across campus, she tries calling Scott.

“Cosima?” his voice answers on the other end.

“Scott, I need your help.”


	16. Circinus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the home stretch, folks! Three more chapters and this fic will be finished. It's a little bittersweet, since this is the most popular fic I've ever had (thanks to all of you) and I'm kind of sad it's ending, but I hope you all continue to read other stuff I post and enjoy it just as much.

Scott stares at Cosima across a table in the student union. “Cosima, our final exam is in four days and you’re graduating next week. You don’t have time to go to Toronto.”

“I have to, Scotty. I messed everything up. I can’t let her move to Toronto without knowing how I feel about her.”

Scott gives her a concerned look. “You’re such a sap,” he teases. “Who knew you’d fall for your fake-fiancée-TA?”

“So, you’ll take notes for me in the classes that don’t clash with yours?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it covered,” Scott replies. “And don’t worry about Snoop; I’ll check on him.” Cosima shoots across the table and wraps Scott up in a tight hug. “You’re the best, Scott.”

“Okay, get going. You have a plane to catch.”

Cosima rushes back to apartment and packs. Her plane leaves in a little over three hours and she still needs to catch a BART to the airport. She gives Snoop one last head pat and walks out the door. She double checks that she has everything and descends the stairs. She keeps a hand in her pocket, where she tucked her grandmother’s ring and takes a deep breath while she waits at the bus stop. She knows what she’s doing is completely insane, but she’s never wanted to fight for something as much as she’s wanted to fight for Delphine.

The flight to Toronto is long, so Cosima does what she can to occupy herself. She writes out what she plans on saying to Delphine, but knows she’ll completely forget everything once she gets there. There are movies to watch, so she tries that, but catches her attention drifting after minutes. Then, she tries to study for her finals, but still can’t concentrate.

“Nervous flyer?” a woman sitting next to her asks. She has wavy blonde hair and immaculate nails.

“Something like that,” Cosima answers, blushing a little. “I’m heading to Toronto to try and win my girlfriend back.”

The woman claps her hands together excitedly. “Oh, I love romantic gestures. What’s your name, doll? I’m Krystal.”

“Cosima, nice to meet you.”

The pair talk for the remainder of the flight. Cosima explains her whole situation while Krystal listens attentively, interjecting every once in a while with some advice.

“Listen, honey,” the blonde says while popping the gum in her mouth, “yours and Delphine’s love sounds like something out of a movie. Hold onto that. I can only hope that Hector and I stay together long enough to feel that.”

After they land, Krystal hands Cosima a business card and tells her to come visit if she’s in the area - first manicure on the house. Cosima gives her a hug and makes her way through the maze of the air terminal and hails a taxi, telling him to head to DYAD. She has no idea what she’s going to do once she gets there, or even how to find Delphine.

The driver drops her off in front of a huge building with multiple wings. This was going to like finding a blonde needle in a haystack. She pushes her way through the revolving door and sees a receptionist straight ahead.

“Hi, excuse me, I’m trying to find someone. Can you help me?”

The receptionist looks up at her, unimpressed. “Name?”

“Um, mine or hers?”

The receptionist rolls her eyes. “Whomever it is that you’re looking for.”

“Oh. Delphine Cormier, she’s an intern. Immunologist.”

The receptionist scans her computer monitor. She sighs. “Fourteenth floor, but that’s a restricted floor. You’ll have to wait here while I call her.” She picks up the receiver of the phone and punches in a few numbers. “Yeah, there’s someone here to see you. I don’t know her name. No. Yes. Look, I’m a receptionist, not a tour guide. You’ll have to come fetch her yourself.” She looks up at Cosima. “She’ll be right down.”

Cosima nods and starts pacing around the lobby, staring at the elevator and waiting for the doors to slide open. After ten agonizing minutes, they finally do and Cosima watches Delphine step out of it with her white lab coat. She stands still and once Delphine sees her, she pauses. The look on her face starts off as surprise, but quickly shifts to stoic. She walks up to Cosima, who offers an apologetic smile.

“Hi,” she says quietly.

“Cosima, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I was going to try lifting my duffel bag over my head like a boombox, but decided that probably wasn’t going to do me any good.” Delphine crosses her arms unimpressed. “ _Say Anything_? No? Okay, we’ll brush up on your American films.”

“Cosima…”

“Right, sorry,” she takes a deep breath. “I’m really sorry, Delphine. I know I keep pushing you away and ruining things, but I realized that I don’t want to live without you. It doesn’t matter what happens when I graduate. We can figure it out later. I used to think long distance didn’t work, but we can make it work. I just know that I don’t – no, I _can’t_ let you go. I love you.” She takes her grandmother’s ring out of her pocket and bends down on one knee, but Delphine quickly pulls her up.

“Stop. What are you doing?” She pulls Cosima through a hallway and into a small breakroom. Luckily, no one else is there. “Cosima, we haven’t spoken in weeks. You can’t just come in here, propose, and pretend nothing happened. It really hurt me when you thought that I’d sleep with Leekie to get this job.”

“I have to admit, this played out a lot differently in my head,” Cosima shrugs. “I know I screwed up. I let my insecurities get in the way and convinced myself that you were going to leave me. I mean, what if you do get a job here? I would have to move my entire life here to Canada I don’t even know if I could complete grad school here.”

Delphine sighs. “I found out that DYAD is branching out to the U.S., so there’s a slight chance that I’d be able to transfer, _if_ they hire me.”

Cosima’s eyes light up. “Okay, so, maybe we can move there together. That is, if I haven’t completely fucked everything beyond repair. Can we try again?”

“We’ll have to explain to immigration why I’ve been in Canada for three months and why we postponed our engagement when I get back. I’ll have to start the process all over again.”

“Well, it’s a good thing we only sent the forms in and never paid for anything. That stuff is really expensive. We’ll figure it out, together.” Cosima cautiously holds out a hand. Delphine takes a deep breath and takes Cosima’s hand. She pulls the shorter woman into her and embraces her, kissing the crown of her head.

“You’re ridiculous,” she whispers.

“I know,” Cosima replies.”

Delphine pulls away suddenly. “Cosima, you have finals. You need to study.”

“It’s fine, I got this,” Cosima says. She tells her that Scott is taking notes for her and that she knows of a super hot TA who may be able to assist. Delphine laughs and shakes her head, leaning in to kiss Cosima. Delphine still has another hour left before she’s done with work, so she leaves Cosima in the breakroom and heads back up to her lab. At the end of the workday, Delphine meets Cosima and they head out to grab dinner before heading back to Delphine’s apartment.

When they arrive at the apartment, it’s modestly furnished. Delphine says that the whole complex houses DYAD employees and they stay there for free. Cosima lets out a low whistle. She puts her bag down on the floor and looks around. She explores every room and ends at the bedroom.

“I can’t wait to christen that,” she says with a smirk. Delphine shakes her head and leads Cosima back into the living room.

“Study first.”

Cosima lets out a whine and begrudgingly takes out her notes before plopping on the floor in front of the couch. They sit together for a couple hours, Cosima going over her notes and Delphine working on her dissertation. Cosima yawns loudly and rubs her eyes, setting her papers on the floor.

“Do you want to go to bed, chérie?” Delphine asks.

“Nuh-uh. Sex first,” Cosima says, leaning her head on Delphine’s thigh. She lies like that for a while, closing her eyes and fake snores.

Delphine looks down her and laughs. “Come on, let’s get changed and go to sleep.” Cosima grunts and stands up. They head to the bathroom and get ready then they both climb into bed.

“I’m sorry,” Cosima whispers, turning on her side to face Delphine, not being able to contain her tears. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Shh,” Delphine soothes her, placing a kiss on her forehead and then her lips. “I’m the one who ran, Cosima. Everything got too hard, we said things we didn’t mean, and I went to Canada to avoid facing it when I told you that I wouldn’t leave. All I know is that I want to be with you and whether that’s in Toronto or Berkeley or somewhere else, I know I want to be wherever you are. We’ll figure it out.”

Cosima nods and wipes her face with the sheet. “I love you.”

Delphine smiles warmly. “I love you, too.” She kisses Cosima again, with a little more intent, rolling Cosima onto her back. Cosima tips her head up when she feels lips and teeth on her neck. Her hips involuntarily roll into Delphine’s thigh that is conveniently placed between her legs. Moans fill the room and Cosima hugs Delphine closer to her.

“Tell me you want me,” Cosima pleads.

“J’ai envie de toi,” Delphine replies between kisses. “Now, let’s finish christening this bed.”

* * *

Cosima spends one more full day with Delphine in her apartment – or, more accurately, her bed. They take short breaks to eat and Delphine forces Cosima to keep studying, but motivates her by giving her a kiss for each correct answer. She could definitely get used to this, Cosima thinks, having endless sex with a beautiful woman, eating together, studying together. It was comfortable, but there was always that nagging feeling that it wasn’t enough and that Delphine would get bored.

“What are you thinking about?” Delphine asks, tracing mindless patterns around Cosima’s back with her fingertips.

“I don’t want to be without you for another two months,” she answers honestly.

“What if you came here after you graduate?” Delphine asks. “I can see if there are any openings for graduates.

“You’d really want me here?” Cosima asks, looking up at the blonde. “I wouldn’t cramp your style?”

Delphine laughs. “No, of course not. I’d love you to be here with me.”

Cosima sits up. “Great! I’ll spend a week with my parents after I graduate and then I’ll fly back. You can show me all the Canadian things, like Mounties and wild moose and Tim Horton’s. This is going to be fun. Wait, you can’t come to my graduation, can you? Like, immigration probably won’t let you back into the States without a new visa.”

Delphine shakes her head solemnly. She immediately regrets making such a hasty decision to pack up everything and move to Toronto after Leekie told her she could go. If she argued for it enough, she probably could have finished up the semester before going, but she was so hurt and angry by what Cosima said that she wanted to escape.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure my parents will record it. It’s just me walking across a stage and getting a blank piece of paper that said I was able to bullshit my way through college. No biggie.”

“Still, I would like to be there to support you.”

Cosima grins. “Maybe I can have Sarah and Felix FaceTime you while it’s my turn.”

They continue to lie next to each other, interlocking their fingers together, Cosima brings them to her mouth to kiss the knuckles gently. She doesn’t want to leave, but she knows she has to. Delphine has to work and her final exams are spread out through the next week. She feels prepared enough and knows that getting to the end of the semester will be easy, but the future terrified her. Sure, she and Delphine were making these plans for summer, but what will happen after that? She still needs to think about grad school, where she’s going to end up, and where Delphine is going to end up. There were still so many uncertainties about their relationship and Cosima wasn’t sure how to tackle them. But, it could wait, Cosima surmises. They still have the rest of the summer to figure everything out.

Delphine takes Cosima to the airport the next morning and as Cosima walks toward the line for security, she turns to face the blonde and does her best to control her emotions.

“We’re going to see each other again, right? This isn’t goodbye?”

Delphine nods and leans in to kiss Cosima deeply, not caring if there are eyes on them. She wraps both arms around the smaller woman and holds onto her, trying to convey to her that she isn’t planning on letting go. When they finally release each other, Cosima reluctantly joins the other passengers in the line for security and Delphine waits until she can no longer see the brunette through the crowds of people before heading back to her car. She reaches into her pocket and feels something that wasn’t there before. She pulls it out and it’s Cosima’s grandmother’s ring with a small note rolled up inside it that says ' _I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that it’s bad luck to return a person’s dead grandmother’s wedding ring, so I’m giving it back to you. You’re way too pretty to be cursed for an eternity.'_ Delphine laughs at the note and takes a photo of her hand with the ring on and sends it to Cosima. A minute later, Cosima receives the photo and grins widely. She knows they aren’t really engaged, but she can at least pretend for a little while longer.


	17. Eradinus

Cosima arrives back in Berkeley and gets Scott up to speed. He tells her she didn’t miss much in the classes she missed, but he took some notes for her and left them on her coffee table. She thanks him and tells him she owes him at least ten pizzas and four cases of beer. She spends the next couple days studying for her exams. The first two go smoothly, but Leekie’s is her last one. She arrives at the lecture hall early and saves Scott and Allen their seats.

They come in a few minutes later and take their seats. Leekie appears to have found himself a temporary TA to help him pass out tests, but this guy’s got nothing on Delphine. The test is easier than Cosima thought it would be and she breezes through it. She sets the completed exam on the desk in front of the room and just as she’s about to turn to leave, Professor Leekie stops her and tells her he’d like to speak with her during his office hours later that afternoon.

After discussing the test with Scott and Allen, she heads to Leekie’s office and paces around outside until he shows up. He greets her and unlocks his office, opening the door to allow her inside. She takes a seat nervously and darts her eyes around the office while he closes the door and settles in front of her.

“Ms. Niehaus, thank you for meeting me. I think you know what this is about.”

Cosima wracks her brain. Was this about Delphine? Did she miss an assignment? “Um, actually, I have no idea what this is about,” she replies.

Professor Leekie clears his throat and interlocks his fingers together in front of himself. “Listen, Cosima, you’re a very intelligent woman. I can see what Delphine sees in you, but I sent her to Toronto for a reason. She can thrive there. The work that she’ll do will be astronomically superior to anything she could do at any facility in the United States. DYAD has excelled in every way possible. We have the tools and the capabilities that no other research facility has.”

Cosima sees where this is going. Leekie wants Delphine to himself. She’d heard that he was taking a sabbatical for the next year and now he just confirmed that he would be working at DYAD with Delphine. “I also heard that DYAD may be expanding to the United States. Would it not also be equally as advanced here?”

Leekie appears amused by Cosima. “That is true, but it won’t be ready to move into for years. It’s just in the early stages of zoning and building. Cosima, I asked you here as a favor to Delphine. Listen to me carefully. If you do anything to persuade Ms. Cormier to leave Toronto, I have enough evidence to present to the school board to make sure you never graduate and ensure that no grad school will accept you.”

Cosima scoffs. “What evidence? You don’t have anything.”

“No? I’m a long-standing professor with tenure and you’re an undergraduate student who’s had a relationship with a TA, which, I might add, is against school policy. It wouldn’t be good for either you or Ms. Cormier.”

“You can’t prove that we’re in a relationship.”

Leekie tosses a stack of papers on top of the desk. Cosima picks them up and looks at them; they’re the immigration forms they filled out and sent in to Art Bell. “Where… where did you get these?”

“Let’s just say I have some friends at the immigration office who owe me some favors. I treated Mr. Bell’s daughter years ago. Now, let’s cut to the chase. You leave Delphine alone, I allow you to graduate and can give you radiant reviews and letters of recommendation to any grad school you choose.”

“Can you at least give me some time to think?” Cosima asks. Her mouth is dry and her hands are shaking. Leekie tells her that she has until the end of the week to give him an answer. She leaves his office and her legs take her out of the building, but she doesn’t know where she’s going or what to do. If she does what Leekie wants, if she breaks off all contact with Delphine and lets her believe that she’s abandoned her again, she knows she won’t get another chance. That’ll be the end of them. Then, on the other hand, she can’t bear to think that she’d be the cause of ending her career before it even began. Deep down, she knows Delphine would forgive her, but Cosima knows how hard she’s worked to get where she is. Delphine deserves better.

Finally, Cosima stops walking around with no destination and she knows what she needs to do. She takes her phone out of her pocket and starts dialing.

* * *

 

A couple hours later, she meets up with Scott and Allen and fills them in on her plan. She’d called Siobhan and asked for a favor, since she still had a lot of contacts in the police force. She asked her to look into Professor Leekie and see if she can find any dirt on him. If he had been capable of blackmail, what else was he capable of?

She was doing her best to not involve Delphine and she was also purposely not contacting her, in case Leekie was keeping tabs on them. Later that night, Siobhan calls Cosima while she’s at Scott’s apartment and tells her they found something and she’ll send her the information. Siobhan tells Cosima that she needs to be careful, because her graduation is still in jeopardy, so to be careful.

“This is so cool. It’s like we’re private investigators,” Scott gushes. “Do you have a plan?”

Cosima nods. “I just need to hold out until graduation, but if I don’t communicate with Delphine before then, she’ll get suspicious.”

“I can talk to her, if you want. What do you want me to tell her?”

Cosima pauses and thinks for a moment. “Tell her that I’m swamped with exams and a family emergency - oh, and preparing for graduation.”

Scott raises and eyebrow. “All of that? You don’t think it’s a little excessive? She’s going to wonder why you didn’t just tell her yourself.”

Cosima waves her hands in front of her. “All right, fine. Just tell her that I lost my phone and I can’t get one until after graduation.”

Scott nods and heads outside to make the call. He hears Cosima yell, “Oh! And tell her that I said I love her. A lot!” The door shuts behind him.

Now that Cosima has taken all of her exams, all she has to do is wait for the results. She also needs to make sure she gives Leekie her answer and make him believe that she will no longer contact Delphine in exchange for a letter of recommendation for graduate school. After sending Leekie an e-mail that simply says she’ll agree to his request, he tells her to come by his office for the letter of recommendation later that week.

By the time Friday rolls around, she’s on her way to Leekie’s office to pick up her letter. Once she gets there, she sits in the chair across from him and waits for him to speak.

“I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding, Ms. Niehaus. I would hate all of your talents to go to waste.” Cosima smiles through a clenched jaw and wants nothing more than to slap this slimy bastard into the next decade, but she just grips the armrests of her chair. “Now, I’ve spoken with Ms. Cormier and have offered her a position with DYAD full-time. Naturally, she told me she would have to think about it, which most likely means she wants to discuss it with you. I just wanted to remind you of our previous discussion.”

“The one where you threatened to fail me and ruin my chances at ever getting into grad school? Yeah, kind of hard to forget.”

Leekie stares at Cosima, seemingly studying her face. His thin frame leans back in his chair and he rests his arms on the armrests, interlocking his fingers together. If he wasn’t such an abusive asshole, Cosima would have thought he was one of the most brilliant men alive.

“You know, Cosima, DYAD is always looking for bright minds. I could put in a good word.”

Cosima scoffs. “I know what your ‘good words’ entail, Professor Leekie. I know there’s always a catch.

Leekie gives Cosima an amused grin. “No catch. You’re top of your class and I’m assuming you’re graduating with exceptionally high marks. We could use someone like you.”

“What, I’m not your type?” Cosima responds, trying to egg him on. “Not tall enough? Not blonde enough?”

Leekie chuckles. “You are a fiery one, Cosima. Give it some thought. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have another appointment to get to.” He stands up and ushers Cosima out of his office. As she walks out of the building, she takes her phone out of her pocket and turns off the recorder. She calls Siobhan.

“Hello, love.”

“He didn’t bite, S. I still couldn’t get anything out of him that wasn’t circumstantial or just some off-handed comment, even after he offered me a job with DYAD.”

“He’s smart. He’s avoided lawsuits, or settled out of court all these years. We’ll get him. Leave it with me, chicken.” She hangs up. Cosima stares at her phone and the list of previous calls. Delphine takes up most of the space and she realizes just how much she misses the blonde. It would be so easy to hit the call button and hear her voice, but she knows she can’t. She can’t allow Delphine to get involved in any of this, because she knows the blonde would feel guilty about it. The next two weeks are the longest two weeks of Cosima’s life, without being able to talk to her girlfriend and also waiting for her grades and commencement. 

* * *

 

After seeing her final grades for the semester, she’s at least able to breathe a temporary sigh of relief. Her graduation ceremony is a few days away and she spends a lot of time with the guys to keep her mind occupied. Her parents, Siobhan, and her kids all said they’d be there for the ceremony. On the day of graduation, Cosima, Scott, and Allen all meet up beforehand and get ready. They help each other with their gowns and caps, and then head to campus together. Upon arriving, they see their parents and head to the large hall filled with other faculty and graduates. Cosima spots Professor Leekie among them and tries to ignore the nausea in the pit of her stomach.

The commencement is long and extremely boring, name after name being called. When Cosima’s name is finally called, she hears some hollering and coming from the stands. She sees her family cheering, but notices someone else standing with them.

Delphine.

Her smile is wide and her eyes are shining; she looks so proud. Cosima waves at her and Delphine waves back. Professor Leekie is standing on stage as one of the faculty members and he’s visually upset upon seeing the blonde in the stands. When Cosima walks up to shake his hand, he grips her hand hard and gives her a tight-lipped smile, whispering, “Guess the deal’s off. I hope you like working retail.” She yanks her hand back and hurries back to her seat next to Scott.

“Delphine is here.”

Scott smiles at her. “Surprise.” Cosima realizes that when she had Scott call Delphine and tell her the fake story about her phone being out of commission, that’s probably when he found out that she was coming.

“I can’t believe you kept this from me,” Cosima says, more impressed than angry.

“I’m sorry! I was sworn to secrecy. She can be pretty intimidating, you know.”

“Yeah, but you don’t get it. She wasn’t supposed to be here. Leekie was supposed to think I had no contact with her at all.”

Scott shakes his head. “Delphine said she and your aunt have it all taken care of.” Just as the commencement is wrapping up, a couple of police officers rush the stage and grab Professor Leekie’s arms.

“What is the meaning of this?” He yells. One of the policemen Mirandize him and the other puts his hands behind his back and cuffs them. They pull him off of the stage while everyone in the crowd and the rest of the faculty stare aghast. A faculty member makes an announcement in the microphone and advises the graduates and their families to disperse and go celebrate. Cosima jogs off to find her family and meets them outside. Delphine sees her and takes a couple steps forward.

“What are you doing here?” Cosima asks, wrapping her arms around Delphine, hugging her tightly.

“I couldn’t miss your graduation, chérie.” 

“Yeah, but what about Leekie? He blackmailed me, Delphine. He told me if I spoke to you again, he’d ruin both of our lives. He could have had time to put a plan in place before he got arrested.”

“Don’t worry about that, love. Your cousins and I took care of it,” Siobhan says.

Delphine can still tell that Cosima is confused. She cups the brunette’s cheeks in her hands and leans down to kiss her. “When Scott called me, he told me your phone broke and you wouldn’t be able to talk to me until you got a new one, but it didn’t make sense that you wouldn’t just call me from his phone. So, I prodded him a little until he caved and told me what was going on.” Cosima groans and makes a mental note to never tell Scott any of her government secrets or surprise party ideas.

“Then Siobhan called me and told me her plan with Leekie, so I contacted him and asked him about a full-time position and he got sloppy. I recorded my conversation and caught him propositioning me in exchange for the job.”

Cosima stares at her girlfriend in awe. Her eyes gloss over and her face becomes very serious. “Marry me.”

Delphine looks at her and chuckles. “What?”

“Marry me,” Cosima says again, taking a step closer to Delphine.

“You’re serious,” Delphine replies, her face also sobering up. Cosima nods, saying she’s never been more serious about anything in her life. Delphine tugs the corner of her lip between her teeth and feels a sob threatening to burst from her chest. Unable to speak, she simply nods her head rapidly and kisses Cosima passionately. She feels tears stream down her cheeks and as she’s about deepen the kiss, she hears a voice behind them.

“Oi, get a room, you two,” Sarah says jokingly.

Cosima beams and wraps an arm around Delphine’s waist. “We’re getting married.”

“Again?” Felix asks.

“This time it’s for real,” Cosima answers.

“Congratulations, chickens,” Siobhan says, kissing them both on the cheek. Gene and Sally also hug both of them. Helena walks forward slowly and looks Delphine up and down.

“You make Sestra Cosima very happy. If you make her sad, I will hunt you like little piggy.”

Cosima laughs nervously and puts her hands on Helena’s shoulders, gently pushing her toward Siobhan. “She’s just kidding, aren’t you, Helena?” Helena shakes her head ‘no.’ “Okay! Well, who’s hungry?”

Everyone disperses to meet up at a restaurant to have a celebration dinner; Cosima rides with Delphine. The blonde’s eyebrows are furrowed and she’s chewing on her lip nervously.

“What’s wrong?” Cosima asks.

Delphine grips the steering wheel. “I’m worried about my immigration status. We’ve already lied to them once about our engagement, but now that we’re really engaged, I don’t know how that’s going to work out.”

Cosima smirks. “Let me take care of that. Leekie told me something about our friend Art that he probably shouldn’t have.” She makes a phone call and after she hangs up, she tells Delphine that they have an appointment at the immigration office in three weeks. That gives them plenty of time to submit the paperwork and the fees, which they do the next day. As they sign their names on the dotted lines, Cosima looks at her actual, real-life, fiancée and smiles. She presses her lips to Delphine’s and she can’t believe that a mere four months ago, she and Delphine were nothing more than strangers using each other to get what they wanted. Cosima realizes that they’re still rushing into marriage, but she genuinely wants to help Delphine with her citizenship.

“Do you remember when we were on the boat and I was telling you about the constellations?” Cosima asks, while resting her head on Delphine’s lap.

“And we saw the meteor?”

“Yeah.”

Delphine nods.

“What did you wish for?”

Delphine looks down at Cosima’s face and cradles it with her hand. “I thought they don’t come true if you tell someone what it was.”

Cosima shrugs her shoulders. “Well, mine already did, so it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

Delphine cocks her head sideways. “It did?”

Cosima looks up into Delphine’s eyes and nods. “I wished for you. I know it’s stupid and childish and the fact that we’re together now has nothing to do with wishing upon a star, but…” She shrugs again. Delphine pushes Cosima up, so she’s sitting upright. She wraps her arms around the brunette’s arms and nuzzles her, placing tiny kisses on her neck. She breathes in the familiar scent of marijuana and coconut.

“I wished for you, too.”

Cosima turns to face Delphine, questioningly. Delphine brings her hand up to Cosima’s face and strokes her cheek gently. She brings her face closer until Cosima meets her halfway and their lips crash together in a wave of intensity. They shed their clothing quickly and stumble to the bedroom, igniting a fire on every inch of skin they touch, admissions of love and desire flowing over lips and through ears.

It feels like this is what Cosima had been waiting for her entire life. It’s what she tried to find with Shay, but she wasn’t the right person and it wasn’t the right time. People spend entire lifetimes trying to find that person they share the same soul with and Cosima believes she’s found that with Delphine. While wishes may not always come true, sometimes they do. And sometimes you have to make your own wishes come true. Cosima wove her web and Delphine found her way into it, never wavering and never leaving her side again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, epilogue is all that's left. Thank you again for all of your support with this story. P.S. I know getting engaged after, what, three months is pushing it, even for queer folks, but it's cophine. It's also fiction. 
> 
> If you feel so inclined, send me some ideas for the next fic you want me to write. Again, I've already started a summer camp, 50 First Dates, and the Greek god/goddesses fics, but if you have other ideas, lay them on me.
> 
> I will still be posting chapters of the survival fic each week and also have a couple one-shots I'm trudging through, so there should be a fairly steady stream of stuff coming out.
> 
> If you're in the U.S. and you celebrate it, Happy Thanksgiving. If not, happy regularly scheduled Wednesday/Thursday. :)


	18. Epilogue - Corona Borealis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, last chapter. Thank you all so, so much for reading and supporting, leaving comments and kudos. You guys make writing and posting worth it.
> 
>  _warm blood_ update is coming up soon. And feel free to come talk to me on [tumblr](https://bearpantaloons.tumblr.com/).

The wedding is small, just close family and friends are invited and it’s done at the city hall. They didn’t want anything extravagant, but Delphine’s parents had begged them to at least have a reception that they could attend. Delphine was surprised when her parents showed enthusiasm of celebrating her marriage to Cosima, as she’d never spoken to them about her ever-evolving sexuality. Maybe they were becoming more liberal in their old age.

Cosima had briefly considered inviting Shay to the reception, but after Sarah called her a bloody idiot, she decided to just send a text instead, apologizing for everything and, with Delphine’s permission, she hoped they could still remain friends. Shay agreed and invited the both of them out for drinks after they were done celebrating.

A small reception was held in a restaurant that overlooked the Bay. Cosima and Delphine mingle with their friends and family, reminiscing about the past year and embarrassing Cosima with stories about her youth.

“Remember that time she tried to hit on a girl at the bar and she was absolutely pissed?” Felix says. “She thought she was being so smooth, but she ended up asking the girl if she liked AC/DC, because she wants to shake her all night long, or some rubbish.”

“Hey, if I recall correctly, that girl still slept with me.”

“It was probably a pity fuck,” Sarah laughs.

“Shut up, you assholes,” Cosima giggles and playfully pushes both of them. Delphine laughs along with them, arm linked with Cosima’s. Helena walks up with a plate full of food and is using her hands to eat.

“Many congratulations, Sestra Cosima and Sestra Delphine.” They thank her and move onto the next group of people. When Delphine introduces Cosima to her parents, they immediately embrace her and kiss both of her cheeks. They congratulate the both of them and tell them how happy they are. Cosima’s natural charm flows through her effortlessly as she speaks to them about Delphine and the blonde can’t do anything but stand there and grin. They plan a lunch the next day with the two of them and all of the parents.

By the end of the night, they’re exhausted and head to the hotel that they booked a room at that was near the reception. Cosima slides the keycard through the slot and waits for the faint beep and green light before pushing the door open. Delphine stands off to the side and takes her heels off. When she stands, she’s immediately pushed back into the door of the room and two strong hands are holding her hips.

“Why, hello, Mrs. Niehaus-Cormier,” Cosima purrs.

Delphine smiles down at her wife. “Hi,” she replies. She’s then assaulted by open mouthed kisses that trace a path up the column of her neck. She moves both hands lower to cup Cosima’s ass, pulling her closer, grinding her own hips into the brunette’s. Cosima grips the back of Delphine’s neck with one hand and the other wraps around behind her, clumsy fingers trying to unzip her dress. The zipper gets caught on something and Cosima lets out a grunt of frustration. She has Delphine turn around, so her front is pushed into the door while she fully unzips the dress. She can feel Cosima pushing herself closer into her, hands exploring her shoulders and back. A kiss is placed between her shoulder blades and her body shudders at the touch.

Cosima slides the straps of the dress down Delphine’s arms, until the front of it drapes down across her torso. Still facing the door, Delphine braces herself on the door with both of her hands and pushes her ass back into Cosima’s hips, letting out a sharp gasp when she feels hands squeezing her breasts. Cosima pinches the taller woman’s nipples between her fingers and sinks her teeth into the skin of her shoulder before soothing it with a long swipe of her tongue. She can feel her entire body throbbing with anticipation. Turning to face Cosima, she grips both sides of her face and claims the brunette’s lips with her own, probing her tongue into the other woman’s mouth and swallowing her gasps and moans.

“Bed,” she says, almost demandingly.

Cosima nods and leads them both toward the bedroom. Delphine finishes removing the dress and lets it fall to the floor while also removing her bra and panties. Cosima does the same and leaves her clothing in their wake. She climbs onto the bed and pushes herself back to the headboard. Delphine climbs on top of her and hovers above her face, studying it, examining each crease and crevice. She lies between Cosima’s legs and kisses her, grinding her hips down while legs wrap around the back of her thighs. She hears the woman beneath her breathing heavily. She knows Cosima won’t come this way, but she wants to draw it out as slowly as possible. When she feels Cosima’s hands moving up her sides, she takes them and holds them about the brunette’s hands, not allowing them to move.

Cosima leans up to try to kiss Delphine, but she pulls away, ghosting her lips over Cosima’s. She groans in frustration and cants her hips forward, trying to show Delphine what she really wants.

“Patience, mon amour,” she whispers. “Let me love you.”

Cosima grunts, but stops resisting and relaxes her body. Delphine slides her hands lower, resting them on Cosima’s ribcage. She places tiny kisses down her neck and slowly moves down to the valley between her breasts before take a nipple into her mouth and sucking gently. Cosima’s back arches and hands grip at sheets. Delphine uses her other hand to tease Cosima’s other nipple between her fingers and rolls it until it hardens. She plants tiny kisses down her stomach, across her hips, the insides of her thighs, until Cosima lets out a strained whine.  
“Delphine, please touch me.”

As much as she loved making Cosima beg, the blonde ended Cosima’s frustration and placed her head between her wife’s legs, inhaling her scent. She flicks her tongue through the wet heat of Cosima’s sex and anticipates her hips bucking up, so she does her best to hold them down. A hand reaches down to grab golden locks, anchoring her down. Delphine slides two fingers into her wife and moves her tongue to the bundle of nerves.

“Oh, fuck.”

Cosima writhes underneath Delphine’s touch and as she continues getting worked up, inching closer and closer to her release, she tells Delphine that she loves her. As she comes, she feels tears steam down to the pillow. Delphine climbs up and kisses her lips and kisses the tears.

“I guess you aren’t the only one who cries after intimate moments,” Cosima laughs, wiping her face. Delphine smiles at her and kisses her forehead. With great ease, Cosima flips their positions, so she’s on top and she looks down at Delphine.

“You are gorgeous. Have I ever told you that?”

“Maybe once or twice,” Delphine smiles.

“Oh, that’s not nearly enough,” Cosima answers while placing soft kisses up Delphine’s neck. The blonde moans and rubs her hands all over Cosima’s tanned back. She then pushes Cosima onto her back and lifts a leg over her torso to straddle her.

“You’re always on top,” Cosima whines.

Delphine starts grinding her hips on Cosima’s stomach, leaving a trail of arousal on it. “You love it, though.”  
Cosima lets out a shuddered breath. She hates that Delphine’s right, but every once in a while, she liked to be the one in charge. This time, though, she let Delphine have her way. She squeezes both of the blonde’s thighs and pulls her up higher.

“Come up here.”

Delphine climbs up, so that her sex is hovering over Cosima’s face. She holds onto the headboard with one hand and feels Cosima wrap her hands around her thighs, lowering her to her mouth. The flick of a tongue on her sensitive clit makes her gasp, but Cosima’s strong hands hold her in place. Delphine takes one of her hands and grabs onto Cosima’s head, digging her fingers into her hair. When she feels the brunette’s tongue enter her, she lets out a deep, guttural moan and slams both of her hands on the headboard. She rides her wife’s tongue and reaches down to rub her own clit until she’s gasping and her hips are bucking forward erratically. She comes with Cosima’s name falling across her lips and swings her leg over and falls onto the bed next to her wife.

Cosima turns on her side and drapes an arm around her. She kisses her jaw and mumbles something resembling, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, chérie.”

* * *

A few weeks later, at the Oakland immigration office, Delphine and Cosima sit inside of the stuffy office, across from Art. He has a stack of papers on his desk and flips through them gingerly. He clears his throat and looks at the two women nervously. Cosima notices the same photo of his daughter on the desk and remembers what Leekie told her in his office about treating her.

“Okay, well, looks like your applications are in order and your fees have been waived, so someone in accounting will take care of the refund. All that’s left is this interview, which, we really don’t need to do.”

“Oh, come on, Art. Don’t you want to ask us severely invasive questions about our relationship? I can tell you how dark Delphine’s eyes get when she’s turned on.”

Delphine slaps Cosima on the arm. “Or I could tell you that Cosima wraps herself in all of the blankets like a burrito, which is especially annoying in the winter.”

Art stares at them and blinks a few times. “Nope, really not necessary.”

“Well, I can probably pinpoint where every freckle and birthmark is on Delphine’s body. They’re _everywhere_.”

“Well, your feet are like icicles. If you don’t start wearing socks to bed, you can start sleeping on the couch until you do.”

Art raises his eyes to the ceiling and leans back in his chair. “I deserve this. This is my own personal hell.”

After their interview, Cosima and Delphine leave with giant smiles on their faces. Art said that Delphine’s U.S. citizenship should go through without any problems, but it will still be a long, arduous process of waiting for permanent residency and then naturalization. It would take years, but they were in no hurry.

With the help of Professor Leekie’s letter of recommendation, even though he was now a disgraced faculty member, Cosima is able to start figuring out where she would go for grad school. She and Delphine discuss it at length and since DYAD isn’t somewhere that Delphine cared to work any longer, she would move wherever Cosima did.

They decide to try out the University of Minnesota, where Cosima would focus on evolutionary development and Delphine would be able to transfer and complete her dissertation alongside her wife. They move into an apartment near campus with Snoop and begin their new life together. Cosima had woven her web and caught a beautiful, French, former TA who started out as her fake fiancée and ended up her real wife. The same web where they lay underneath the vast expanse of stars, the same web where disdain and fear became love. But now, Cosima knew that she didn’t need a web to keep Delphine there with her. She wouldn’t leave.

Delphine would never leave.


End file.
